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A Tribute: Sara’s Song & Why It’s Hard To Say Goodbye

By Bonnie Gray • September 18, 2011 • 40 Comments

I got the news like a thud in the night.

Except this wasn’t my disorganized closet imploding on itself.

It’s my Jesus-fragranced friend.

It’s Sara.

Earlier this week, I opened up Jessica’s email.  It read —

Beloved sisters,
With tears running down my cheeks for hours, I write this note with a heavy heart... Our sister Sara will be home in heaven soon…

I had just seen Sara over Skype at the (in)courage beach house retreat — five days earlier. 

Sara’s Song

I met Sara over a virtual chat in February this year. We had just finished an (in)courage conference call but a small few of us stragglers stayed in the chat room afterwards.

I confided I’d love some prayer. I felt discouraged.  I was starting a special writing project when my barely two year-old and five-year-old started going through a spasm of night wakings.  By the time night would fall, which was often my writing time, the lack of sleep combined with the 24×7 demands of parenting drained me of creativity.

My need for encouragement was the beginning of Sara’s song in my life.

Her Body, But Not Her Joy

Sara’s song has been singing years before I met her online.

Sara’s song began when a painful disease cast her homebound in her condo since she was 29 years old (read about her illness here).

Sara could.not.go.

Outside.

Sara could only move within the boundaries of the four walls of her condo.

As her disease progressed, Sara could not see any visitors.  The allergens that could enter in — could also kill her.

Even though she was sick, Sara’s spirit was not bound by walls.

Her song of joy through her words — leaped free and boundless.

Sara’s song reached deep into hearts everywhere.

Sara started singing words of joy into my life.

Sara’s Voice

Even though I’d never heard Sara’s speaking voice up until last week at the beach house, Sara voice has soared beautifully where only she could speak into.

Sara began emailing me every couple weeks to encourage me to work on my writing project.  No matter how slow I felt my progress.

Pressing keys on her iPad through pain,  Sara’s generous heart and her commitment to encourage others could not be arrested.

Here are words Sara sent to me, just one month ago:

“I recently wrote in a post what I said to my Uncle Barney who was feeling bad about not being able to use his talents anymore because of his cancer…

 

I told him that he used them when he was supposed to. And if those things were no longer in his abilities, then they were no longer what God wanted him to do.

 

You know, Bonnie, I think the same could be said for being a mom and still trying to be all God called you to be as an individual.

 

There is such pressure to do everything to its limits, when all you need to do is do everything to YOUR limit… to the limit God gives inside of you.“

Last week over Skype, I got to hear Sara’s real speaking voice for the first time, huddled around a laptop, along with the rest of our (in)courage sisters.

Photo from Jessica’s blog, showing us thrilled to see Sara

I burst into tears hearing, at long last, her beautiful Jesus-fragranced voice.

“Bonnie!” Sara squealed.

“Sara!  I love you!” I shouted among the the chorus of “I love you’s” ringing from all the other women Sara has sang her song of joy into.

Sara laughed and couldn’t stop encouraging each of us one by one. We were so happy to see her. Her joy was infectious even over Skype!

Open Letter To Sara

Sara is now resting under hospice care at home, with friends and family gathering by her side.

Our sweet joy-singing Sara has run the race well.

Sara is now looking homeward.

Everyone is now writing blog posts and posting Facebook messages to Sara, so that her family can read them to Sara in her remaining waking moments.

I’d like to write an open letter to Sara now.

Dear Sara,

I have to be honest. It’s hard to say goodbye. Your friendship is such a treasure. And we’ve only just begun.

But, I know you are at rest and completely at peace facing Heaven, homeward bound.

So, as you are waiting, I want you to know —

Thank you for singing your song of joy so brightly and beautifully into my life.

Thank you for singing it, even as it is mixed with illness and pain.

You are a gift

— inspiring me to choose joy

— encouraging me to welcome joy as an attitude by trusting God with my limitations.

You know that writing project you’ve been praying for me to complete?

Good news.  It’s not only done.  It’s singing.

Thank you, Sara, for loving us so well.

Sweet friend, I’d like to sing a song for you right now.  Can I?

It’s that hymn I emailed you a couple weeks ago.  It’s brought me such comfort and joy throughout the years, ever since I heard it as a little girl.

This song reminds me of you, Sara.

Click here to hear me sing to you — “All The Way My Savior Leads Me”.

I can’t wait to sing it with you together one day.  For now, I’ll say goodbye and see you soon.   Love you.

Your sister, Bonnie

I’m just one of hundreds of letters already written by people who Sara has inspired, waiting to be read.

