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The Bible says there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Why would we be motivated by feelings of guilt rather than grace?
Some people dream of gold paved streets and flying around like Peter Pan when it comes to enjoying heaven one day. One of the eternal amenities I’m looking forward to is living in a dust-free zone.
I was really young when I got my back pricked in a matrix like sequence. That was nothing compared to the fire that broke out on my skin in rows as the lab technician dropped bombs of allergens into each micro-pinhole. In less time it takes for a bagel to get toasted, I sported a painful set of reddened dots that made me walk around like the hunchback of Notre Dame.
That’s how feelings of guilt make me feel.
Guilty feelings are free agents that float around like dust. They are hard to avoid over extended periods. Just like dust appears from nowhere but can be found anywhere, feeling bad about something I did, didn’t do or did wrong easily clings to my conscience.
I beat myself up.
I replay my mistakes.
I waste enormous amounts of energy re-enacting how I could have done it differently.
I feel bad. I feel that I am bad.
I try to shake off those feelings of guilt, but they can ferociously settle right back. No matter how hard I try.
That is my problem with feeling guilty — I try to get rid of them.
Why It’s Hard To Let Go of Guilt
One of the reasons it’s hard to let go of our guilty feelings is that it feels safe. We are our own boss and we can solve our own guilt. We can pay for our mistakes or live with them and owe nothing to no one.
We’re used to dealing with guilt the same way we handled our imperfections before we met God:
– Hide or pretend they didn’t bother us.
– Used fear or punishment to motivate our corrective actions or behaviors.
– Rebel against anyone or anything that tried to control us.
– Get depressed, live with regret.
We may be motivated by guilty feelings out of habit, as a learned response and also as a preferred choice.
Beautiful and Hard Grace
As Christians, we changed. We received a new nature. We became loved, someone Jesus paid for our wrongs with His sacrifice. We are forgiven. Our new life motivates us to live under continual grace.
Grace is beautiful and free, but it is hard for us independent-prone people to practice. It’s even harder to believe something so unconditional and lavish would actually endure and not go away. It is difficult to live under grace because it means we can no longer make-up for our mistakes. God calls us to simply accept His forgiveness and live in gratitude to Him.
Giving thanks requires more faith than merely speaking this phrase during the month of November.
Giving thanks means I have to let go of trying to fix the past –– and start focusing on the changes God wants me to make in the future.
Being thankful calls me to live as beloved and favored child through my Heavenly Father’s eyes –– rather than holding an angry or frustrated attitude towards my imperfections.
Gratitude stops being used as generic church lingo and becomes a heartfelt, confident prayer — as I stop trying to meet other people’s standards and start responding to God’s love and acceptance.
Guilty Feelings Do Not Come From God
Before we belonged to God, the Holy Spirit was used to convict us of sin (John 16:7-17). But, once the Holy Spirit started living inside of us, Jesus said it was given to us as a gift–
— As a Helper.
“I will send the Helper to you… When the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all the truth.” John 16:7-17
— To lead us in the truth and freedom from the Law (not accuse us of our wrongs). John 16:14, Gal 5:16
“It is for freedom that Christ set us free. Therefore.. do not be subject again to the yoke of slavery.” Gal. 1:1,16-18
— Helps us in our weakness and prays for us when we can’t (who does not condemn us or punish us).
“…the Holy Spirit helps our weaknesss.. the Spirit Himself interceeds for us with groanings too deep for words. He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.” Rom.8:16, 26, 27
Just as dust is a continual allergen, feelings of guilt can threaten our well-being. The truth is that guilt doesn’t have a place in heaven. Grace, on the other hand, lives on into eternity. It’s mind-boggling we are given a choice to choose. It is an inspiring and motivating gift we’re given to open everyday. Or not.
“Yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry,
but because your sorrow led you to repentance.
For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us.
Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret,
but worldly sorrow brings death.”
The Apostle Paul, 2 Corinthians 7:9-11
What has encouraged you to shake off feelings of guilt?
What do you think causes us to operate out of guilt rather than grace?
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*** NOW, IT’S YOUR TURN — FAITH BARISTA JAM! ***
Faith Barista Jam Thursdays — I serve up a topic of faith, you write the post. Keep faith fresh with a faith prompt and add your voice to this community.
