** Will You Vote For Me? ** I entered the today's post in The Million Miles Short Film Contest
and would appreciate your vote! The person with the most votes wins!
Everyone can vote once a day, every day until Fri 4/30/10.
Click To View My 90 sec Video & Vote "Thumbs Up" Now! I would be very grateful! Thank you!
Ah-ma and Me, on our back porch in Chinatown, San Francisco
It’s been said, “Life is a blank page. You must put something on it.”
But, what if you found yourself a minor character in someone else’s story?
Because of my mother’s fate, the script for my life was already written.
Believing that I had my own story to write – and breaking free to live it – that is my story.
A Mail Order Bride
It’s true, stories don’t happen by accident. They are planned.
Mine was planned by my mother — Ah-ma, a tender, fresh-faced seventeen year-old beauty who brought me into the world.
Six month old Me and Ah-ma
Ah-ma was a mail-order bride from Hong Kong, to a bus boy in San Francisco Chinatown. Ah-ma was the second of eight children back in Hong Kong. Because she was the second daughter, she was chosen by her parents to marry a stranger 10 years older.
Her parents sacrificed her happiness, for the greater good — to bring her family out of poverty and emigrate them to the land of opportunity.
They divorced when I was five.
The pressures she carried were then placed on me.
She constantly reminded me that I was all she had, that I was the one to take care and provide for her.
Ah-ma wanted me to live the same life she was given, to work hard for the greater good– to provide a life that was worry-free and make up for her sacrificed youth.
Who would want to break their mother’s heart and crush her dreams for a better life? …
I Worked Harder
From the time I was thirteen, I worked to help support the family.
When it came time for college, I dreamed of becoming a writer.
“A writer? You’ll die poor. We’ll die poor. Is that what you want?”
I worked harder… and became a well-respected, successful engineer.
And I was miserable.
More Than My Mother’s Daughter
One Christmas Eve, I heard a preacher say, Jesus came to give us hope.
“Hope,” I wondered, “Where’s my hope?”
For decades, I lived on duty and guilt, fulfilling my mother’s expectations. I saw no hope in my future.
Is this what God truly wants for me?
In that moment, I knew that living someone else’s story just couldn’t be what I was created for.
I decided, then —
“I am more than my mother’s daughter.
I am my Heavenly Father’s daughter.”
Knowing she would disown me, I made a decision to break free from Ah-ma’s story, to start living mine.
Not every one gets to choose the life they want —
There is pain in making the right choice. And it’s worth it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“For you created my inmost being;
You knit me together in my mother’s womb.
My frame was not hidden from you…
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
Your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.”
~Psalm 139: 13-16
~~~~~~~~~~~~
— I narrated and filmed my story on the streets of Chinatown, San Francisco– where I was born!
Watch today’s post as a video …
**Update** Read My Ongoing Story
After the contest ended, I decided to continue writing about my story and kicked off a new series, with a new installment every so often. Click here to see what happens next in my Going Off Script story.
** Will You Vote For Me? **
I entered today’s post in the The Million Miles Short-Film Contest!
I would be really grateful, if you’d check out my entry, dear friends!
~ CLICK HERE ~ View My Film Entry & Vote For Me!
(You can vote as many times you’d like, once per day, up until next Fri 4/30!)
… If you’d like to help me get out the vote (The entry with the most votes, wins!):
1. Facebook or Email today’s post:
Just scroll down and click “Share”.
2. Tweet out:
“VOTE For @TheBonnieGray ‘s Story In The Million Miles Short Film Contest (via @DonMillerIs) http://bit.ly/b3iWZs”
Thank you for giving me the courage to share my story!
You’ve kept me company here at Faith Barista through your comments, emails, and by simply reading. You’ve encouraged me to be real, with the stories you’ve shared. Thank you!
***********************
43 Comments
you are His daughter.
a royal princess.
a mighty warrior.
a holy priestess.
and he’s given you the gift of writing. im glad i am able to be able to receive from this gift He has given you.
keep on writing.
I love what Patricia said. You are the Kings Daughter and He gave you a vision for your own life! I look forward to watching your video and I’m enjoying your blog!
Thanks for remembering me and sending the feed registration again.
Have a great day!
Cherie
Wow! This brought me to tears. What a compelling story and testimony you have. I hope you win!
.-= 50centlove´s last blog ..Good Morning Tuesday! =-.
Simply beautiful.
Your story is my story in reverse.
I am an American girl who grew up thinking she had to earn love and acceptance by performance for decades.
And I am finding my own way now as a wife, mother, daughter of the King, and expat living in Hong Kong!
Keep writing!
Kim
This is so well written. I agree with 50centlove – brought a tear or two for me. Wishing you the best on your journey. You have such a beautiful gift! Thank you for sharing with us.