Even if she doesn’t get to hear mine read here on earth, I know Sara will read it — along with others — walking freely with Jesus hand in hand.

If you’re a reader of Sara’s blog — or even if you’ve been touched by her story through today’s post — feel free to write about it and submit it to Jessica’s link up — or post a Facebook message on Sara’s wall.

Sara’s family is reading through the posts/messages and gaining comfort and encouragement hearing how Sara touches lives everywhere.

* 9/24/11 UPDATE* Our sweet Sara Gitzen Girl went home to be with Jesus on Saturday 9/23/11 (read update here). Click here for the arrangements that have been made for the wake and funeral.

 

~~~~~~
Lyrics To “All The Way My Savior Leads Me” by hymn writer Fanny Crosby who was became blind when she was a little girl.

Verse 1.
All the way my Savior leads me;
What have I to ask beside?
Can I doubt His tender mercy,
Who through life has been my Guide?
Heav’nly peace, divinest comfort,
Here by faith in Him to dwell!
For I know, whate’er befall me,
Jesus doeth all things well;
For I know, whate’er befall me,
Jesus doeth all things well.

Verse 2.
All the way my Savior leads me,
Cheers each winding path I tread;
Gives me grace for every trial,
Feeds me with the living Bread.
Though my weary steps may falter,
And my soul athirst may be,
Gushing from the Rock before me,
Lo! A spring of joy I see;
Gushing from the Rock before me,
Lo! A spring of joy I see.

Verse 3.
All the way my Savior leads me
O the fullness of His love!
Perfect rest to me is promised
In my Father’s house above.
When my spirit, clothed immortal,
Wings its flight to realms of day
This my song through endless ages—
Jesus led me all the way;
This my song through endless ages—
Jesus led me all the way.

joytrust

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40 Comments

  • Reply Barbie September 18, 2011 at 2:46 am

    Oh Bonnie, this is so beautiful. How blessed you are to have met Sara in person, if even through the computer. She has touched so, so many lives. She has forever marked my heart. Every time I am reminded of the deepness of the Lord’s joy, I will think of her. She truly is a gift.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray September 18, 2011 at 4:49 pm

      Barbie, it’s so powerful how God touches lives even online. Faith and friendship know no boundaries.

  • Reply Sandra Heska King September 18, 2011 at 7:34 am

    There is such pressure to do everything to its limits, when all you need to do is do everything to YOUR limit… to the limit God gives inside of you.“

    Oh how I needed that today, sweet friend.

    Sara’s melody continues in each of us as we choose joy and sing in the midst of every circumstance. What a gift. What a fragrance she leaves. Praying it clings to me.

    Love you, girl.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray September 18, 2011 at 4:51 pm

      Me too, Sandy. Sara’s words speaks to me right where I live in the everyday.

  • Reply Beth Werner Lee September 18, 2011 at 11:23 am

    Bonnie, I didn’t realize it was Gitzen Girl that was Sara when I read Lisa-Jo’s post on Friday! Thank you for writing that. Your post here is so helpful, loving, wise. Thank you, Bonnie.
    Here’s what I wrote over at (in)courage:
    We are memorizing James, my daughter and I, for her school work, and the passage for this coming week includes that the rich should glory in their low position because like the grass they will die…to glory in our death. This at a time when the blogging community is preparing for Sara’s death (and I said, “Who?” until I read Bonnie’s post that it was Gitzen Girl!). Somehow remembering that we will die must free us from our wealthy trappings, from hoarding them, and enable us to give, to share, to see our oneness with the stranger. I’m working that out, but slowly.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray September 18, 2011 at 4:52 pm

      Beth, just beautiful. Sara will be reading and smiling from ear to ear. Thank you for always sharing straight from your heart.

  • Reply dunlizzie September 18, 2011 at 11:29 am

    Bonnie, this is beautiful and I don’t really know what to say, except that I wanted to say something… anything that could speak the heart of what I’m feeling as I read this. While I do not know Sara, I am humbly reminded of how grateful I am for the way God brings friends into our lives in all manners. I am especially thankful for how He holds our hands leading us through every season. And I am encouraged that He continues to speak to us and through us in every living (and yes, dying) breath as we let Him, our songs overlapping and joining in one glorious sound together. God bless you, friend.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray September 18, 2011 at 4:53 pm

      *sniff* *sniff* “He continues to speak to us and through us in every living (and yes, dying) breath as we let Him, our songs overlapping and joining in one glorious sound together. ” Dunlizzie, your words sing on behalf of our hearts in this moment. Thank you for your heart.

