“It is a safe thing to trust Him to fulfill the desires which He creates” — Amy Carmichael
Do you remember the last time you felt butterflies in your stomach?
With all this talk about romance, love, and passion this month, one word stands behind it all: desire.
Desire as a mysterious hunger is often depicted between two people who want to be with each other. That is only part of the equation.
By the time desire shows up, it’s already a petal on a bloom.
Desire is the seed, that is planted and grows — before things get physical.
Desire is a heart longing.
The seeds of desire are found inside each of us. If we are to experience passion in life with others, we have to begin with ourselves.
By the time I hit my early-thirties, I found myself still single. I started to wonder if I had the gift of singleness. I’ve always been a social butterfly and love being with people. So, it wasn’t like I was shutting myself indoors. I simply couldn’t find a love connection.
I didn’t have the winning formula for finding “the right one”, but I knew I wanted to stay passionate about life. In my quest for passion apart from romance, I learned how to develop a relationship with desire and keep it alive.
I still tap into those valuable lessons of keeping desire alive. Today, I’d like to share them with you, in hopes of getting you to share some of yours.
We often think that desire is an on or off switch. It’s more like the volume control on our iPods.
The more we learn how to dial up those knobs, apart from physical romance, the more easily we can light that flame when, and if, the time comes. Married life with kids, sickness, and daily stresses don’t have to handicap our love lives — just like not having a romantic partner didn’t spell doom for me as a single.
I was still full of passion for life, God, self and people.
My Top 10 Questions To Keep Desire Alive — Whether Single or Married.
1. Do I say “I want” more than “I should”?
2. Do I take time to smell the roses or find myself more indoors with the windows shut?
3. Is my approach to enjoyment “a little bit of this or that is great” or “all-or-nothing”?
4. Do I pay attention to the Positives or the Negatives?
5. When’s the last time I took time to read a book, listen to live music, or visited a museum?
6. When’s the last time I tried something new?
7. How can I take a small step outside my comfort zone?
8. Who can I call to just hang out for coffee?
9. When’s the last time I laughed?
10. Am I taking steps to try something I’ve always wanted to do?
Okay, how did you do with my Top 10 Questions? I continually go through this list, whenever I feel myself getting stale in my heart longings.
Sometimes, it might be tempting to just forget about desire and just let it die. The problem with that is, life gets muted, and it’s not what God had in mind for us.
After all, God didn’t create us for the sole purpose of marriage. He created us for the purpose of love.
“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But desire fulfilled is a tree of life.” Proverbs 13:12
Okay, Faith Barista Peeps —
Which of the Top 10 Questions do you identify with today?
What are your tips? Share how you dial up desire and keep it alive!
And remember, one litmus test is that it would apply to whether we are single or married!
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This post was mentioned on Twitter by TheBonnieGray: New Post — From My Single Days: 10 Questions to DIAL UP DESIRE http://bit.ly/ad1X58 Okay, Peeps, what are your Tips?…
These are great, Bonnie! I’ll take a field trip once a week to somewhere designed to get the rusty gears in my brain churning, whether it be a bookstore or an antique shop or a walk through the woods. You’re absolutely right. Desire is something we should never lose.
.-= Billy Coffey´s last blog ..Love Still Holds On =-.
I can relate to smelling the roses. Just went out this weekend to see the first signs of spring. A reminder that life abounds and I need to look for it and my Master’s beauty
Thanks my dear for your thoughtful post
.-= Leslie´s last blog ..If only… =-.
For me, it’s looking at the life of Jesus. He embodied a life of passion, but he didn’t let his passions rule him, either. For some reason, when I look at his life and I think about him as a person, my own desire and zest for life is renewed.
Wow. A great post. For me, life is often a dialing-back of desire – I tend to let me be run by it. It depends on the day, though…
.-= Kelly Langner Sauer´s last blog ..Even in Between – One Thousand Gifts =-.
Great post Bonnie! The one that I identified with the mos today was “4. Do I pay attention to the Positives or the Negatives?” This is something that is really working on me right now! Thanks for bringing it to my attention once again. 🙂
.-= Kevin M.´s last blog ..Sermon Synopsis 2/21- A disciple obeys Christ continually =-.