Awesome and inspiring video. Living our own story, the one that the Lord created us to live, is one of the keys to a fulfilling life. Thanks for sharing this with us. May the Lord continue to bless you as you live your story…for Him!
Peace!
.-= Fr. Michael´s last blog ..I Took the “What If” Challenge =-.
Wow! What a story! I loved it! I’m glad you’re writing and living out your life FOR YOU & FOR CHRIST!
God bless you!
My heart aches for the little girl you were and rejoices for the woman you’ve become. Your courage and faith are inspiring. Thank you!
.-= Shelli @ Hopefully Devoted´s last blog ..One Thousand Gifts :: Spring =-.
Wow, I wish I had known about this contest I might have given it a shot. I’m AMAZED at your video and so blessed that you shared your story. You are a writer!
.-= Kristine McGuire´s last blog ..Sharing Pearls =-.
So glad you broke free and became the writer you dreamed of being. Your words have encouraged me countless times.
I love how you write that you are not your mother’s daughter, you are your Heavenly Father’s daughter. That’s an important distinction – one I tend to forget.
.-= Rachel @ the science of music´s last blog ..signs of the times =-.
Bonnie, girl, you are beautiful through and through. I appreciate you more with every word.
.-= Susan@PrairieLilyArts´s last blog ..Music… A Story of the Heart =-.
Your video is very touching. . . and a story yet to end.
.-= Maureen (Mo)´s last blog ..Wednesday Wonder: Hissa Hilal =-.
Thank you for being here to encourage me this morning and surrounding me you’re your support! I can’t express how much this means to me…
@patricia: You’re gonna go and make me cry now! Those are names I’m learning to live… Thank you for speaking them to me…!
@Cherie: I’m so happy we’re back connected and sharing this day!
@50centlove: It’s been very emotional writing and filming this. Thnx for being here.
@Kim: Your story sounds incredible! Thnx for sharing. Where are you living in HK?
@aplaceforthoughts: It is a journey… walking through one step today. Thank you!
It’s been rather emotional and healing writing and filming. Thank you for steadying my heart this morning with your words!
@FrMichael: Thank you for the blessings! … Yes, we live for Him!
@Wanda: Thank you SO much. Thanks for taking the time to encourage me.
@Shelli: “My heart aches for the little girl you were and rejoices for the woman you’ve become.” I have had to grieve (and it still returns) for that little girl I was. Thank you for helping me rejoice today.
@Kristine: I wish I thought of that, too! Your story is SO powerful.
we spur one another to live for Him.
@Rachel: Learning to be His daughter has become my newest joy. The word “adopted” now can bring me to tears… lips trembling as I type.
@Susan: Thank you… You see why your “new shoes” post made me bawl? 😉
@Mo: Thank you for how you’ve continual encouraged me, sharing your thoughts here over and again. Thnx for watching the video.
Bonnie, I once saw wood carving of a logger carving himself out of a tree. Everything was free except his ankle and foot.
The tool in his hand setting him free is like the tool in your hands, setting you free. Truth told gracefully and hopefully.
Lovely.
.-= Kathleen Overby´s last blog ..Purple Pine Cones? =-.
Amazing video. touched the little girl in me and
inspired more strength, the strength you have
found, which to be sure was arrived at with some
pain. my little girl was the same little girl —
to be told “your all I have, you must care for
me” should be heard by no young child for
any reason. the video is very well done and
simple in it’s message. Must have been difficult
to summarize your life down to 90 seconds but
you did it and led the way to Christ as well.
you have my vote…blessings to you, an inspiration.
Writing your OWN story…I believe there is within each of us that special gift…thing…God put there for us to share with the world that will help set us free. Others will try to use it…some get caught and used…forced to be a pawn in someone else’s escape, but is this God’s dream for each of us? I don’t think so. But…it takes courage to push away what others may want or think SHOULD be and finally BE what it is you were meant to be…to live from your own heart. My prayer for you and for me and of course for all of us…is that we all have that courage…we all take God’s hand and ask HIM to lead us to the place where we can be free to be all we were meant to be. Thanks for the illustration of your courageous life…it offers encouragement for the rest of us struggling to be free.
Wow, very tremendous story. I have a deeper appreciation for your writing now (and I already was pretty fond of it to begin with). I also understand why you can tell that there’s so much heart put into your posts. Just…wow. Thanks for sharing this, Bonnie!
.-= brett barner´s last blog ..On Letting Your Creative Projects Die…and Omelets =-.
Thank you for sharing your story. It is a powerful one. I hope that others are impacted the way that I was impacted understanding the adversity you had to navigate through in your life. It is inspiring.
Bonnie, you are my hero!
I love your story of courage. I loved the video and will vote for you tomorrow when the voting begins. I also posted it on my Facebook page and encouraged others to view it and to vote.
Hugs,
Debbie
.-= Debbie´s last blog ..Wednesday’s Walk ~ Butchart Gardens =-.
