Sometimes we live as if faith were a project to check off. Recovering from spiritual burnout is key in recapturing a life of joy.
When you’ve got two small kids under the age of five, every morning is a scene stolen from the movie, GroundHog Day.
Like clockwork, the TJ-and-CJ alarm goes off right before sun up. Hubby and I roll out of bed, and like well-programmed robots, shuffle downstairs to the kitchen, extract slices of bread from the freezer, and pop them in the toaster.
On this morning, I was ambitious. I wanted my toast just right and took a walk on the wild side. Without relying on the preset time controls, I went manual, so I could pop the toast, right at the cusp of being burnt. The perfect shade for melting butter and sweet blackberry jam.
I overestimated my breakfast skills. I got lost checking my email and tweets on the kitchen laptop and plumb forgot about the toast!
Three year old TJ had been waiting patiently at the table for his morning grub, but now he was starting to lose it.
“MOOOOOMMMEEE! I’M HUNGRY! Is my breakfast ready?!”
TJ is the kind of kid you do not want hungry. So, with the flick of the wrist, I scraped the burnt toast, sending black crumbs into the sink. Slapped on butter and jam– and served it right up.
“Here, TJ. Eat this first and I’ll scramble up some eggs.”
As I start heating up the frying pan, TJ shouts an inquiry,”Hey, Mommy. Is this toast burnt?”
“Why? Does it look burnt? … Just eat it, TJ… It’s good!” I’m walking the fine line between confessing the truth and lying by omission.
TJ isn’t so convinced.
“No, Mommy. It’s not good. It smells bad… It smells burnt.“
As I dumped the cardboard-like toast, I was reminded how I sometimes handle my faith walk the same way.
New Bread for Renewing Faith
Recovering from spiritual burnout is key in recapturing a life of joy.
We try to live life as if faith were a project, with goals to check off.
Before you know it, we lose the spring in our faith step, going through the motions, borrowing our joy from yesteryears.
We smell like burnt toast.
It’s easy to scrape off the burnt crumbs of our self-driven lives and look like we’re doing just fine. We might even tell ourselves it’s good enough to just get by.
It’s time to try some new bread.
Ways I detox from spiritual burnout:
1. Fast from doing things out of obligation. Feast on doing things out of love.
This is a big one for me. Sorta comes with the territory being the oldest child with a single parent upbringing. What little we do out of love outweighs the big things we might attempt without it.
“Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law.” Romans 13:8
2. Unplug from saying “yes”, when I really should say “I’m sorry. I’m gonna have to pass. Thank you!” Smile. Breathe. Change the subject and talk about the weather.
“But let your statement be, `Yes, yes’ or `No, no’; anything beyond these is of evil.” Matthew 5:37
3. Opt to spend time with just a few friends over big group social activities.
Jesus was around crowds a lot, but He always made sure to spend time with a few of his peeps: Mary, Martha, and Lazarus. And don’t forget about Peter, John, and James.
“A man of {too many} friends {comes} to ruin, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24
4. Enjoy alone activities that feed your soul.
Whenever I take the time to be alone, it feels like a soothing breeze that blows through the house on a quiet day. Whether it’s reading, taking a nature walk or just sitting on a park bench with a cup of java, it’s all good.
God is the one “who richly supplies us with all things to enjoy”. 1 Timothy 6:17
5. Is this productive or fruitful activity? I choose fruitfulness.
Sure, I can do it, and the results might look great. But, what spiritual fruit would I be planting seeds for?
“I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit –fruit that will last.” John 15:16
6. Make loving Jesus the only priority.
This is my ultimate litmus test whenever I consider adding or taking something off my plate.
Does X help me love Jesus more or does it diminish my energy or desire to do so?
I don’t care how spiritual the wrapping an activity or endeavor might look. If it minimizes my love relationship with God, then it’s not for me.
“I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:14
Care to share your burnt toast stories? I’d love to hear them!
Which of the 6 Spiritual Detox Methods sound good to you today?
Today's post was previously published on Faith Barsita. I thought it would be a great way to follow up on Friday's post on spiritual burnout: When the Journey Is Too Much (Your Story Part 1) We're in the middle of a new series, Living Your Story. So, jump on board -- SUBSCRIBE NOW to get the next post in these series and more from FaithBarista hot and fresh directly in your mailbox via email (click here) or RSS (click here) news reader.
