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The Facebook of Forgiveness

By Bonnie Gray • August 27, 2009 • 8 Comments

It’s National Forgiveness Day. Go Facebook someone with God today.

I recently started dipping my toes in the waters of Facebook. The few slivers of minutes I gather up to write, read, email, listen to voice mail and twitter are all accounted for. There wasn’t any more room for one more bag of social media in these arms of mine.

But, then the Facebook friend requests kept finding their way to my Inbox. I wouldn’t want my friends to think I was being unfriendly, now would I?

And so, with a little splash, I slowly waded into Facebook.

I didn’t know it at the time, but I was entering into a world of friendly micro-blogging, as well as shadows of friendships that have turned autumn.  Some winter.

I’d see their Facebook profile photos pop up, as suggestions of friends to add to my list.  Would I invite them?

– Old college buddies who’d I’d steal a $1.99 Grand Slam at Denny’s with.  Yes!

– Oh, there’s my 6th grade Sunday School teacher, Mrs. Betty!  Yes! Yes!

– A friend who hurt me who I thought would be the last person to do so? Uh ..

Oh, the rocks that have been left unturned, that we thought we had walked away from.

They are there hiding in the land of Facebook.

It bothered me that I could still feel the ache and the pain.  I thought I had forgiven.

But, I am reminded, as I stare into that face that I used to love to see:  forgiveness does not mean forgetting.

We cannot will amnesia upon our friendships. We all have brains, a heart, and memories.  They are both blessings and burdens.

I try to prod myself towards forgiveness.  For the hurts and scars that have been cut deep, though, forgiveness is a burden.

Then, God gave me a beautiful thought:  If I can trust Jesus to carry worries too heavy for me, why can’t I hand the risk of forgiveness as well?

I don’t believe that forgiveness necessarily means reconciliation.  Because there are people I have forgiven that I want no part of any more.

But, there are those who I still long to connect with, those I have forgiven, but am afraid to put my heart back out.

And so, with a prayer for courage and protection for my heart, I clicked “Add As Friend” to one in particular.

It’s been a decade apart, but in less than a day, we are now friends again.  A Facebook friend.  But, a friend none the less.

I still have a ways to go towards forgiveness in the deep places.  But, who would’ve thought.  Facebook would be a step along the journey.

Tell me I’m not alone.  Have you felt the burden of forgiveness?

Today is National Forgiveness Day.  If you can summon the courage, say a prayer of protection, hand over the results to God, and Facebook someone today.  Let me know how it goes.  I’ll be praying for you.. and me.

“Cast all your anxieties on Him, for He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:13

 

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8 Comments

  • Reply Sandra August 27, 2009 at 11:05 am

    There are people/nations/ideas I still struggle to forgive and move on. Forgiveness is not easy, does not come naturally and is not cheap. There is a picture in it for me (and us all) to understand how hard it was for God to forgive me and it required Jesus dying on that cross.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray August 27, 2009 at 11:14 am

      @Sandra: I so appreciate your words. It really adds to this post. Forgiveness is very hard. Especially for the ones that hurt the most, humanly impossible. I love how you make this point, in drawing us to the cost of the cross. And why only God can help us to carry this burden and help us.

      Thank you, Sandra. I appreciate your honesty. I’m so glad you were here when I needed to talk about sadness I’m still processing through today. Thanks for letting me know I’m not alone.

  • Reply Sandra August 27, 2009 at 11:55 am

    @Bonnie: I was honored to have been there for you. It was special, God-appointed time of bonding and fellowship. It meant a lot to me that you allowed me to enter into your life and that I was safe for you to share some of your past hurts and pains. Thank God for showing us how much he loves and cares about us through each other. 🙂

  • Reply Dana August 27, 2009 at 12:36 pm

    Hi Bonnie, I resonate with what you say. I have been amazed at how the memories have flooded back as you see peoples pictures and read their posts. The comment that you made about forgiving doesn’t mean reconciliation, has been a great reminder to me. Today I have an e-mail I have a been procrastinating writing. I pray the Lord will lead me in my thoughts and words. Thanks for the encouragement.

  • Reply Bryce August 27, 2009 at 2:27 pm

    So beautifully written. And yes, I’ve learned to forgive through Facebook as well. Today is a new day and in looking back through childhood (and sometimes college) experiences no one was perfect, especially not me.

  • Reply Bonnie Gray August 27, 2009 at 2:57 pm

    @Dana: It feels good to know my FB experience has resonated. Thanks, Dana. Yes, it’s been freeing to realize reconciliation is a two way street, while forgiveness can be one way.

    @Bryce: “Today is a new day and in looking back through childhood (and sometimes college) experiences no one was perfect, especially not me.”
    How beautifully said! Bittersweet, but true. Thank you, Bryce.

  • Reply Becky @ Farmgirl Paints August 28, 2009 at 7:39 pm

    I’m glad I found you too. Hope you have a great weekend.:)

  • Reply Twitter Trackbacks for The Facebook of Forgiveness | Faith Barista [thebonniegray.com] on Topsy.com August 28, 2009 at 8:52 pm

    […] The Facebook of Forgiveness | Faith Barista https://www.thebonniegray.com/2009/08/the-facebook-of-forgiveness – view page – cached It's National Forgiveness Day. Go Facebook someone with God today. I recently started dipping my toes in the waters of Facebook. The few slivers of minutes I — From the page […]

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