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A True New: A Soul Resuscitation

By Bonnie Gray • January 11, 2010 • 27 Comments

I’ve stepped away from the keyboard and taken some breaths, lying on a spiritual gurney.  It wasn’t a metal stretcher I crawled onto for a week.  I laid myself down on a more inviting, cushioned, grace-lined pallet of “non-productive” whitespace and did some soul-searching.

Standing on this first square of the year called Start, I don’t want to merely draw up esoteric annual resolutions, re-shuffling things to do or outer-level improvements.

No, I am looking for something short of a miracle.

I need.  I want.  A resuscitation.


resuscitation - the act of reviving a person and returning them to consciousness
    1. to bring or be brought back to life, consciousness, or strength.
    2. to give or assume new vitality; flourish again or cause to flourish again.
    3. to impart new health, new vigor, or spirit to.
    4. to make or become operative or active again.
    5. to bring or come back to mind; recall.

Do any of these words trigger soul stirrings in you?

They do for me.  Each line feels like a pump of blood rushing through my spiritual veins.  It’s the Spirit’s movement in my soul.

The Spirit’s Start

The Spirit can’t be seen, but the direction it takes is unmistakable.  God’s Spirit may begin it’s work from a darker place — like it hovered over the earth when it was formless and empty — but then, it goes on, to create light and newness.

We, too, have formless and empty places in us.  Darkness may seem to reside on the surfaces of our deep, but God has made a home in us. 

Allowing His Presence to resurrect new life into my makeup is my focus this year.

The very places we shrink from and minimize is where God waits for our invitation to begin His work.  They are the very grounds to be revived and revitalized.

It’s contrary to what we’re drawn to.  We think God mainly operates on a blank or clean slate.  How very opposite to how He works!

“I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.” Isaiah 45:3

An Unspoken Heart

So, I’m going to start doing what’s anti-intuitive.  I like giving God “the best” of myself.  This year, I also want to give the parts I’ve been holding back.

It’s not easy, but I want a true new.

I’m giving Him the old.  I’m giving Him parts I’ve allowed to lie fallow, while other parts have been rendered worn or obsolete by time and circumstance. These are portions of my unspoken heart.

It’s not that I’ve flatlined.  It’s more like the opposite. I’ve tasted God’s goodness and taken a few breaths of freedom from old ways.

It’s gotten me considering — what are the possibilities of faith in my life — if I really trusted?

A True New

I’m not hoping for a list of dreams to come true or goals to achieve — although I know God can bless me with these in His time and in His way.

No.  What I want is to return to the true me in Christ — where I am unafraid, exuberant and hopeful.

There has been pause in my spirit. What will happen when I let God press play?

Faithful as the sun is to a flower’s bloom, He is resuscitating my soul — with a trickle of words.

In the coming days, I’ll be collecting mine and sharing them with you. May we each find His words in our days — no matter how many or how few.

Together this year, let us experience a soul resuscitation — and start a true new.

 

“O LORD, revive Your work in the midst of the years,
In the midst of the years make it known.
~ Habbakuk 3:2

“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.”
~ Psalms 143:8

What words are making their way to your soul?

What areas may God be wanting to unpause and press play?

A thank you goes out to Maureen@WritingWithoutPaper for sharing the Isaiah 45:3 passage
in a comment she posted, right before I entered into my whitespace.
renewalspiritualwhitespace

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27 Comments

  • Reply Kristy January 11, 2010 at 5:37 am

    I love this post. I have been doing much searching inside myself lately too. What dreams have I let die, some withering because of past discouragements. Some things the enemy has told me – “It’s pointless, don’t even bother, it won’t work.” What areas have I not given over to God – daily? All this and more I have been trying to sort through.
    Thanks for your insights.
    Glad you are back from your Whitespace!

    • Reply Bonnie Gray January 12, 2010 at 10:41 pm

      Ah-ha! The Enemy says the same to me too! He’s exposed. I’m sorting it all through, too.

  • Reply katdish January 11, 2010 at 7:26 am

    “What I want is to return to the true me in Christ — where I am unafraid, exuberant and hopeful.” – Great words. There is such freedom in this journey. It is a difficult road at times, but it does get easier.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray January 12, 2010 at 10:44 pm

      I’m still remembering your post “Be Brave”. This year is where I will try more. Even if a little at a time. And then, I hope to discover I’ll be changed over time and say with you … “It does get easier.”

  • Reply Kathleen Overby January 11, 2010 at 7:29 am

    “returning to……where I am unafraid, exuberant and hopeful” meant alot.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray January 12, 2010 at 10:45 pm

      I’m very excited about this return I’m making. Sounds like it strikes a chord with you, too.

  • Reply Brett Barner January 11, 2010 at 7:29 am

    Welcome back! It felt like my favorite coffee place was closed for a week. God has kindly pressed play on my future. We’ll see what happens. I had been on pause for several months, and now the play has got me nervous.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray January 12, 2010 at 10:47 pm

      Oh, I am so excited for you, Brett! And I’m so glad to share a cup together, now that coffee’s being served and the signs flipped back to “open”. 😉

  • Reply Maureen (Mo) January 11, 2010 at 8:49 am

    Bonnie,

    Your whitespace gets covered in wonderful words.

    Please see my January 8 post called “Got Words”. I hope you’ll join us at the Abbey, source of the Wordle. I’m planning to participate in the Poetry Party whose challenge is to use all the words contributed. There are 132. Consider adding yours.

    And thank you for the shout-out!

    • Reply Bonnie Gray January 12, 2010 at 10:48 pm

      THANK YOU for the wonderful gift of that verse! I will make my way over to the Poetry Party. Thanks for the invite!

