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Perfected in Love, Surrogate-Free

By Bonnie Gray • October 14, 2009 • 11 Comments

Living within the confines of safety may lead to a life of surrogacy.  God prefers to free and love us, as we are instead.

If you could become who you wanted to be, right now, what changes would you make?

Would you sport a newly chiseled body untouched by age or a wrinkle-free smile that could belie nagging thoughts?

To sweeten the deal, your new body would offer pain-free living, shielding owner from hurt and damage.

What do you think?

These was the question I was being asked, sitting in a dark room, trapped in between rows of strangers sitting next to and behind me. 

As I crunched through my buttered popcorn, nestled securely between Hubby and me (Closer to me than him.  His arms are longer than mine, you know), I unexpectedly waxed philosophical watching the latest Bruce Willis sci-fi flick, Surrogates, on the big screen.

I could have been watching a documentary on the secret wishes of the human heart.

Hmm… If I could stay in bed in the morning and send out a “surrogate” instead, would I?

I’m not talking about the days I’d hop on an airplane for vacation or stretch out on a lazy Sunday afternoon at home.

No, I’m talkin’ about the daily grind, making the donuts.

Maybe it’s a relationship askew, someone close is sick or in trouble, work or finances weighing down heavily.  Everyday life.

If we had the chance to live in the safety and comfort of our own homes and send out a “better version” of ourselves, some of us just might jump on the opportunity.

This was the premise of the movie.  Thanks to remotely-controlled robotic bodies that serve as surrogates, designed as better-looking versions of their human operators, people could live free from fear, pain and crime.

Able to control their responses behind a screen, however, people could not opt out of loneliness and hurt.

Unfortunately, doing away with brokenness also locked them out of authenticity and love.

How about me?

How have I —

— guarded myself behind a persona?

— held love at bay while compensating for my frailty?

— kept God at arms length by managing my imperfections?

By trying to figure out what’s best to say or do to avoid being unwelcomed or unaccepted, we can lose our vulnerability and the freedom of being loved.

This world has a long list of unwanted traits to keep us waiting on the doorsteps of popularity and results-oriented accolades.

God’s call to love-oriented living is so completely opposite.

We can’t judge love-oriented living by it’s looks.

It’s countenance is imperfect.

God came for the smoldering wicks, broken-hearted and sick.

We sure don’t see these on the red carpet, magazine covers, celebrity Twitter and Facebook accounts.

Somehow, we’ve gotten confused about love.

When Jesus said, “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect,” He wasn’t talking about human perfection.

Jesus was commanding us to love perfectly.

This quote is often taken out of context.  Preaching the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus was sliding into home plate with “Love your enemies and pray for those of who persecute you.”  He concluded this radical, perfect way of loving with this very verse.

It’s a home run for those of us who walk by faith.

Perfection is not what attracts God to us.  In God’s economy, love flourishes where there is imperfection.

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.

The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18

It simply arrests me when I realize God calls me to actively submit myself to a practice that only He can perfect:  Being loved!

Let us practice being loved by God and by each other. Surrogate-free.

Today's post is Part I to a new series "What's Love Got To Do With It?".
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If you enjoyed this post, you may also enjoy:
Faith Isn't Sci-Fi:  Change Takes Time
The Bloom of Becoming
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11 Comments

  • Reply Heather Sunseri October 14, 2009 at 3:14 am

    Reading your posts are like one big hug from God. With a sore throat/cold and looming deadlines at work, I so needed to hear this today. Thanks, Bonnie.

  • Reply Russell Holloway October 14, 2009 at 5:33 am

    Wow! What a great post, Bonnie. Getting off the computer and out into the world is so important. We need relationship with other humans, that is where we find our Father working in our lives. Thank you for your thoughts this morning.

  • Reply Maureen October 14, 2009 at 7:52 am

    Agreed! Some days I would gladly send out my “robot-me” to get the job done, but it would definitely would not be doing anyone justice, especially God himself who created the real me.

  • Reply Tweets that mention Perfected in Love, Surrogate-Free | Faith Barista -- Topsy.com October 14, 2009 at 8:25 am

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by MakeADifferenceToOne, Bonnie Gray. Bonnie Gray said: New Post: Perfected In Love, Surrogate-Free http://bit.ly/KAQUS Is Your Robot-Me Walking Around For You? […]

  • Reply Kelly Langner Sauer October 14, 2009 at 8:32 am

    And the perfection we long for is already ours in Jesus, because we are complete in Christ…

    Fascinating post.

  • Reply Bridget Chumbley October 14, 2009 at 8:46 am

    Yes, I think we have gotten confused about love. This is a wonderful post, Bonnie. Thanks for the reminder!

  • Reply Anne Lang Bundy October 14, 2009 at 11:17 am

    … doing away with brokenness also locked them out of authenticity and love …

    Opening our hearts to love also opens every part of our lives to the passions which inevitably bring pain. Yet without all of them, life proves empty. Even love for God—true love—involves passion and pain, for Him and for us.

    I’ll pursue the love and accept the pain to experience the passion.

  • Reply katdish October 14, 2009 at 3:20 pm

    “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect is weakness.” There’s not a day that goes by when I don’t cling to those words.

    Besides, perfection is boring.

  • Reply Deb Martell October 14, 2009 at 3:26 pm

    Having gone through two different stage 3 cancers, I can honestly say I would not have sent a surrogate. Oh, there were times the harshness of it all was almost unbearable, but the lessons learned and the refining done by a perfect loving God, were priceless. Trusting that love has pulled me out of my comfort and into newness – the old has gone, the new has come!!

  • Reply Bonnie Gray October 14, 2009 at 10:26 pm

    @Heather: I enjoy being part of your day. Thanks for including me, Heather.
    @Russell: “We need relationship with other humans, that is where we find our Father working in our lives.” I couldn’t have said it better. Onto work we go!
    @Maureen: “esp. God Himself who created the real me.” Don’t let God’s work go to waste. Right on, Maureen!
    @Kelly: “The perfection we long for is already ours in Jesus, because we are complete in Christ.” I love that verse. Thanks for a wonderful addition to the post.
    @Bridget: Thanks, Bridget!
    @Anne: “I’ll pursue the love and accept the pain to experience the passion.” It’s so lyrical, it sounds like a song!
    @Katdish: Wonderful addition to the post with this verse! “Besides, perfection is boring.” Yeah! I’m so not boring! Love it, Kat!
    @Deb: Wow, Deb! You have some big testimony to share! If you have a link to it, please share! Welcome to Faith Barista. Wonderful to have you here.

  • Reply Deb Martell October 15, 2009 at 5:36 am

    Thanks so much for the warm welcome Bonnie!! I believe if you just click on my name it will go to my blog – Nothings Wasted. My other website is the Caringbridge site I’ve had for 2 years – about the time of my leukemia diagnosis. I don’t need to update it much anymore, thank God! http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/debmartell
    Have a beautiful day – Deb

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