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Leaving The Shadows, Inviting Renewal

By Bonnie Gray • December 30, 2009 • 17 Comments

There’s a childhood favorite that gets read, re-read, and played out ad nauseum out here in the Gray household — Peter Pan. No matter how many times the story is told, I’m always a little nervous reading the beginning pages. When I get to the troubling lines, my lips move a little faster and my finger point out random details in drawings, in an effort to distract four year old TJ from thinking too deeply.

For the life of me, I just don’t understand how pointy-eared Peter lost his shadow — and why on earth would he ask Wendy to sew it back on for him?!

You’d think losing one’s shadow would come in pretty handy if your neighbor is Captain Hook and his band of toothless bandanna wrapped hoodlums were always on the hunt for you.

Yet, here I am, just like Peter Pan. While I know God is changing me for the better and asking me to let go of the lesser, I still hold back.

The Glory Way Vs. My Way

In my head, I know His way is the glory way, the higher path, the narrow road — the one that leads to true contentment and joy.

But, for some reason, in my heart,  there is a stubborn voice that says, “No, I don’t trust that you really favor me as much as you say.”  This is the shadow of glory, called My Way.

What is my New Year resolution? That’s an easy one for me this year.

God wants me to lose my shadow.  He wants me to live “Blessed and Highly Favored”.

As I read the passage where the angel told Mary —

Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.” Luke 1:28

I reacted like her —

Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. v29

Don’t get me wrong, I do count myself blessed.  That’s for sure, given I know the Lord.

But, highly favored?  Hmm… that one is definitely not a phrase that rolls off the tongue, not next to my name.

Repentant To Be Renewed

And so, this phrase has stuck.  It’s called out to me day in and day out. Just can’t shake it.

Why don’t you believe you are highly favored? God seemed to ask.

The conversations that followed led me to where I am today:  repentant.

Some people talk about being repentant about actions taken or withheld.  My repentance calls out from my heart, where certain areas of my life don’t appear to line up with “favor”.

And that is where I am dead wrong.  Repentance is a change of mind.  And boy, did God change my mind.

How He exactly changed my mind requires more word.  But, suffice it to say, I no longer want to return to my shadow.

I am saying to God, here and now:  Change my mind.  Do it.  I’m putting it all on the table.  And if I’m leaving anything back, don’t let me.

But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God.” v30

I am already good enough. It still feels weird saying it.  Sorta self-empowerment sounding.  No, my change is different, because God spoke it out of His word and it will come, to be witnessed by my disbelief.  Then, I know it is from God, and not of me.

By faith, I do believe He will answer my prayer.  Why?  Because He placed this it in me, and it won’t let me go.

How about you?  Is there a verse in the Bible — a phrase — that you can’t shake?  Maybe too good to be true?

Do not be alarmed.  The Lord doesn’t want to distract us from our shadows.  He wants to free us from them and replace it with something new.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy ;

I came that they may have (new) life, and have it abundantly.” ~ Jesus (John 10:10)

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17 Comments

  • Reply Kelly Langner Sauer December 30, 2009 at 7:01 am

    “He must become greater, I must become less…” It is not what we think, is it?

    • Reply Bonnie Gray December 30, 2009 at 10:00 am

      So totally not. Speechless. A knowing smile…

  • Reply Tweets that mention Leaving The Shadows, Inviting Renewal | Faith Barista -- Topsy.com December 30, 2009 at 7:44 am

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Glynn Young, FaithBarista. FaithBarista said: New Post — My Top New Year Resolution Is … http://bit.ly/6MKjC1 Leaving the Shadows, Inviting Renewal […]

  • Reply Candy December 30, 2009 at 8:30 am

    “Fear not.” That is my unshakable phrase. This was beautiful, Bonnie.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray December 30, 2009 at 10:01 am

      When I am shaken, please let me hear this as well. Thank you, Candy.

  • Reply Leaving The Shadows, Inviting Renewal | Faith Barista | December 30, 2009 at 8:57 am

    […] here:  Leaving The Shadows, Inviting Renewal | Faith Barista Posted in Uncategorized | Tags: believingly-continue, Bible, bring-glory, Dead, […]

  • Reply Maureen (Mo) December 30, 2009 at 9:54 am

    I will give you the treasures of darkness and riches hidden in secret places. . . . (Is 45:3)

    Because we are not taught to believe that “darkness” is good and yet we have to go through darkness to emerge into light and grace.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray December 30, 2009 at 10:00 am

      THANK YOU, Mo. I am printing this out for my new year resolve. I did not know this verse! Treasure found.

  • Reply Debbie December 30, 2009 at 10:31 am

    Mine has been to trust and obey. I am drawn lately to Philippians 4: 4-7. The Lord has been teaching me to not worry but instead come to Him. Trust Him with my burdens. And in the process, I receive His peace. How much better can that be?

    Blessings,
    Debbie

  • Reply Trish December 30, 2009 at 11:07 am

    As of late, without a doubt, this is the one…

    Be anxious for nothing, but in everything with prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

    Philippians 4:6-7

    May the Lord bless you. Thanks for stopping by last week.

  • Reply Esther December 30, 2009 at 1:00 pm

    “…a more excellent way.” 1 Corinthians 12:31
    It was the theme of our Christmas and seems to fit the New Year. Not just to do, but for the right reasons…no hiding in my shadow.

  • Reply Angie @ The One Thing December 30, 2009 at 1:44 pm

    Beautiful, spirit stirring words!! This is what I cling to…. I’m asking God for one thing, only one thing: To live with him in his house my whole life long. I’ll contemplate his beauty; I’ll study at his feet. Ps 27:4

  • Reply Lisa notes... December 30, 2009 at 2:32 pm

    “God wants me to lose my shadow.” Ouch. I was just thinking this morning how difficult it is to say “This is GOD’S day, not MY day, to do with what HE wills, not what I will.” I need to lose more of my shadow, too. Thanks for your post.

    Blessings,
    Lisa

  • Reply deidra December 30, 2009 at 3:04 pm

    “Be still and know that I am God.”

    It is so hard to be still…

  • Reply Linda December 30, 2009 at 6:24 pm

    In recent days it has been Is. 43: 18,19. I am a grandmother who tends to look back and find myself wanting. To be able to truly put the past behind and allow the Lord to make a road through the wilderness is a challenge for me. I so want Him to do something new!

  • Reply Twinkle Mom @ Sunflower Faith December 31, 2009 at 7:23 am

    I need to print this post out to keep as a reminder; Thank you for a wonderful post! Happy New Year!

  • Reply Are You Motivated by Grace or Guilt? Shake Off Feelings of Guilt | Faith Barista November 4, 2010 at 3:01 am

    […] people dream of gold paved streets and flying around like Peter Pan when it comes to enjoying heaven one day. One of the eternal amenities I’m looking forward to […]

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