What feeds your soul as a single person?
We did it.
Yesterday, you and I passed the 21-day mark to the Feed Your Soul series here on Faith Barista.
So far, I’ve been pouring shots of faith that have focused on savoring our personal relationship with God.
We’ve been filling our soul by soaking in more of God — by getting more intimate with Him and vulnerable with Him.
But, feeding our soul also includes expressing that Christ-in-us beauty — by becoming lifegiving to others.
We were never made to be alone.
We were made to express love for one another, just as Jesus loved us.
For the next 10 days — until the end of our 31 day journey — let’s feed our souls by connecting with others.
How can we feed our souls
in our relationships with others?
First up is: Feed your soul — as a lifegiving single person.
Your Most Valued Soul Asset
What is your most valued soul asset as a single person?
I had been single up into 30’s. Not because I chose it, but because it seemed that was the course life was taking me.
I seriously thought I had the gift of singleness. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to be married, but I couldn’t rule it out as a possibility. What if this was God’s plan for me?
I started preparing myself to live the best single life I could.
One of things I wanted to have, if I was to be single for the rest of my life, was something married women seemed to have.
Because they had a husband, I felt they had a physical way to be loved on. Hugged, kissed, and snuggled.
God… I prayed.
I want that glow — the blush of romance, stars in my eyes.
Even if I don’t have a husband.
I didn’t want to feel inferior. I knew biblically that I wasn’t. Both Jesus and Paul advocated singleness. (Matt. 19:10-12, Corinthians 7).
But, as a woman, my most intimate talks with God about my singleness included my desire for effervescent joy. Like that of a new bride.
As I fed my soul on this prayer (over many moons), God did not keep silent. He gave me the gift of His words —
“Fear not, for you will not be put to shame;
Neither feel humiliated for you will not be disgraced;
For your husband is your Maker whose name is the Lord of hosts.” Is.54:4-5
“And the Lord will continually guide you and satisfy your desire in scorched places…
And you will be like a watered garden
and like a spring of water whose waters do not fail.~Is.58:11
“You will also be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord and a royal diadem in the hand of your God. It will no longer be said to you, ‘Forsaken’. But you will be called, “My delight is in her… for the Lord delights in you… And as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride. So your God will rejoice for you.” Is.62:3-5
How Lord can this be? I asked. …since I don’t have a husband?
His answer was a continuing conversation.
But, one of the key words God kept whispering was:
Feed that part of your soul that is vulnerable.
Take risks that nurture your dependence on God:
— be real in your friendships
— explore new pursuits, creative interests, ministries.
— be free to make changes
— say no
— say yes
— do the things you’d want to do married as a single. Don’t wait.
There is so much more to say about this topic, but let me encourage everyone who is single.
You are lifegiving just as you are.
How can you nurture that part of your soul that is vulnerable?
Walk into areas that put you on the path of faith.
There, you will be releasing God’s lifegiving blessing to others.
Share that effervescent joy of Christ in you.
What feeds your soul as a single person?
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Photo credit: theharlequin9997 via Photobucket.
Being single to me means that nothing comes between me and Christ. He is the primary recipient of my affection.
Talk about “the glow”– undivided affection concentrated on one love. Thanks, Christine.
I had some spiritual experiences I know I would not have had if I was tied to a human. I would be too busy, too frantic, too distracted. For whatever reason, Jesus has requires that I be single and I can tell you that this has been the most intense encounter I have ever had in my life. And at times, I do miss the physical contact with a man but….when I think what I might have to give up just for that, I’d much rather be like the Apostle Paul. With all that Paul had gone through, I can venture a guess that his encounter with the One and Only was on such a level that it would not be traded for anything else in the world.
And yes, I have had my ups and downs but on the whole….this is like nothing that can be described. Enter in through the narrow gate because you cannot imagine what lies on the other side!
Oh I probably should clarify that I have not always been single, but I can say that I have been single since 1995. So I do know what it is like to be married and have children. Mine are all grown up.
Oh I loved this and so needed to read it and read those verses again because well it is such a challenge I agree with you that I would rather be the best person with the gift of singleness who embraces all the emotions and strives to walk it well than to get stuck or give up or quit..,
It *know*. 🙂 Vulnerability is so attractive and so very anti-intuitive. As a single, I had confidence in being independent but I found an equal need for my soul to stay vulnerable. It’s definitely easier to fall to either extremes: To feel totally swallowed up by desire or to totally give up and quit. But, it’s so worth the journey. I love your heart and your journey, Katie. It’s beautiful.