  • Reply Chrystie January 11, 2010 at 10:47 am

    Welcome back from your whitespace, Bonnie. I hope it was marvelous and refreshing and renewing. I love this post. I have been in my own whitespace lately as well, unplugging from much of the distractions that create a plethora of noise in our already noisy heads.
    I love how you said, “I want a true new”. That is what I have been seeking. And He is faithfully “resuscitating my soul with a trickle of words as well”, as you so eloquently put it.

    The first word He spoke was control. Mmm…hard for a me to hear. I am realizing how much I like to control my life, trying to steer the ship in the direction I think God intends and with my own resources. Some other words I believe have been resonating within me during my retreat are trust, expectations, surrender, priorities, freedom.

    This was a great post! I am so glad to see you back and I am looking forward to hearing more of what you discovered during your whitespace!

    • Reply Bonnie Gray January 12, 2010 at 10:53 pm

      Control. Oh… That is the last one listed in the fruits of the Spirit. But, it is definitely not the least in importance. That is a very tough word for me, too. I wonder if it is a bit of trivia that your list of words starts with “control” and ends in “freedom”. Seems so opposite.. I am so amazed at your determination and *control* in unplugging for such a length of time. What a treasure trove you are going to be emerging with! Can’t wait to see how it will all spill out through your words on your blog — and in your life!

  • Reply Cassandra Frear January 11, 2010 at 11:43 am

    From the first verses of the Gospel of John:

    “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”

    Nothing is made unless first He speaks. I must be still. I must listen. That is how it begins. That is how the life that is LIFE begins. Not just now. But on and on throughout my years on the earth. He is always in the process of creating and re-creating. I am always in the process of being made and re-made.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray January 12, 2010 at 10:55 pm

      “Not just now. But on and on” That’s poignant. The catch is to remember the opportunity we have with such a new creativeness. But, many times, the thorns of worries can choke this truth. Thoughtful words, Cassandra.

  • Reply Bradley j moore January 11, 2010 at 1:06 pm

    I have several words for this year .. But mostly god is telling me to RECEIVE. Not sure what it means yet, but I am trying to remain open to him rather than doing everything on my own strength…
    More later, I’m sure!

    • Reply Bonnie Gray January 12, 2010 at 10:56 pm

      It’s wonderful to hear a person as involved in the workplace transactions of deals and achievement, in your work, is focused to be in a position to RECEIVE, rather than looking to your own strength. What a testimony! I wonder what this year will bring you in faith?

  • Reply Genny January 11, 2010 at 2:35 pm

    This really spoke to me. I love how you said you aren’t looking for a list of dreams to come true; you have inspired me to remember to put my trust in God. These words–this whole post–is incredibly powerful. Thank you for this!

    • Reply Bonnie Gray January 12, 2010 at 10:59 pm

      No, my list of dreams just gets longer and yellows over the years. So great to be connected together, inspired to live a life of trust and faith.

  • Reply uberVU - social comments January 11, 2010 at 2:37 pm

    Social comments and analytics for this post…

    This post was mentioned on Twitter by TheBonnieGray: New Post — God Doesn’t Just Operate on Clean Slates http://bit.ly/8lXMX2 A True New: A Soul Resuscitation…

  • Reply Maureen January 12, 2010 at 8:28 am

    and now I’m feeling like I need one of your extended whitespaces too!!! I mean, I really need one….. can’t wait to read about your resusitation!!! (can’t spell that) lol

    • Reply Bonnie Gray January 12, 2010 at 10:01 pm

      Oh, I really needed mine, too. It’s SO good. Go get yours Maureen! Extended is extra great for the new year. You know? 😉

  • Reply Heather Sunseri January 12, 2010 at 10:28 am

    Hey, Bonnie! I’m so glad you’re back. I love that verse from Isaiah. I always imagine Father saying my name (first and middle) just like my flesh and blood dad did growing up anytime he REALLY needed my attention. God has definitely led me to mix up my life this year. I quit one job at the end of year, and started a new one last week. I took a little risk and relied on God to hold me up if I stumble on this path.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray January 12, 2010 at 10:04 pm

      Wow. I didn’t know so much has been going on. And yet, your manuscript keeps going. It must be a God thing, Heather. It is so wonderful you took a risk, relying on God. Either way, no matter how things end up – your decision made in faith is going to give you the confidence to walk into the new year. I am excited for you.

  • Reply The Blessing In Learning To Wait | Faith Barista January 13, 2010 at 12:06 am

    […] post is Part 3 in the series, "A True New". Be sure to catch Part 1: A Soul Resuscitation Part 2: After Avatar: Passion's Threshold of Faith SUBSCRIBE NOW to get updates from FaithBarista […]

  • Reply cathleen johnson January 14, 2010 at 11:52 pm

    …experience a soul resuscitation–I do every time I obey our Father. At times I feel like an onion in which He is peeling layer by layer. I am so grateful for His compassion because He never peels more away at one time, than what I can handle. Even when I am shaking in my boots, as I move in faith, He is right there beside me. As I trust and obey, I see things differently. I am not the same person who was saved 37 years ago. Even though I’ve struggled in getting to obedience, I have learned so much about who I am, who He is, and who We are together.

  • Reply Corie February 1, 2010 at 4:12 am

    Thank you so much Bonnie for those words. Again you have tapped into the very heart of me. I’ve been wondering when did I begin to wane? When did I begin to feel the need for resuscitation? I don’t know. All I do know is that I want to live alive in God’s Love and His Will for me again. I want to let go of self and hold on to Him.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray February 1, 2010 at 11:24 am

      You’ll find it – Resuscitation in Him. We don’t know how it happens. But, it will.

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