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Hitting The Wall: The Place of Need Is A Place of Rest

By Bonnie Gray • March 9, 2011 • 17 Comments

How we can clear enough of our stuff to make a place of soul rest?

As I shared yesterday, I have a practical need to clutter-free my home.  But ultimately, rest is an interior de-cluttering.

This soul de-cluttering cannot be done alone. We can never do it single-handed with our meditative dusters or well-intentioned buckets of will.

This is why Jesus provided Himself as our peace in our time of need.

Need is a place where I don’t want to go.

This is where I am weak, where I am broken, where I am nothing like what I want to be and where no one else may have use for me.

Trying to work my way from this place of need, I don’t even realize I’m that far away from you, Lord.

Until I hit my wall.

The Wall

The wall doesn’t have to be some big life tragedy or even any problem to complain about.

The wall can be that space in between.  We are spent because we haven’t allowed ourselves an inch to be human and to be divinely in need.

I call for God’s strength.  I cry out for a resolution.

I wait for God to send me His power, with one hand on the door knob, wanting to go and do my thing.

There Jesus stands, reposed with His arms outstretched.

“Come to me. What you need is me.”

I often wait for later tonight, but then I fall asleep.

I say tomorrow, sometime when I am in my right mind, when my heart is quiet and I’m no longer battling my will.

Meanwhile, I see myself drifting farther and father from my soul rest.

I need you right away. I need you right now.

Not later, not when I’m better, not when I’m worse.

I am worn. I am tired.

Lord, I turn from the doorway and I lose all inhibitions.

I throw myself, whole body, mind and emotions messy on you.

I collapse into your arms.

I need. I need. I need…

I rest.