Thank you fro the encouragement Bonnie. I have been single for over 12 years now. I have had my share of ups and downs dating, and am now in a season where I am really trying to honor God in my relationships, physically and emotionally. In this day and age that has made dating a challenge. I have come to peace with the fact that it may mean that I remain single, but by letting go of that I have found such peace and contentment. I agree with Christine, in many ways it has made me so much more available and open to God’s plans for me. It has made it so much easier to focus on my value in God’s heart and by God’s standards than by the standards the world and the media would measure my worth by. I am going to take your advice to heart and do the things as a single person that I would want to do as a married person. The other side of that coin is that there are many things I can do specifically because I am single. I can spend all day in Bible study if I need to, go out for white space time, sponsor as many Compassion kids as I feel called to do without justifying it to anyone. Now if the rest of the world would just catch up and realize that singleness is not something we need to be cured of 🙂
“singleness is not something we need to be cured of ” Lisa Marie — I’m facebooking this quote from you. You ROCK! Thanks for sharing!
I married David at 30 yrs old. I felt all the things you wrote about especially the romance and blushing. Those single years as a single mom were intimate and close with God. Simultaneously, life was chaotic.
What fed my soul was the ones who didn’t treat me like I was single. Even the married friends who made time for me. They were my example. Actually, David was one of those friends…lol. He was one of few friends that brought joy to being single. Little did we know…..
This was very needed Bonnie. You’ve made me remember the beauty and wonder of those days. I’m a bringing into my present.
Jeri, I didn’t know that part of your story. How rich God has woven you into His story. I had a few of the friends you spoke of. They were refreshment to my soul. And your David… wow. God-breathed story.
Oh wow, Bonnie that was so on time on point and all the other ON’S…Thank you for this post. I don’t have any other words for this other than thank you. I’m going to print it out!
Thank you, Chelsea! So sweet of you to stop for a visit!
Once again, what you’ve written is so appropriate for me. I’ve been wondering and wanting to have answers and you write this. Thank you so much for insight as to what one should do in singleness.
Much love and thanks,
Hi Eunice, it’s so nice to have you visit here! It’s a blessing connecting a few words at a time on FB and here. You are lifegiving as.you.are. 😉 Blessings as you share your beautiful soul with those around you.
I’ve been “single” since 1997 when my 50 year old husband died. We were married 6 days short of 25 years, 2 months.
It took me nearly 10 years to even think about changing my status from single. Then I noticed someone at church. We shared a ministry. I got up the nerve to speak to him about one of his professional accomplishments. He was more than happy to dicusss it (male pride I guess :-)). In MY mind things should have progressed from there. How could he possibly not be attracted to me?
Well of course Jesus knows best. These past 4 years have seen us grow in faith (mainly due to his coaching and teaching). We’re very good friends. I asked Jesus MULTIPLE times to let him see me in a personal way since I really needed someone to physically put his arms around me and comfort me. I really needed someone to tell me my latest crisis will pass and all will be OK.
One day it hit me. I don’t need someone to do those things physically. The person he sent me taught me above all to trust. Trust that all will be well if I allow God in my life and let Him, not me, be the director. So now I thank God every day for sending him to me not to be my physical support but to show me where my strength really will come from.
I’m still being enough of a teenager (at age 61!) to think that maybe one day there could be something but in all honesty I now know that will just be an extra. I have what I need just by thinking the thought.
I am a single mom, something God never intended, so it’s hard sometimes to remember that God is my husband right now and that He is sustaining me. It’s hard sometimes to wonder why that man that I know is out there who will love me and my son the way we deserve, has not come yet. But I know that God has a plan adn I know that He’s in control, so I wait and I work on leaning on God.
I have stood on the truth of Is.54:4-5 for years, but today, it seemed like I had never heard it before (refreshing). Sometimes I think I treat singleness as a disease. haha But I’m praying that God changes my heart. I don’t want to waste one minute of my life questioning God’s plan (even though I’m guilty of that). I think I’m going to work on memorizing the verses you listed above. Thanks for the encouragement, Bonnie. The past couple of days have been hard for me in this area.
I enjoy being single for the most part. I do have to remind myself that anything God creates can be twisted into something hurtful and wrong. It does hurt to be passed by when my couple friends choose to spend most of their time doing things with other couples. On the other hand, I have the gift of being an unofficial big sister to the college students in our campus ministry. Some view marriage as a sign that you’re officially grown up (I don’t agree), but that works in my favor because the students seem to relate and talk to me as a slightly older peer even though I’m more than a decade older.