“Come away with me…
I want to walk with you
On a cloudy day
In fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high
So won’t you try to come?” – Norah Jones, Come Away With Me
Everybody knows when someone’s in love. They tend to disappear.
You can’t always reach them when you dial their number.
It may be days before you hear back from an email.
Her plans for every weekend aren’t a real mystery.
Your friend and her love are spending time together — spending it like there is no tomorrow.
Isn’t that what love-that-feeds-your-soul look like?
Love that touches your soul can make time stand still — and yet mysteriously use it up in a blink, like warm maple syrup poured over fresh pancakes on a crisp autumn morning.
As a married woman, making time to escape with my husband is one of the most satisfying ways to feed my soul.
At The Core, At The Center
As a married couple, there are so many things we shoulder together. We work hard side by side to till the soil of life and brave the ever-changing elements of raising children and making a life.
There is always a long list of things to get done and problems to solve. Never a shortage of pressures, uncertainties and tough decisions to be made. In the background, voices call out to us: work, family, obligations, school, friends.
These are all good things, but they don’t feed the soul.
There is a part of our connection that can’t be replaced by functioning as a good team.
At the core of our emotional intimacy is a soul connection.
At the center of our soul connection is friendship — and friendships take time.
Emotional Zone
For me, I can’t turn off the everyday operational mode very easily.
To nurture intimacy and get into that emotional zone, I need:
– quiet spaces
– holding hands
– looking into each other’s eyes
– whispering
– long talks without the pressure of interruptions
Coming up with ways to get away with my husband is one of my favorite things to do.
Sometimes, just knowing I’m planning something just for the two of us makes my soul breathe.
Both To Receive
This world constantly calls us to give.
Planning time for us is a way for both of us to receive.
What’s about our time together is we
1. Splurge time on each other. Everything and everyone else can wait.
2. Keep it simple. The purpose of soul-feeding, not soul-stressing.
Once a month, I plan a date out for us.
It will include coffee, strolling and enjoying a meal.
Outside of our date nights, I do in-house dinner date nights:
Feed the kids left over from the night before and put them to bed earlier.
Start the “date” off by playing music to set the mood (jazz standards, country romance or 80’s faves).
While I cook a very simple meal, we enjoy conversation together.
By the time dinner is ready, the kids have fallen hard asleep.
I clear the dining table of books, toys and knick-knacks.
Turn down the lights, light the candles, and set the table.
When I’m too exhausted to do in-house dinner date night:
We snuggle up for popcorn and a flick, or
I fix up some fruit just us and chat on the sofa.
When life gets hectic, these rhythms allow us to breathe.
We find safety with each other and return to a place in our souls where there is quiet to be savored.
Next time, if you’re wondering why I haven’t gotten back to you on that email, don’t worry.
I haven’t disappeared. It’s probably the kids and yes, it’s also taking care of life in general.
But, on some days, it won’t be for any of those reasons. It’ll just be me spending time with my best friend. Savoring soul rest with him.
“Come away, my love! … Let his left hand be under my head And his right hand embrace me.” Song of Solomon 8:14, 2:6
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What are simple ways you enjoy time with your husband?
What encourages or hinders spending time together as a couple?
Pull up a chair. I love company and enjoy hearing your thoughts. Click to share a comment.
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Photo credit: jenniferqm via Photobucket.
11 Comments
I really needed this today. We’ve been much more more intentional about our time – making time together. But, it can be so difficult to make the noise of everyday life…still.
When we get alone there are so many things to discuss. But, your post is a good reminder that sometimes we just need to let the questions and plans sit. So we can be present with the one we love.
I might want to re-read Psalm 46:10 a few times – lol.
Oh, yes, Dana. Getting away is definitely is swimming upstream when “working on stuff” feels more productive. But, it feels SO good when we do get alone.
This reminded me of our favourite getaway place — I posted about it back in 2009 here
http://hisfirefly.blogspot.com/2009/04/retreat.html
We’ve been back once and I pray many more times in the future…
About twice a month, my husband & I take a day trip somewhere in our state or maybe even neighboring states. Those long drives are time for us to re-connect and just talk and laugh. Sometimes we even sing!!
Other times, my husband will sit out on the front porch to smoke a cigar. I will light some candles and sit out there with him. We don’t talk alot during these times. We just quietly enjoy each others company. We have worked hard to stay very much in love for 17 years. Spending quality time together has gotten us through some pretty rough times.
Blessings,
~Erin
My husband and I try to have a date night once a week. Sometimes we just run errands together (ooh, romantic!) but just being together makes it feel like special time. Since I work from home sometimes, having date night at home is mentally tricky for me because it’s hard to feel like I’ve gotten out of my “office.” Still working on that challenge!
That is so sweet, Amy… running errands together.. things best friends do together!
Love how you celebrate the simple things. They mean so much more to me than the grand gestures!
I prefer to go out for dinner when it is a date since I cook every night for us. My favorite date: just being held by him.
Wii!!! Especially when we need to laugh. We just did dinner last night and walked around a little.
I love that you don’t get back to emails right away. Your example of living balanced that way is so encouraging to me.
I. love. this!
We have a friend who has a new girl and we hardly see him right now. I smiled while reading your post. The same happens with us when life *whirls and twirls* or when I just need to refocus on us–my groom and me.
Your reality check of what married life is like is so important. That *crazy cycle* that Emmerson Eggerichs coined in his book, Love and Respect–it’s so true!
My groom and I (note, I still call him my groom after nearly a dozen years!), have lunch together a few times a week–and we try to connect when we watch a tv show together, enjoying it and commenting about it–and I take a vacation day once a month just for us, and we get more for our mileage while the Boy is at school. All this is so necessary.
Great reminders to get away…even at home!
Life has become quite hectic lately so I’m just now trying to catch up on your 31 days posts. My husband and I will be married 27 years on November 3rd. Believe me when I say that we’ve been through so much together. Some has been wonderful. He wined and dined me and we got married a little over two months after our first date. I know; crazy. But I did already know him eleven months. We’ve also gone through many rough times together. As humans, we let each other down at times. But in the process, we’ve learned to forgive and treasure what we have.
I’m surprised to write this but …
I am treasuring my husband the most during this difficult season in our lives!
I cannot believe I wrote that but I love him more today than ever. He listens to me and cares about my day. It wasn’t always like this. He massages my tired feet and he loves to hear all about the little children I work with each day. That’s a gift to me.
Sorry this is so long but in answer to your question. I love to sit outside in the early morning hours with Greg as we watch bunnies, quail, and squirrels nibble on the goodies we leave for them. I love to listen to Greg share from his heart. I love that we have connected on a different level since losing most of our material possessions. I love that we know what’s really important. So much to be thankful for!
Blessings and love,
Debbie