Today’s topic: Shaking Off Feelings of Guilt
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Next week’s 11/11 Topic: How Is God Setting You Free?
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32 Comments
Thanks, Bonnie.
This is a wonderful reminder of the grace what Jesus’ redemptive price has paid.
.-= Kissie´s last blog ..The Ultimate Rock =-.
Thanks, Kissie!
This is a great topic for me, Bonnie, because I can live too “guilty” at times, which I should be living under grace all the time. So I’ll look forward to reading around today.
I relate so much to what you say:
“Just like dust appears from nowhere but can be found anywhere, feeling bad about something I did, didn’t do or did wrong easily clings to my conscience.”
“Grace is beautiful and free, but it is hard for us independent-prone people to practice.”
Blessings to you for sharing these thoughts with us. May God give us all the grace itself to better accept his grace.
.-= Lisa notes…´s last blog ..What is stronger than guilt =-.
I can’t wait to read all the brews, too! I like your title… got me curious. 😉
[…] […]
Awesome topic! Like so many people I struggled with guilt for a long time until I understood it was undermining my relationship with my Savior. The enemy loves to keep us mired up in guilt when God wants us to walk every day in freedom.
Yes! Freedom is the opposite of guilt…
GREAT news Bonnie!! Thanks for your motivation and inspiration to let go of the chains that entangle us!!
I’m off for a busy week- end (and weekend) with a Women’s Conference AND Mission’s series at church (that I’m up to my elbows in) AND a workshop for our Missionary Care Team Leaders and Workers! IT’S EXCITING, I’m FULL of ANTICIPATION to hear the great speakers, and still have work to do to get my ducks in a row. (sigh)
Praise God – His mercy is never ending – His perfect love never fails.
blessings!!
.-= marina bromley´s last blog ..Faith Barrista Jam- Shaking off feelings of guilt =-.
I’m so excited for you, Marina! Hope you return filled to the brim with encouragement.
The topic of guilt has been on my mind a lot in the last few weeks. God showed me that not only was I wallowing in guilt over legitimate wrongs I had done, but I felt guilty over things I had no control of. A friend missed her sister’s engagement party while babysitting for us, but she never mentioned her sister’s party. Still, I felt so guilty for “making” her miss it. Ugh…
So, the Faith Jam topic this week fit right in to a series I was already wanting to do on my blog. I’ve been talking about guilt and condemnation and conviction and grace. God has shown me new things about this topic, not only through my personal study, but through the comments of others. Your post today just built on it even more. 🙂 Thanks for hosting these each week, Bonnie. I love the community that has developed here.
.-= Melissa Brotherton´s last blog ..I don’t want to be a hypocrite =-.
Those “guilt attacks” are zingers.. and can strike when we least expect it. I love how you get specific and keep it real. How awesome God is speaking to us with the same message of grace vs. guilt! Can’t wait to read your brew, Melissa.
God is talking to me!! Its amazing. I just found Faith Barista this morning, and last night I posted an entire post on how I self-criticize, feel guilty, and tend to look at imperfections rather than thankfulness. How perfect that God put you in my path today! Im linking up my post from yesterday. What a blessing!
.-= Shauna Pearl´s last blog ..I Am A Cracked Pot =-.
That is awesome, Shauna! Thanks for sharing it here in the jam! Can’t wait to read. God is good!
Sometimes guilt comes because I live under what I perceive is expected of me. When I can’t meet that expectation, I feel like a failure. Once I realize my perception was distorted I can let go and live free! Only God can ever help me see that and help me move forward.
He’s so wonderful to never let anything be wasted. Every time. He teaches me again that all I have to be is who He’s made me.
Now if I can only stay in that…it’s a process. What an adventure!
Yes… expectations is definitely a guilt laden trap. It’s hard ‘cuz it’s the reality of living in this world, connecting in relationships. It takes wisdom to catch the difference and as you say, it is an adventure to venture with one hand in Christ’s!
It hit me while reading this post that I tend to think of guilt as enduring and grace as temporal, and that is backwards! Thank God that his grace endures and we don’t have to change the past. This is a great post for any time, but especially with Thanksgiving coming up.
“guilt as enduring & grace as temporal, and that is backwards!”
I love how you phrased this. And it is a motivating thought… how different life can be to lean into grace as enduring and know that feelings of guilt as temporal!