13 Comments
I LOVE this analogy and all of the suggestions for burnout. I think the one I tend to choose most when I’m experiencing one of those times is to enjoy activities which feed my soul. I sit quietly and listen to music or scripture on CD. I take a walk in my yard and pray. Basically, I do any thing which allows me to quietly enter the presence of God and just rest.
.-= Kristine McGuire´s last blog ..Called of God =-.
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Being alone is a good one for me. Freeing myself from people’s expectations of me, whether that’s leaving an obligation that I don’t love or being honest about my burned-toast-ness, is huge. And doing things that refresh and renew my relationship with Jesus, such as good books, music, and being in his beautiful creation, usually help me the most. These things are basically a way of getting quiet and away from the pressure.
Ooh, the question you pose in #6 is one that I need to ask myself again and again; and the quote is excellent. Thank you for challenging me with this.
This is a great post! I love the burnt toast analogy. All of these suggestions are good, but I am especially drawn to fasting from doing things out of obligation. There are just so many obligations when you are homeschooling three kids and trying to blog as well. I fasted this weekend from the blog (I like putting it that way!) so the family could just spend time together rather than having me hunched over the computer for several hours, saying “Just a minute, almost finished….” as the kids plaintively ask me to read out loud to them (our evening tradition) or watch a video together (our occasional evening tradition). This weekend I decided to be with them and even got in some evening flower bed prep with my husband and daughters. It was great, but as I am such an all-or-nothing person, I worry that skipping three days in a row of blogging spells the end!
.-= Julie Benner´s last blog ..Look For The Gold (As A Man Thinketh…) =-.
How funny! When I get burnout I tend to pull away versus taking steps to combat it. Great suggestions. I need to put them into practice. I think “make loving Jesus the priority” is the most challenging. Funny, it’s also the most rewarding. 🙂
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..A Rhyme without Reason =-.
Definitely #4 and #6. In fact, #4 (an activity that feeds the soul), helps to deepen #6 (loving Jesus). It’s in the quiet that our love for Jesus is fueled.
Thanks Bonnie!
.-= Fr. Michael´s last blog ..A Pipe and a Prayer =-.
Great post! I smelled of burnt toast last week. I choose the bookends: #1 a d #6 – being motivated by love flows from my choosing to prioritze loving Jesus.
.-= Donna´s last blog ..Gratefulness is flowing from my heart… =-.
You’ve described me to a tee! I am a sorry piece of burnt toast.
Recently, I have run headlong into a brick wall of burn-out and collapsed in a state of sheer exhaustion. This is only a metaphor; few of my friends actually know how weary and withered I feel inside. Did I mention I’m a pastor’s wife? Over the last year, church has become a job instead of a joy for me. I took on too much – partly due to expectations of others and partly due to my own lack of good sense and minimizing my need for healthy margin. Many of my responsibilities have wound down for the year, but I’m not bouncing back like usual. I’m as useless and lifeless as a piece of burnt toast! My soul aches for recovery.
Thank you for the good words to ponder. I especially liked the idea of fruitfulness versus productivity.
Beautiful words and yes, challenging. I usually go within and be quiet…and remember to thank Him for my life and every day blessings.
Your posts on rest are such a blessing to me. I need to work on the 1st two. I have way too many things on my plate, but don’t know what to say ‘no’ to. I have started to say that magic word, but then the guilt comes. I also need to make number 4 a priority. I used to make time for this often, but now it seems to be on the fly. REST is my theme for this year and I am trying to make some time for it every single day.
Hi Bonnie! I know this is an old post but I really need this right now…
I served as a full-time staff in a big church for over a year and then moved last year to the church which my Dad began to pastor (which was new and smaller). I got quite burned out after a year of serving in my previous church because I was attending like 7 services a week (to look after technical and production stuff). At one point, I felt like I had *too much* of church. I really didn`t want to go to church anymore. I couldn`t stand church programs at all! I just want to go into the mountains and pray.
What I really “craved” for was silence and to be in the middle of creation to just commune with God. I really love the fact that God has brought me into a smaller church and people can get spontaneous. We sometimes do our youth service outdoors and we allot time so everyone can spend time alone with the Lord. This has refreshed me and helped me in my process of healing.
Thanks for sharing! God bless you!
Wow. So rarely do we hear such grace expressed from other Christians. I just read another article on burnout which said “don’t break your promises”. Well that’s exactly how I got where I am now, leaving full-time ministry and feeling so bleh about God. I look forward to reading more from you.