For me, it’s trying something new, especially at work, what I’d describe as “pushing the professional envelope.” Or writing poetry, or editing an online poetry journal (something I’d never even dreamed of a year ago). Taking my wife to a “chick flick” (saw Dear John this past weekend). Or reading something I wouldn’t ordinarily read (like a romance novel; yes, one of those romance novels). Rediscovering our art museum. Joining a poetry society. I’ve even trtied to talk my wife into going to an opera (which we’ve never done before).
.-= Glynn´s last blog ..A World Split in Two =-.
Neoteny. Play is art is love = intimacy with our maker and each other.
.-= Kathleen Overby´s last blog ..Through the Keyhole =-.
I just loved this. LOVED this! Sometimes I feel desire bipolar where I either flatline on it or feel it at dizzying levels! I love your steps for fostering desire…I will take them to heart!
.-= Kristen@Moms Sharpening Moms´s last blog ..Bless Your Heart =-.
8. Who can I call to just hang out for coffee?
This one hit me hard. Because right now, there isn’t anyone who I can call up just to hang out for coffee. The only person I’d do that with right now is my husband – and then we wouldn’t have any one to watch the kids. My closest friend that I could call like that lives 300 miles away. Can’t do that very often. I guess I need to get out there and make friends instead of making introductions.
.-= Rachel´s last blog ..Unconscious Mutterings =-.
It helps me to remember that life doesn’t wait to start when “he” walks in. We’re never promised our next breath; therefore, I think it is pretty important to make each breath count. I LOVE passion for life alive! Good stuff!!
“I LOVE *your list; good for keeping passion for life alive…!
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..A Family Affair =-.
Well said! I especially like your phrase “life gets muted.” Too often, I’m far too serious and need to lighten up, especially around our four children. Your #9 question is a good reminder for me.
Welcome to High Calling Blogs! Great to have you on board.
this is awesome and just what i needed to hear today!! thanks for the great questions…
one question that I stumbled upon tonight that goes along with focusing on the positives or negatives:
what is working today and how can I do more of it?
.-= Katy´s last blog ..from “i hurt” to feeling beautiful =-.
Nice! You put to words some things I was thinking about this past week, but that I couldn’t find words to blog. 🙂
.-= Christine´s last blog ..A Greater Yes… =-.
@Billy: Those sound like delectable desire incubators! An antique shop… now, we have a glimpse into how you keep those gears turning…
@Leslie: It’s always new – seeing beauty outdoors never tires. It always amazes me.
@Cassandra: It’s mind boggling how Jesus could be so passionate, even though He knew everything about everything. It’s a romance with life – our God has with us.
@Kelly: Oh, there’s a interesting twist to this post. How to dial it back? Hmm..
@Kevin: This is a constant reminder I return to again and again.
@Glynn: Wow. I’m pretty blown away by your list. Your wife must be in seventh heaven … those romance novels… watch out!
@Kathleen: Neoteny. Ooo, a new word for me. Thank you!
@Kristen: LOL. Desire bipolar. Love that!
@Rachel: “I guess I need to get out there and make friends instead of making introductions.” Wow. That was powerful. With kids, it definitely feels Herculean to apply the strength and effort to make new friends. We definitely need that cup of coffee, hot and with another adult. ☺
@Jennifer: I love that thought – “we’re never promised our next breath.. it is important to make each breath count.” I couldn’t have said it better. That encourages me!
@Cheryl: Four youngins, huh? I totally get what you’re sayin’. I have always had a serious bent in me, too. I’m learning that laughter is the best faith medicine.
@Katy: Ooo.. thank you! Great addition!
@Christine: Aw. That’s nice to know! Thanks!
My whole passion since my salvation in 1985 has been wanting to know Him. And to be honest, I haven’t asked myself many introspective questions. The one time I did was the day I turned fifty years old.
My question to myself was: what have I done to advance the Kingdom of God so far in my life? I could think of hardly anything.
So, I studied the lives of people who did works for the Lord after they had passed fifty years of age? I called them the late bloomers and there were many of them. One of the most famous was a man named Smith Wigglesworth who did not begin until he was over fifty years of age.
I felt encouraged and thus like Paul said: “forgetting those things which lie behind and reaching forward to those ahead, I press on…”
.-= Larry Who´s last blog ..Islamic Terrorists Vs. Radical Christians: New Game. New Rules. (Part 11) =-.