“The next best thing to being wise oneself is to live in a circle of those who are.” ~ C.S. Lewis
Yesterday, I did something different.
Three girlfriends and I went out for dinner.
We met up after we put our kids down for bedtime and made our families dinner.
Of course, we were starving by the time we sat down to order.
What was different is that we chose a restaurant neither of us had been before.
It was fun.
Missed Hanging Out
Over the summer, I felt the need for some prayer time with godly women who I could be real with. Our women’s group at church takes a break in the summer, and I felt I was getting too comfortable being alone (other than with Hubby). Sure I connected with girlfriends over email and even the phone.
But, something in my soul missed hanging out with women friends.
The spontaneous laughter, the random conversations that women who have listening hearts do so well.
I prayed about who I could approach. I wanted it small and cozy. Just two or at most three other women.
I’ve gotten so comfy on my own recently.
Would you like to get together and pray every other Monday?
Keep It Simple
We’d meet after we fed our families and put our kids to bed. It was short — an hour or so.
But, how those conversations we shared fed our souls!
Some of the girls already had more structured Bible studies or small groups.
Ours was purely focused on praying for each other and sharing thanksgiving and needs. No “preparation” needed other than just showing up.
Just keeping it real.
I’d keep it really simple.
I’d remember to wash some extra fruit earlier in the evening when I prepared dinner for the family.
Boil a pot of tea.
Brushed the toys to the side and went around the living areas, collecting stray items in a bag to place in the closet.
Some of us brought notebooks to take prayers down. Others of us didn’t.
We prayed for each other.
Over a period of months, we got used to each other.
Last night, we decided to go out for Thai.
What Godly Women Do Best
I looked up restaurants on the online restaurant guide Yelp for some help:
QUIET for noise level.
NOT RECOMMENDED for children.
Perfect.
We shared our different food selections “family style” and sampled each others’ dishes — as well as the stories going on in our lives.
We do what godly women do best — we listened, laughed, hurt for one another and made a big deal out of everuday joys and triumphs. In between bites of food, we talked about books we’ve loved reading and others not so much, DVDs worth renting and ended sharing prayer requests, praying for the sister to our left.
Here’s what’s interesting. Between life happening and mismatched schedules, it took us over a month to schedule our Girls Night Out.
It was worth it in the end. We left with not only our tummies full, but our souls refreshed and filled.
Maybe in the past, you might have been like me, hurt by women too.
It may be time to for you to start something new and discover godly women can heal and bless you too.
Get comfy with just one or two friends.
Give your soul a chance to have fun. Make some plans to go out with some girlfriends. Or just invite someone over for a pot of tea and some fruit.
“Love one another with brotherly affection. Out do one another in showing honor.” Romans 12:10
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Do you have a small and cozy circle of godly women to be real with?
When’s the last time you went out to just enjoy some fun with them?
Pull up a chair. I love company and enjoy hearing your thoughts. Click to share a comment.
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Photo credit: gildedbee via Photobucket.
14 Comments
Two women came to mind right away when I read this. You’ve motivated me with keep it simple and real. Your words “just show up” refresh me. No pressure is just what I’m looking for. Just what I need.
Thank You so much Bonnie.
I have a small circle of women who meet together once a month. We bring food and sit in the living room. I have shared things with these women that not another living soul knows except for my hubby. We have laughed and cried together, faced our demons together and celebrated milestones together. I feel completely safe there and so able to be vulnerable without judgement or criticism. I love them dearly!
Blessings,
~Erin
I have finally fallen into a little group like that. There are 4 of us and we try to get together at least one Saturday a month. That time togther is so refreshing and I love having women friends like this!
This was so timely…as most of your posts are. 🙂 Last Monday 3 of my girlfriends got together for a dinner out to celebrate our October birthdays. (One friends birthday is really Nov. 1st, but we figured she was just ‘delivered’ late. Three out of the four of us attend the same women’s bible study, and the other friend joins us at church. This is the first time we have done this, and it was the most fun we have ever had. We have decided this was the first of an annual affair! We already pray for each other, so this night was for eating Mexican food, laughing and even sharing a birthday cake!
You have reminded me as well, Bonnie, to keep it simple and real. I have a friend that I am trying to connect with and pray for each other…We live in different cities and our work schedules don’t coincide with each other…Sooo we decided to do a phone call instead. So it starts tomorrow,..,Kind of different to do, but still will be good for each of us. Another friend and I do a book study together and am thinking it’s time to bring another friend to join us..We get comfy in either of our two houses, have a cup of tea and read and chat and laugh when we both have the same things underlined in the book..I’m also partaking in the Bloom (in)RL conference,. Am looking forward to who God will have join me here at the house.
Linda McGill After I found out my husband was having an affair with a younger woman who pretended to be my friend, but was obviously closer to him than me, I was devastated. After Divorce Care I started attending Celebrate Recovery. I had a hard time th…inking healing could take place within my small group and then 12 Step Study Group of all women. Was I ever pleasantly surprised. We all have our own hurts, hang-ups or bad habits, but we love each other uncondionally. Had the best time ever at one of my friend’s 50th Bday celebration. It was a girl’s night out. Best party ever.
I just approached our Care Pastor’s wife saying I would love to get to know her better. I know him very well due to working within the Care Ministry. We are trying to figure out a time that we can get together.
I stepped out of my comfort zone. I don’t approach people and say I want to get to know you and spend time with you.
A friend and I have been meeting on Mondays for a couple of years. We’ve had several other ladies join from time to time, but the two of us have been as consistent as our work schedules allow… and we miss this time together when it can’t happen. She puts it well–when she leaves, she feels “lighter” because we have shared each other’s burdens! What a gift God has given us!
I actually wish I had some women to go out with sometimes. I have two friends who I do things with occassionally, but I am very much a loner for the most part and when I’m not in a loner mood, my schedule or theirs does not permit going out or even hanging out. Sometimes it’s hard not to have that type of fellowship. We moved around a lot as a kid and I was (and can still be) very shy so I never made friends easily and therefore don’t have a lot of girl friends at all.
I have 2 year old triplets and often struggle with not having time with my girlfriends which I desperately miss – I just wrote about such a wonderful break with my best friend, it soothes the soul most definitely: http://vincenttriplets.blogspot.com/2011/09/faithful-friend.html
I think I am too content to be alone. My family takes everything out of me. By the time we are dressed, fed, and the house and dishes and laundry are caught up, I have no energy left to nourish friendships. It is not as though I do not go to church, or attend a baby shower, etc. when invited. I’m with people at least twice a week, but I’m still occupied with my own responsibilities. My children, my husband, my food or dishes from the potluck . . . Is this just how it is for a wife of 4 years with three children?
I belong to a group of great friends, we call ourselves the Silver Vessels ( we are all in our 50s & 60s). We get together at least once a month to pray, praise, & fellowship. We treasure these times. We have shared sorrows, and joys. God has showed Himself faithful to answer. I consider this group one of my best blessings.
going out after the kiddos are in bed and the family is fed. hmm…now there’s an idea! 😉
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