Social comments and analytics for this post…
This post was mentioned on Twitter by Doallas: RT @gyoung9751: Going Off Script: Finding My Story, new post by @TheBonnieGray at Faith Barista http://bit.ly/cYvhvG…
Bonnie…beautiful. This is such an inspiring story. What you have gone through to be ministering here is remarkable. I am late to cheer you on, but I do it whole-heartedly. Thank you for telling this.
Going to see your video!
Bonnie,
I really enjoyed your film. I’m still in awe of your ability to so succinctly capture it in 90 seconds… wow!! But even more, I’m amazed at how God works and how He continues to redeem the lives of those who seek Him, no matter what they’ve been through. Thanks for sharing something so close to the core of who you are and thanks to God for another story for the ages. Soli Deo Gloria!
Voted and shared on facebook – you deserve to win this one.
Thanks for sending the email to vote. It is a beautiful film and story. You did a great job. Going to (in)courage to read the rest.
My eyes are leaking reading this. I must say Bravo! to you. I so wish I had had the courage to break away at the age of 17 when I made a very poor choice. Your bravery is amazing! I’m now living for me but it was a long and difficult road.
Thank you for sharing! I really hope you win ~
Brightest blessings,
Pat
.-= Pat´s last blog ..~ Do, Be, Laugh, Love ~ =-.
Bonnie – the synchronicity of God! To watch your excellent short film this evening and get the point of your story when just this morning I was praying, after reading a few more pages of Joyce Meyer’s excellent book “Simple Prayer” . I asked God a simple question, “Why do I think so small?” (for that read, live my life so small). He immediately answered me. “Because I am not your God…”. What the?! As usual, when God speaks to me he is 100% honest. He continued (as if I neeeded round 2 so quickly); “…he is your God.” I did not have to ask God who that “he” is. I knew. It is my dad. Same as you with your Mum Bonnie. Same story, different parent and differnt part of the world. I have not really left my earthly father behind for my heavenly Father. Not yet, even after almost a lifetime of beieng a Christian. I looked around as this sunk in. I saw the beautful mountains near where I was walking with my dog when this happened. “See what I can make. Just a small sample of my creativity.” God continued. “Let me do something like that in your life.” Let me be your God He was saying. I love this revelation from Him! Nothing new I know as jesus said the same thing (but was I listenting?). Yet, at the same time, it is all new seeing my life this way even since this morning. Everything is diffferent, beautiful and new, full of possibilities and promise when I just let any other god go and let Him be my God. Thank you for your film Bonnie and an even bigger thank you God.
Dear Bonnie,
Your email took me to the video, a vote on your behalf, and a guess at what was going on, due to my deafness.
Your personal response (@Keystone) a short while later, directing me to read….what I can not hear, garnered a second vote from me this evening. I am grateful to know the story.
Our secrets oftentimes bring not only US, but others we come in contact with, or love, a wee bit closer to Our Lord. Your revelations have done precisely that for many.
Secrets conceal. Secrets revealed create truth and trust. And HE is Truth, and Trust!
Both words are similar in American Sign Language.
May all of our secrets be so successful in moving folks closer to Him.
And may you win in the video votes.
Blessings,
Keystone
Ps. Chinatown, San Francisco is one of my favorite visiting spots. I enjoy it immensely every time out West. I just got back from Jerusalem, and the Sea of Galilee, along with all Israel and Jordan. I will think of you the next time I am in Chinatown…..and your momma too!
Wow. Amazing video. Thank you for sharing. Looking forward to hearing more of your story.
.-= Amy Nabors´s last blog ..There are times… =-.
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This is so wonderful Bonnie. I’m so thankful you shared this. I’m only living my story in the last 6 years now. I’m the oldest and a child of divorce as well. Same pressures here. No regrets, the past is still processing into present blessings. I’m becoming more of who He’s made me.
I’m so thankful you broke free. I’m growing and set free by many of your faith shots. Woohoo!!! Thank You Jesus. You have made us FREE!!!
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2 Cor 12:14 Behold, the third time I am ready to come to you; and I will not be burdensome to you: for I seek not yours, but you. For the children ought not to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children.
And God wants us to obey our parents in order to live longer.
Eph 6:2 Honor thy father and mother (which is the first commandment with promise)
Eph 6:3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
Bonnie this is so deeply touching. Wow…no wonder you are such a woman of faith.
[…] help but draw parallels into my own personal battle — with hurtful words from my childhood, ministry hardships, and my family of […]
Wow, I am experiencing a time in my life where I am looking deep at my faith and making it real for me. In the process, it has meant that my parents have been hurt that I don’t live up to their expectations. I must live my life before my creator, not their lives before their creator.
Your words spoke to me! Thank you for waking me up just a bit more!!!
I want to remember what you said here……
“Not every one gets to choose the life they want —
There is pain in making the right choice. And it’s worth it.”
Thanks bunches! Darlene