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Fill That Glass Half Full — The Golden Rules of Fearless Living

By Bonnie Gray • March 18, 2010 • 40 Comments

“The choices are never easy.

We can nurse wounds of having been cheated in life, or we can be grateful and joyful, even though there seems to be little reason for it.

It is this power to choose that adds dignity to our humanity.”

~  Gerald Sittser, Professor of Christian Spirituality

The other day, someone asked me whether I was a Glass-Half-Full or Glass-Half-Empty type of person.  I hadn’t been asked that in a while and stopped to think about it.

“Well… I used to totally see the glass half full when I was younger.  Until I got burned living that way.

I became the glass-half-empty type.  I started seeing how everything could go wrong, to protect myself against making mistakes.”

The funny thing is, life did seem to get better.  I felt more in control. I took pride in successfully predicting how the chips would fall.

But, I noticed a side-affect of such “smart” living.
I started losing my edge.
My faith edge.

I started disappearing in a shroud of avoiding rejection — whether it was relational or taking risks with new things.

Changes were subtle, but my consistent picks to stay safe yielded a life of predictability… creating a wall of people-pleasing, fearful calculations that made spontaneity and joy pretty scarce.

Thank God, my memories of the glass-half-full life came back to bug me every so often.  In the form of… regrets.

The Greater Pain Of Regret

I hid myself from the possibility of pain so well, I reached a point where the pain of regret outgrew the pain of rejection.

I got it wrong.  I will be burned regardless of how I saw the water in my glass.  Rejection is a universal human experience.

The difference in living a fearless life versus a fearful life, however, was unmistakable.

One seeks out the good, while the other lives to control the bad.

The Four Golden Rules

Will I live creating a trail of regrets on what I coulda-woulda done?

Or will I choose to live, trying to be fearless, and actually do this thing called life?

I came up with The Four Golden Rules of Fearless Living and started coming out of my shell:

1.  Choose the Harder Choice.

2.  Keep It Real With Others.

3.  Practice Seeing the Glass-Half-Full.

4.  Pray For Courage To Make Mistakes.

 

These four pointers challenged me to keep my faith edges sharp.

Keep That Faith Edge Sharp

Each time we attempt one of the above, we are exercising faith.

We risk rejection for the opportunity to live true to the desires God’s placed in us.

We exercise choice, trusting that God’s plan for us is bigger than our mistakes.

It’s ultimately a question of whether we trust in God’s goodness.

Will He:

— Catch me when I fall?

— Replenish friends if I’m betrayed?

— Heal my broken bones if I’m hurt?

— Restock the storehouses if I’m robbed?

— Still bless me, when I make mistakes?

I’m not saying it’s easy, but man, consider the alternative.

Acquiescing to fear might seem easier. But, the cost to living less than the life God intended is also steeper than it appears.

I still get hurt, but I am learning to love my glass half-full.

Whenever I’m tempted to go back to the way I was, I return to the One who drank the cup that looked half empty one dark night.

He fills my cup every time.

If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it.
But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it.
~ Jesus, Luke 9:24

Is your glass half full or half empty?

Which of the Four Fearless Rules is God nudging you to try? What new changes are you holding back on?


Today's post is a follow-up of The Four Golden Rules of Rejection.
A couple weeks ago, I gave a call out to faith baristas to write about rejection.
Some pretty awesome blogs were submitted --
Be sure to click here and take a sip of these great brews.
I couldn't stop thinking about these stories.  They are worth the read. Seriously.
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40 Comments

  • Reply Mari Larkin March 18, 2010 at 3:02 am

    Faith, This is one great post and so very timely.
    The part especially: It’s ultimately a question of whether we trust in God’s goodness.

    Will He:

    – Catch me when I fall?

    – Replenish friends if I’m betrayed?

    – Heal my broken bones if I’m hurt?

    – Restock the storehouses if I’m robbed?

    – Still bless me, when I make mistakes?

    Wow…that hit the nail on the head for me right where I’m at today. I say that I trust God, but always doubt that He WILL do these good things for me.
    Thank you for this today…I am keeping it to ponder over again and again.
    You are truly so very encouraging, thank you for being so open and real.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray March 18, 2010 at 3:22 pm

      Whether He WILL — yep, that’s where the rubber meets the road.

  • Reply Mari Larkin March 18, 2010 at 3:02 am

    Ha—I said Faith…but meant Bonnie.
    .-= Mari Larkin´s last blog ..Need Some Help with a Blog Title =-.

  • Reply Kristine March 18, 2010 at 3:55 am

    Bonnie, this is great. I seem to be a glass half empty person. Even though I try to be open to all the good things that may come my way, I’m always waiting for the worst to happen. When I lived in Scotland, I only traveled once. I am glad a took that trip, but there are so many places there I wish I had seen. For that reason, despite the cost, I booked myself a little trip for my birthday, to celebrate and enjoy life…if I can. I am still waiting for something to go really wrong and keep me from going. Thank you for the encouragement to live more fearlessly.
    .-= Kristine´s last blog ..The Fear That Holds Me Back =-.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray March 18, 2010 at 3:23 pm

      That is SO awesome – that even in the face of your worries and fears, YOU STILL BOOKED that vacation. Start dreaming up how awesome it’s gonna be! Yeah, Kristen!