Sin, Satan, and the old Covenant, I think all help fuel my guilt. Those voices shout at me, my imperfections, my wrongs. I shake this off with the fact that now I live under grace, and there is now no condemnation and embrace this thought to live as freely as God purposes me to be
It’s the triple threat. For sure. Very easy to let the arrows of guilt slip through if we give these guilt feelings a seat as our guest!
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Melinda Lancaster, Monica Sharman, Sara xx, FaithBarista, BlessedBeyondMeasure and others. BlessedBeyondMeasure said: Great post on living in guilt/condemnation! Visit at http://bit.ly/8XQ769 […]
Way to go Faith B. You’ve dealt a blow to one of the greatest weapons of mass destruction to prevent and pervert the believer from moving forward and climbing upward. What helps me is to remember these words… “Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Phil. 3:13-14
.-= Doug Spurling´s last blog ..Pennies =-.
Love Phil. 3:13-14 — thanks for adding it to today’s post, Doug!
I liked this sentence:
“Grace is beautiful and free, but it is hard for us independent-prone people to practice.”
I know that guilt and independence are inherent parts of our sin nature. But, this also got me thinking, do other countries in the world struggle with guilt as much as we Americans do? I think our cultural love for “independence” and “individuality” really enforces that idea that “I can do anything”, such as save myself from myself! Maybe guilt is one of the “sins of the fathers” that are revisting 3rd and 4th generations in our nation.
Oh Bonnie, the timing on this is just funny. I was in the middle of writing my post when I saw someone tweet yours… It is lovely to be on the same page with someone, however willing I am of late to step out on my own.
You have encouraged me today.
.-= Kelly Sauer´s last blog ..Camellias – A Restless Heart Alive =-.
I’m so familiar with guilt. It seemed to shadow me everywhere for a number of years. Thankfully I evicted guilt…at least for the most part…it still occasionally pokes me in the ribs, but at least I try to examine it. Is it good guilt or bad guilt? Then, of course, I’m still struggling to realize my motivations for doing things. Is it love motivating me to do a ministry or is it guilt because I struggle with saying ‘no’ to people.
I seem to get myself in trouble with the ‘no’ part, but I’m learning. I’m learning to say ‘no’ and keep to the path God wants me to walk.
.-= Nikole Hahn´s last blog ..Gratitude =-.
Something Evangelicals often fail to do, is to find true (felt) relief from guilt in what James talks about: confess our sins to one another.
Do YOU have a Confessor?
Our brothers and sisters in Jesus can be used to show us God’s grace through the discipline of confession.
That’s the topic of my recent post.
I’d LOVE to hear what others of you think about it.
http://wp.me/pri9O-WY
.-= Lisa Colón DeLay´s last blog ..Can a Person Absolve your Sins Drum roll please… =-.
[…] Tomorrow’s Post: I’ll be posting on “How God is Setting Me Free” as part of this series and the series at Faith Barista. […]
Great post. I guilt myself into or out of everything. GRACE is what i need to embrace. Thank you!
Nearly 30 years ago I can remember wrestling with God over this issue because I had done things that were just too big to forgive (i.e., in my mind).
Then one Sunday morning, with the residual effects of this guilt hangover still bothering me, God spoke to me clearly: “Why do you remember what I have forgotten?”
That settled it. If I were someone in the book of Genesis, there would be a heap of stones there, erected as a memorial. I’ve never forgotten that.
.-= Dave Taylor´s last blog ..Jacob- The way back and the way forward =-.
Today was the first day of trying to set a time aside for spending with God. I set my Stumble button to Christian websites and thought that whatever popped up first I would meditate on with God. This was the site that came up. Beautiful post, I never thought about living guilt free. I know my sins are forgiven and I am saved but that earthly guilt does keep me tied down. It is a motivator for sure but you are right, it is not the Godly motivator that he wants for us. Thank you for your blog and such thought provoking words. May God bless you and your blog.
[…] by BridgetChumbley5. Change Vs. Convenience by Brett Barner6. Not Just a Number by Dusty Rayburn7. Are You Motivated by Grace or Guilt? Shake Off Feelings of Guilt by Bonnie Gray8. I love Jesus, but….. by Ryan Tate9. are.you.hurting? by herbhalstead10. […]
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