  • Reply Maria @ Linen & Verbena September 18, 2011 at 11:59 am

    Bonnie, I learned about Sara last week for the first time, and the impact this strong and courageous woman has had in my life in fourd days is something I will never forget. Last night as I wrote my tribute to her, I found myself having to stop and take a breath among the tears. And I was just stunned at how this story, of a woman that for all intended purposes is a stranger to me, has touched me. Your tribute to her is so beautiful and sincere… that now I have tears (of Joy) in my eyes.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray September 18, 2011 at 4:54 pm

      Maria – yes. Stunned.by.her.joy — and her life. Yes, thank you for shining your heart open for Sara.

  • Reply Katie September 18, 2011 at 12:36 pm

    Bonnie I am so sorry about your friend. What a wonderful letter of tribute to her. I probably read her over at incourage and did not even realize it.

    Praying for you and all who knew her and loved her. Thank you for sharing your heartache and joy with us! Thank you for always being so real.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray September 18, 2011 at 4:55 pm

      Thank you for being here, Katie, making it a place where I can continuing growing in community, friend.

  • Reply Robin Dance ~ PENSIEVE September 18, 2011 at 2:02 pm

    I’m smiling in the remembering of those precious moments, so thankful you carefully retold about them here. Intuitively we KNEW how important that time was, don’t you think? I know all of us were fighting tears…of joy and anguish, because it was obvious Sara was speaking through pain…though she never acknowledged it.

    She has been a steadfast voice of encouragement, and I KNOW instrumental in you finishing your project…so proud of you, Bonnie. So thankful to have met you in the flesh and blood, thrilled to have hugged your neck!

    So much to be joyful for, the good and the hard. Beautiful tribute to Sara. 🙂

    (Miss you!)

    • Reply Bonnie Gray September 18, 2011 at 4:56 pm

      Oh, sweet Robin. We were all just stunned to the core over her joy, weren’t we? Yes, we were speechless, teary-eyed over the beauty that drenched Sara and spilled over to us.We basked in silence, smiling over such broken-perfumed Jesus in Sara. Love and miss you, friend.

  • Reply Robin Dance ~ PENSIEVE September 18, 2011 at 2:03 pm

    Ooooo, and I LOVE that sassy picture Sara sent you! It made me smile all over again!! 🙂

    • Reply Bonnie Gray September 18, 2011 at 4:57 pm

      Oh, yes. Sassy and sweet. Oh, our Sara just makes us laugh!

  • Reply Robin Dance ~ PENSIEVE September 18, 2011 at 2:07 pm

    Ok…last comment…(sorry!).

    What a beautiful voice you have, Bonnie! I know you sang that for Sara, but I was blessed in the sharing of it! Your talents are boundless, friend :).

    • Reply Bonnie Gray September 18, 2011 at 4:58 pm

      Love learning to dance free like you, Robin! So blessed by you!

  • Reply Angela Nazworth September 18, 2011 at 2:27 pm

    Such a beautiful, beautiful tribute. I love you, Bonnie. Thank you for sharing this and for that fabulous picture of Gitz.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray September 18, 2011 at 4:59 pm

      Angela — Love you too. Faith has brought our paths to cross. I love how you open your lives to us, inviting us into where the tender places. Right where you’re at. Beautiful, courageous faith, you are, friend! ooxx

  • Reply Jennifer September 18, 2011 at 4:16 pm

    Beautiful. Sarah will be missed. Praying her peace as she prepares to see His face…Your song was lovely!

    • Reply Bonnie Gray September 18, 2011 at 5:00 pm

      *hugs* Jennifer!

  • Reply Amy @ Make me a Mary September 18, 2011 at 5:08 pm

    Beautiful post. How it hurts to lose those we love. This hymn you mentioned … I grew up singing it in church, but only really heard the words for the first time a couple of years ago when I suffered the tragic loss of my husband. So thankful the Lord Jesus has overcome death and this world’s not our home. As our hearts yearn for our true Home, may we run the race as your friend Sara has. Blessings to you.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray September 18, 2011 at 10:40 pm

      Amy, I feel right at home with you, sharing this beloved hymn together. I haven’t found many who know it. 😉 I can’t imagine the journey you’ve walked from the point of such tragedy in losing your husband to now. But, your words of thankfulness tell me Jesus has walked with you all the way. Thank you, for sharing such tender places, friend.

  • Reply cathleen September 18, 2011 at 5:16 pm

    What a beautiful tribute to our friend Sara! How perfect the words to the song! How sweet your voice! I will miss Sara very much….that’s not correct….I am already missing her. What she has taught me has helped me through what I am going through now. When we all get to heaven, what a day of rejoicing it will be!

