There’s a book that I’ve greatly benefited from, although I have never cracked it open. It doesn’t sit on my shelf because I don’t own a copy.
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman has been referenced so frequently in sermons and articles that I have gleaned enough to be dangerous.
I practice on Hubby and friends.
The concept was simple, but revelatory. There are five different ways that people experience love most deeply.
The way I want to be loved may not be the way someone else wants to be loved. Find out what floats their boat, and you’ve got the keys to the kingdom.
A Cup of Coffee, Time Together
It’s actually been transformative as well as fun, figuring out — and asking — how my Hubby and friends feel most loved (great conversation fodder over dinner or coffee).
I didn’t realize something as simple as making my Hubby a cup of coffee in the morning could bring so much joy to him (One of his favorite love languages is Acts of Service).
For my friends, I enjoy writing emails as a way to express my care and interest. It turned out for some that spending quality time together was more important.
Funny thing happened when the tables were turned.
What’s are my love languages? Hmm…
I became a bit hesitant. It felt awkward to ask for affection, much less, to have it delivered the way I preferred!
Yet, it was a step I needed to take, in order to allow others to grow closer to me.
Receiving Rather Than Giving?
It got me thinking, if it’s hard for me to tell another human being what I need, how much more difficult would it be with God?
I don’t know about you, but I prefer the position of giving to God rather than receiving.
After thinking how the five love languages relate to my immediate circle, I wondered how I could apply them to God.
How can I love God through these five modes?
Interestingly enough, I’ve been having a running conversation with God about this whole thing.
It turns out He prefers me in the position of receiving.
Here’s a snippet of our repartee:
I desire to bring you pleasure.
What? Uh… No, thank you, God. Please don’t trouble Yourself.
You’ve already died for me. I’m kinda already in debt to you for that… among a lot of other things.
Debt? Where does it say you’re in debt to me? Excuse me, but I love you.
Yeah. I know. You “love” me. But, that’s because you’re God. You love the whole world.
(sigh) Bonnie, Bonnie, Bonnie… I see you are playing hard to get.
That’s okay. I’ve got ways to show you how much I love you.
And the Five Love Languages? I’m all over that.. and beyond.
An Intro: What’s Your Love Language?
I’m starting a new series on how God has been expressing His affection — He’s Just So Into You. In turn, I’m looking forward to hearing hear how God’s placing His sights on you.
As introduction, here’s the skinny on the Five Love Languages. I’ll tell you mine, will you tell me yours?
1. Words of Affirmation: You cherish verbal appreciation, simple statements that compliment or encourage. You get strengthened by words in a difficult situation or supported in your perspective.
2. Quality Time: You feel cared for when someone focuses energy on you, while being present, with quality conversation, sharing experiences, feelings and desires in an uninterrupted context.
3. Receiving Gifts: You respond to visual symbols of love. You treasure every trinket or gift as an expression devotion. When you receive something, it makes you feel happy and secure.
4. Acts of Service: You are confident you’re loved with simple things like folded laundry, a meal on the table, or the trash taken out. It means the world when someone does something helpful.
5. Physical Touch: You feel most loved through physical contact. You enjoy a hug, a supportive touch, and displays of affection. When someone draws close to you physically, you feel connected and assured.
My prominent love language is a flash of the obvious to anyone who knows my craze for books and writing: Words of Affirmation.
“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.
Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1
How about you? What is your first love language?
Do you find it natural or easy to be in a position of receiving or giving?
Today's post is Part 1, introducing a series titled, "He's Just So Into You". Share your comments. It would be wonderful to be encouraged by sharing. Catch Faith Barista hot and fresh. Subscribe now. Receive this series directly in your mailbox via email (click here) or RSS (click here) news reader.
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