  • Reply Lauren March 18, 2010 at 5:29 am

    You have no idea how God just beat my heart with your post!!! Something I have been struggling with greatly over the last few months.
    Thank. You.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray March 18, 2010 at 3:23 pm

      A-w-e-s-o-m-e!

  • Reply Kathy March 18, 2010 at 6:30 am

    Interesting….The Golden Rule I need to try more often is #1…Choose the HARDER choice.

    Whether its family matters or my attitude towards exercise/body image/food etc…I tend to take the EASY way out. It’s easier to skip the family functions and eat what ever I want and then complain about it. Why is that? (ha!) 😉 I know why b/c the alternate choice is HARD. Getting together w/ family that don’t always see eye to eye, have very different opinions, and just don’t live the way I do is challenging. Exercising and eating right is challenging.

    I need to choose the HARDER choice next time..

    Thanks for the kick I needed. 😉

    • Reply Bonnie Gray March 18, 2010 at 3:24 pm

      Go, Kathy! It is harder, but you can do it! … No kick, intended… 🙂

  • Reply Jennifer Adams March 18, 2010 at 6:49 am

    Wow! The Four Golden Rules of Fearless Living are intense! I needed to hear this. I tend to live in fear of mistakes, which I know is not very healthy. So when you said, “We exercise choice, trusting that God’s plan for us is bigger than our mistakes.” It hit me right between the eyes. I need to TRUST that my mistakes are small in comparison to the big plans He has for me! Living Fearlessly!
    .-= Jennifer Adams´s last blog ..Listening =-.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray March 18, 2010 at 3:25 pm

      It IS intense. But, I got so tired of being afraid all the time! His plans for you ARE bigger. Seriously!

  • Reply Cassandra Frear March 18, 2010 at 8:14 am

    What a great post, Bonnie. I love your four points.

    God doesn’t promise outcomes. He promises victory. He promises life. He promises us an inheritance that nothing can take away. But we can cling to idols and other things, and forfeit the grace that might be ours.

    Trusting God, while keeping my eyes open in a fallen world, is the greatest challenge of my life. I needed to be encouraged today. Your post was a gift.

    BTW, I posted reflections on loving my neighbor when it’s hard at http://www.lighformylamp.com. I think you’ll be able to relate to it!
    .-= Cassandra Frear´s last blog ..Shades of Spring =-.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray March 18, 2010 at 3:29 pm

      Thanks for the pointer!

  • Reply jasonS March 18, 2010 at 8:49 am

    I love confirmation! I’ve read several posts this morning dealing with this and wrote myself about the reasons we should embrace the uncomfortable in our lives. Great stuff, Bonnie.

    Thanks.
    .-= jasonS´s last blog ..Mad Church Disease (Ch. 5 Discussion) =-.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray March 18, 2010 at 3:29 pm

      L-o-v-e-d your post, Jason.

  • Reply Melissa Brotherton March 18, 2010 at 9:19 am

    I’m definitely a half-glass empty type of person. You’re statement about living to control the bad fits me. I feel like I can handle things better if I can catch it happening, instead of being caught off guard.

    The problem I’ve discovered with this is my lack of trust. I never fully trust the relationships I’m in, because I’m always looking for how they’re going to betray me. This is something I’ve been intentionally working on in my marriage, but I have yet to translate it to my friendships.

    After reading this post, and what you said about trusting in God’s goodness, I think it also needs to be applied to my relationship with God. I know in my head that He loves me and that He’s capable of anything. It’s trusting in my heart that He will do those things that’s the problem for me.

    Thanks for the great post Bonnie!
    .-= Melissa Brotherton´s last blog ..Uwrapping Normal =-.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray March 18, 2010 at 3:32 pm

      Sounds like we share an understanding… 🙂 Applying what I know, to live in my heart — I’m wanting this, too.

  • Reply Bridget Chumbley March 18, 2010 at 9:28 am

    As usual, I can relate to so much of what you’ve written. I struggle with several of the four fearless rules you listed.

    Thanks for these great thoughts, Bonnie.
    .-= Bridget Chumbley´s last blog ..Origins =-.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray March 18, 2010 at 3:33 pm

      As much as I’d prefer to ignore them… I return to these four, at each fork in the road. So happy to “see” you, Bridget!

  • Reply Billy Coffey March 18, 2010 at 10:10 am

    Wow Bonnie, this was so good. Gotta print this one out and keep it close.
    .-= Billy Coffey´s last blog ..Rediscovering Wonder =-.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray March 18, 2010 at 3:34 pm

      Thanks, Billy!