“The LORD protects the simplehearted;
when I was in great need, he saved me.”
~ Psalm 116:6

~~~~~

Are you brushing up against that wall of need?

Jesus is here to provide a place of rest for you and me.

Share your thoughts on rest and need.

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~~~~~

I wrote today’s post after watching American Idol contestant Stefano Langone sing his “wild card” song — “Need You Now” by gospel singer Smokie Norful.   I was so moved by the lyrics, I wrote this prayer and spent some time in need with God. Here is a clip of this faith inspired song (Subscribers, click here).

Today's post is part of our ongoing March series on Whitespace:  Restoring Rest.

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17 Comments

  • Reply Katie March 9, 2011 at 2:52 am

    All I see around me is need…. I think I have hit the wall physically and emotionally and spiritually. Praying a similar prayer. Yet I see so much of God when I admit to him and others I have needs. And letting God and others see my needs and meet them is letting them love me where I am at.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray March 9, 2011 at 7:45 am

      Letting others in to love us is risk that Jesus Himself took every day. Thanks, Katie!

  • Reply Lisa H. March 9, 2011 at 3:07 am

    I seem to always be brushing up against that wall of need. I feel like I never step far enough away from it. I NEED to REST. I know this. I can’t seem to turn my brain off long enough to even get a grasp on it all. There are many things on my mind that prevent me from resting but I know who can help me. I just find myself going at it alone again, thinking I can do it when I know I can’t. It has been the pattern when I get this way that He is working in me-I wish I was an easier subject to work on instead of fighting all the time. I know how tiring it is to work with or try to do something to a patient that is all the time fighting what you are trying to do for them. (I’m a pediatric nurse). Its so much easier if they stop fighting and its usually less traumatic for them also. I’m fighting because now its as if he wants me to do this on my own, with him beside me of course, but without the people he put in my life to show me HOW to get through things. Now its up to me to do it. The things on my mind have been worked through at length with 2 very important women on each side of me. One is now in Alaska, the other is quiet. Something she does now and then. She usually says its God telling her to be quiet, she has nothing new to offer on this that hasn’t been said already. Numerous times. She’s still there for me just without any words. I fight that. Immensely. I need to rest. I need to fall into his arms and just let it all go. I am at that wall of need. I am very good at hiding behind walls, I’ve done it my entire life. I usually close myself into a neat little box with very tall walls. My experience when I’ve been at this point is that I’ve gone away for a day or two or even just seclude myself in my house for a weekend. NO other distractions. Just me, God, my Bible and my computer. I pray long and hard, I cry, I pray some more. I ask him to show me what he wants me to know more about and I read it in my Bible. And I write. I write whatever comes to mind. I write until there are simply no more thoughts to come out. And I pray some more. All I focus on is Him. I usually read “My heart, Christ’s home” also when I do this. Its a reminder to me, he wants all of me. Even the stuff hidden in the upstairs hall closet of my mind or my heart. I think I need to pull that out again……sorry for rambling. I just realized how long this comment has become!

    • Reply Bonnie Gray March 9, 2011 at 7:46 am

      Lisa, thanks for sharing so transparently your heart, which IS Christ’s home.

    • Reply Teresa March 9, 2011 at 9:32 am

      Lisa, when I read your comment, I felt inspired. There is someone out there like me. Thank you.

  • Reply Attuning Hearts March 9, 2011 at 5:26 am

    That’s where I’m at. Total need. A brother challenged me to give myself time to let God heal me. (I’m a counselor and am trying to start a practice to heal others. It’s not working.) I’ve been going to my own counselor who is using the Lord’s Presence to guide and show, etc. I’m journaling to talk to Him. Yesterday and this morning I am thinking about Psalm 38:9 that says he knows all our desires and groaning. I am hoping I can LET Him heal me. I am hoping I am moving from achieving to relationship – valuing Him more than what He can do for me. Never been there before. Always had mindset of getting/acheiving something to make me feel significant. Waiting. Hoping.
    Doug

    • Reply Bonnie Gray March 9, 2011 at 7:47 am

      That letting God in is hard work and heart work that Jesus values and will respond to. Thanks for your words, Doug.

  • Reply Dee March 9, 2011 at 6:25 am

    Most of us fly through life like on jet skis across the glittering sound. There’s so much to do…so many needs…so many heartaches. I know when I get so busy that I push away my quiet time that it’s not right, but I get caught in the jaws of excitement and the pressure of my own ‘to do’ list and time is running out. Yes…you got it…then I hit the wall and slide down hard on my behind. I’ve tossed ‘I love you, Lord!’ over my shoulder as I fast forward into my life trying to slay inner dragons on my own. And as I sit there leaning against the wall, I remember who’s I am and who I really need…and yes how to trust. I’m just so thankful he never forgets my name and is always there to catch me. I’m resting now and more insights and solutions project ahead. More prayers–the big ones–are getting beautiful answers. Restless, pleading prayers said for years are now nurturing a bloom instead of grieving blight. Thank you, Lord.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray March 9, 2011 at 7:48 am

      Dee, “restless, pleading prayers said for years are now a bloom instead of grieving blight.” This is beauty – faith in real life.

  • Reply David Rupert March 9, 2011 at 6:51 am

    I have hit that wall of doubt and anxiety and I just didnt know where to turn. My friends were no help. My family had their own issues. The only place I could go was to The Rock. And He is all about simplicity. Instead of “more” He’s all about less….

    • Reply Bonnie Gray March 9, 2011 at 7:48 am

      David, this is what I love about your words. They are true, open and point us to Christ. Thank you.

  • Reply Jennifer March 9, 2011 at 9:19 am

    “We are spent because we haven’t allowed ourselves an inch to be human and to be divinely in need…I wait for God to send me His power, with one hand on the door knob, wanting to go and do my thing.”

    I relate to this so well. It seems like I get on the edge of crazy before I realize I have worn myself weary. However, it isn’t until that wall appears that I HAVE to let go. It’s either fall into His embrace or stay stuck in my weariness, slamming against that wall and going no where.

    Thanks, Bonnie

  • Reply Teresa March 9, 2011 at 9:34 am

    Thank you Bonnie. I always find myself running into the wall instead of running to Christ. Today I am so worn down and reading your words brings tears to my eyes. Why don’t I turn around? Why am I continually runnning back into the wall?

  • Reply jasonS March 9, 2011 at 11:18 am

    Wonderful words today (as always). Clutter has to be dealt with in its place (physical, mental, spiritual, whatever). One may contribute to another, but they are always in some degree separate. I’ve also found it very true that it’s not necessary for a major tragedy or crisis to get things in order, but we have to be submitted and surrendered to the Holy Spirit to speak and encourage and correct. Thanks so much, Bonnie!

  • Reply Nikole Hahn March 9, 2011 at 1:02 pm

    I’m hitting that wall right now. Creativity is just beyond it, but I can’t reach it. The time is going so slowly. All I want to do is to crawl home, curl up with my afghan on the couch, and rest in Jesus’ arms with the world shut away.

    Ugh.

    Oh yes. Even this cheerful person can hit that wall.

  • Reply Sherry March 9, 2011 at 1:26 pm

    I’ve been at that wall for a while now. I stay at home with my 3 and 4 year old kids and I seriously don’t get a minute of quiet all day. Not a single minute. I need to get creative with how to spend time with God!!

  • Reply Bev McDougal March 9, 2011 at 7:01 pm

    I find myself staring at the wall, not daring to go close to the door, not seeking a window, and fearful of climbing over. I know all I am to be in Christ is waiting for me on the other side, but, for now, I can’t go there. Jesus, sweet Lord, is beside me, encouraging me to knock, turn the knob, climb through the window or scale to the top. In fear, I do not hear. My need, to hear, my need, to act, to trust, and to obey. Then the wall will crumble, and me, in Christ, will be standing there, welcoming me.

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