    • Reply Bonnie Gray September 18, 2011 at 10:42 pm

      Cathleen — so happy to hear your “voice” here, friend!

  • Reply Angela W. September 18, 2011 at 7:50 pm

    Thank you for your words, Bonnie, and for sharing Sara’s to you. Through you today, she has sung again in my life. I needed to hear today what you both had to say. What an amazing way God weaves all our stories together. 2 Tim. 4:7,8 for Sara.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray September 18, 2011 at 10:42 pm

      Angela, so special to have you share in this moment. Thank you.

  • Reply Barbara September 19, 2011 at 12:11 am

    We all have some sort of cancer, some sort of obstacle in out lives. This was a beautiful story. Looks like y’all were blessed. I started chemo this week and able to count it all joy these trials that this world may bring. I know my Lord brings joy and that His banner over me is Love.
    Thanks y’all,
    Barbara
    @madreminutes

    • Reply Bonnie Gray September 18, 2011 at 10:43 pm

      Oh, Barbara. May Jesus give you His strength for all that is needed in your recovery, friend! Thank you for sharing right where you are.

  • Reply Candy September 18, 2011 at 10:45 pm

    Thank you, Bonnie, for such a beautiful tribute to our mutual sister-friend. I will miss her horribly, but Gitz leaves a legacy of grace with spunk, unfailing faith, and sheer joy. My heart is selfishly heavy, but know she’ll run with vigor to her dad and Father. And that has always been her dream.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray September 18, 2011 at 10:49 pm

      Such a beautiful reminder, Candy. Thank you. Although it’s so hard for us, who are left behind, missing our spunky faithful Gitz in the everyday, Sara will live her dream come true. I love how we’re here together, Candy, standing at the precipice of faith and friendship, as we wait together with Gitz. *hugs*

  • Reply Jane September 19, 2011 at 6:49 am

    Just signed up to join {in}courage and this was the first post I saw 🙂 What a precious tribute – LOVE that picture. Sara’s blog updates have greeted my inbox for awhile now and I have been so blessed by her. What an amazing example she has been to me of living for Christ wherever he has you. Seeing all of the comments on her page from so many people longing for God, cheering Sara on, and praising Him through this makes me look forward to Heaven that much more.

  • Reply Hazel Moon September 19, 2011 at 12:49 pm

    It is sad when someone perhaps our own age, or even younger, has an appointment to meet the Lord sooner than we believe they should.

    Even with her restrictions, Sara has blessed many with her words, and I am certain that she will not be soon forgotten.

  • Reply Jacquelyn Sill September 19, 2011 at 1:59 pm

    Bonnie, I am sorry about your friend. I love reading about your love for her. I thank God that from the time she was born, this life was never meant to be all there was to her.
    I lost my 19-month old daughter over 16 years ago and it made Heaven come alive for me. I look forward to the day I am able to stand hand in hand with her and worship the Lord. I am sure that you have similar feelings about letting go of your friend.
    There are so many bloggers that seem to be touched by Sarah that I feel as though I am getting to know her through you all. God bless you for your willingness to share her song.

  • Reply Jana September 20, 2011 at 9:35 am

    Thank you, Bonnie, for your beautiful tribute to Sara. I am awed, humbled and challenged by her positive attitude and joyful spirit in the face of so much suffering. She has touched so many more lives than she knows! Oh the celebration when we one day all meet up in heaven, sit at the feet of Christ and rejoice as Sara sings and dances for Him! May He richly bless you today, Bonnie.

  • Reply Courtney September 22, 2011 at 2:44 am

    Oh, Bonnie – that is a wonderful hymn. I will be singing it all day now.

    I have been greatly impacted by Sara too. Thank you for your words

  • Reply Melinda September 22, 2011 at 6:16 am

    What inspiration she is to even those who did not know her through this post you so beautifully wrote about her. It encourages me to continue writing to encourage others. In truth and in love regardless of what I am facing. Thank you for sharing your heart and her joy. What a blessing and a beautiful tribute to your sister in Christ. Oh how sweet the reunion will be!

  • Reply Mari-Anna Frangén Stålnacke September 22, 2011 at 6:32 am

    God’s goodness shines through this post & Sara so powerfully! When we are in Christ there is no death! Looking forward to meeting Sara and all of you beautiful sisters in Christ at Jesus’ feet. May God bless you, Sara, with peace beyond understanding! Thank you, Bonnie!

  • Reply Kisha October 20, 2011 at 1:26 am

    Hello Bonnie, that is a wonderful song. I have been greatly touched by Sara too. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

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