  • Reply Kelly Langner Sauer March 18, 2010 at 11:28 am

    Love this follow-up to Friday’s post. Amazed at your ability to write it so clearly. Tracking with ya…

    • Reply Bonnie Gray March 18, 2010 at 3:34 pm

      So cool to track with each other out here in the blogosphere…

  • Reply Rachel March 18, 2010 at 2:17 pm

    Will He:

    – Catch me when I fall? — He’s done that.

    – Replenish friends if I’m betrayed? —He’s done that.

    – Heal my broken bones if I’m hurt? — He’s done that.

    – Restock the storehouses if I’m robbed? — He’s done that.

    – Still bless me, when I make mistakes? —He’s done that.

    So if I’ve experienced all that He can do, why do I still have trouble stepping out in faith? Good food for thought.
    .-= Rachel´s last blog ..The ER….again?! =-.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray March 18, 2010 at 3:35 pm

      The climb gets higher… more heights to experience. 🙂

  • Reply Dee March 18, 2010 at 4:21 pm

    You’re right…life is not as full if you’re playing it safe. Thanks for such a freeing perspective!!

  • Reply Carol H. March 18, 2010 at 7:53 pm

    I try to think of the glass not as half full or half empty.
    The glass is over-flowing.
    .-= Carol H.´s last blog ..Preparing for Easter: Notice the sacred in the secular =-.

  • Reply cathleen johnson March 18, 2010 at 10:09 pm

    the glass is half full waiting to finish filling up so it can pour over and out onto others!

  • Reply Katy March 18, 2010 at 11:35 pm

    Pray For Courage To Make Mistakes.—that one’s a doozy for me!! I so want to live so fully present and engaged that I’m stepping out so often that it’s okay to make mistakes along the way, to learn from them, and keep moving forward. Tie into that choosing hard, choosing risk, choosing that passion. My heart is at a place where I don’t want to let the moments pass by, but I want to soak each and every one of them up! And it all goes back to continually asking….do I believe and trust Him and am I fully diving into all that He has?
    .-= Katy´s last blog ..We Are Full of Beauty =-.

  • Reply The Golden Rules Of Rejection | Faith Barista March 19, 2010 at 11:38 am

    […] here to read about The Four Golden Rules of Fearless Living.  Don’t miss it.  Subscribe now via email (click here) or RSS (click […]

  • Reply Bev McDougal March 19, 2010 at 1:33 pm

    Fearless and Abundant living–really releasing my fears and doubts and really believing God is there planning my every step for a purpose I cannot understand just yet. What faith I need to develop. Praise God, like the newness of spring, I can push the crust of earth and bloom into a person of God’s beauty. Thanks for the encouragement

  • Reply Josh Wilson: Before The Morning -- Life Is Not A Snapshot | Faith Barista March 19, 2010 at 1:38 pm

    […] Let’s help each other and keep walking.  There’s Light up ahead. […]

  • Reply Debbie {50centlove} March 19, 2010 at 7:52 pm

    L-O-V-E this song!!! Its just the dark before the morning….His mercies are new everyday. Thank you for such a positive and inspirational BLOG!! :o)
    .-= Debbie {50centlove}´s last blog ..My Baby is {EIGHTEEN} =-.

  • Reply Jake March 23, 2010 at 6:56 am

    I have to say, you’re pretty good at keeping in touch! I think we do need courage to make mistakes– fear of “losing” and “falling” will keep us from “playing” and climbing. Wonderful post! Great advice and it’s definitely something I need for this season!!
    .-= Jake´s last blog .. =-.

  • Reply Take The “What If” Challenge | Faith Barista April 15, 2010 at 12:39 am

    […] list I drew up one weekend.  I was sick and tired of being afraid all the time, accumulating regrets of what could have been, if only this or […]

  • Reply Looking for Answers (An Allegory) « Connecting to Impact July 22, 2010 at 2:58 pm

    […] post has been submitted to a blog carnival about “New Steps” over at FaithBarista.com. Go check it out for lots of great encouragement AKPC_IDS += "2969,";Popularity: unranked […]

  • Reply alice medina August 17, 2010 at 6:45 am

    You are trully an encourager 🙂

  • Reply The Best of Faith Barista 2010: The Top Ten | Faith Barista December 30, 2010 at 12:33 am

    […] 3. Fill That Glass Half Full:  The Golden Rules Of Fearless Living […]

  • Reply Cathy February 21, 2011 at 8:31 am

    Hi Bonnie! I can really relate with everything you’re writing. I feel like I’m reading words which I find hard to articulate. I feel like I’m reading what I might write on my journal. Makes me cry everytime…and brings me back to the feet of the Lord. Thank you so much!

  • Reply Wow. | Hope for the moment June 7, 2014 at 6:31 pm

    […] yesterday. Well the things I’ve been struggling with were outlined in black and white over at Faith Barista’s blog today! Now I don’t know her, so there’s no way she knew all I’m going through. […]

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