Instead of keeping a list of criticisms we collect on our motherhood, what if we started noticing what God notices?
Life is not a test.
But, my days as mom with two boys under six often feel like they are.
Have I been patient — or did I lose it?
Did I spend enough 1-1 time with my kids — or did I overlook them in all the daily chores?
Should I have been firmer — or was it a case to give more grace?….
This list goes on and on.
It often feels like the weight of that daily mental checklist can just be too much.
A lot of people would encourage me to just let things go.
If you’re like me — with a self-aware heart who wants to bless her children and her family — sometimes, we just can’t.
What Are We Focusing On?
We want to love our family to the nth degree, but find our vision for motherhood bigger than our tired bodies and fried brains.
Rather than falling to either extremes — of being super mommy — or super failure — let’s feed our souls today by taking action.
Let’s start interrupting those check-lists by
– acknowledging the work God is doing through us
– rather than judging ourselves by a list of our weaknesses.
“To focus our minds on the human nature leads to death,
but to focus our minds on the Spirit leads to life and peace.”
Romans 8:6
What are we focusing our minds on?
– The things we fail to do.
or
– The things God enables us to do?
You and I can never win if we compare ourselves against the list of weaknesses or our limitations (our flesh).
God knows we can’t stand up to them. That is why He doesn’t measure our motherhood against the law of perfection. God sets us free because of His Spirit in us.
“…there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,
because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free
from the law of sin and death.” Romans 8:1
But now…we have been released from the law
so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit,
and not in the old way of the written code.”
Romans 7:6
We often overlook the work that God enables us to do.
I often view the laborious, seemingly menial tasks of keeping up with family life as “givens”.
I tell myself: Of course, I’m supposed to do the groceries, keep the fridge stocked and make sure I’ve got dinner on the table.
I’ve set most of the daily responsibilities of keeping up with the kids and home life as prerequisites, rather than blessings God enables me to do through His grace and His compassion.
In positive parenting philosophies, it’s been said for every one negative comment we give our kids, we should give three compliments to nurture healthy self esteem.
Instead of keeping a list of criticisms we collect on our motherhood, what if we started noticing what God notices?
A mommy friend recently put it this way:
“Let’s give ourselves a pat on the back for the little things we do that take a lot out of us!”
God Cheering Me
I started patting myself on the back and imagining God cheering me on for:
– Getting up to make breakfast everyday.
– Doing unending stream of dishes with every meal.
– Loading whatever amount of laundry and folding them, according to the grace God’s given me for that day.
– Picking up Legos, stepping in between the boys during the protests of “Me”and “Mine”.
– Holding CJ on the toilet for seemingly for an eternity as he learns to go potty.
There’s always that voice that says, “Duh! Of course that’s what moms do.”
But, I’m learning to hear my Heavenly Daddy’s voice louder.
He’s cheering me on, laughing at the insanity and just hugging me, beaming with pride over my big accomplishments for the day.
“This is my son (daughter), in whom I’m well pleased.” Matthew 3:17
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Let’s do it. Let’s acknowledge the work God is doing through you as a mom.
What can you pat yourself on the back for — and acknowledge God’s pleasure in you?
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9 Comments
Thank you so much for this most necessary reminder. I felt I couldn’t even get to church this morning – a shower was out of the question. I was just worn down from all the necessary “stuff” as it seemed. I appreciate your tactful reminder that these are blessings from our Heavenly Father. I’ll do my best to focus on this most positive message!
Sometimes, I’m too focused on my failures to feel that God is pleased with me. This is sinful, because it belies the character of God. Part of it is an old, deep fear that if I truly relax into His love, suddenly He’ll look at me and say, “What are YOU doing here?” It’s sinful, but I can’t seem to get rid of it. Please pray for me. Thank you.
Oh you could insert daycare teacher in place of the word mom here for me. I fail so often, I need the reminder of the good I do.
Patting myself on the back for letting them go and be the adult men God’s planned for them to be. Very hard, but so freeing.
Love this post…
As a mother of two college age young adults I can pat myself on the back and acknowledge God’s pleasure knowing that I raised them to know and love the Lord.
Oh, Bonnie–this is such worship! Truly! When we look at what HE is doing in us…we’re freed and He’s honored. What a great post, friend!
I needed this today. I was having one of those mornings and needed to just take a breath so that when I pick my son up this afternoon, I am a better mom for having taken a breath and listened to God.
“He’s cheering me on, laughing at the insanity and just hugging me, beaming with pride over my big accomplishments for the day.” I wonder what would happen if all of Christendom could really connect with God in the fullness of His personality as you have just helped us to do here! I have a feeling the world would see Christianity in an entirely different light!
Found your blog through twitter and KevinMartineau …I am so glad I clicked on his link. Sometimes, we beat ourselves up and worry that we aernt doing enough. I think I stuggle with this daily. I forget to pat myself on the back and be happy for what I give them daily. Thank you for sharing!!!