“One of the secrets of life is to keep your friends within hugging distance.” Anonymous
Just two days ago, Silicon Valley shook with the news of a technology legend’s death: Apple co-founder and CEO Steve Jobs.
The beauty, simplicity and quality of Apple products designed under his leadership are undisputed. Steve Jobs literally spent a lifetime laser-focused on what John Sculley — his one time co-CEO at Apple — attributes to Job’s methodology for building great products.
According to Scully, one secret to Steve Jobs’ success was this: keep it small.
… Steve had a rule that there could never be more than one hundred people on the Mac team.
That thinking was a typical Steve Jobs observation: “I can’t remember more than a hundred first names so I only want to be around people that I know personally. The way I like to work is where I touch everything.”
One hundred.
Jesus chose twelve.
When he faced his happiest moment – His transfiguration — and one of his lowest — His darkest night in the Garden of Gethsamane — Jesus chose three.
Jesus wasn’t out making a product or recruiting a team to do work. Jesus was building friendships, the kind that reflects God heart for relationship.
Small is the perfect size for soul food called friendship.
Salty French Fries
One day, when I was out running errands, I randomly bumped into a friend. It was months since we last got together.
I asked her how she was doing. She said with a smile “Good… How about you?”
I replied, “Exhausted!” and laughed.
“Really?” she commented.
As I began to tell her how I’ve felt cooped up and craving girlfriend time, I had an idea. Wanna go grab lunch right now?
As she paused, about to say no, I blurted. Let’s just go to McD’s. It’ll be quick…
As our kids climbed over each other in the play area, she confided she’s been exhausted too. We laughed ourselves silly over how ridiculous and hard life can be.
We didn’t stay long. But, as we both waved goodbye and smiled across the parking lot, we left with our souls more satisfied. Even though we ate salty french fries that tasted way too good to be good for you.
Soul Refreshment
When I’m needing soul refreshment, I go solo. I dive deep down, get quiet, read a book, eat some carbs, journal, listen to music. Swallow some silence.
But, there are times I know that I’ve been by myself too long. Maybe not physically. Or even socially. But, emotionally, I have retreated. And I’m too comfortable there.
So, rather than analyzing myself and feeling guilty for not having done so earlier, I pick up the phone.
I don’t email, get busy, and end up in bed to realize I forget to send it out.
I don’t write it down on a note, only to lose it among all the other notes.
I call.
I leave a voicemail if no one picks up.
I speak. I use my voice.
Hey Henriette, Whatchu up to? I’ve been so busy. Need to get out. In the mood for dinner sometime? No worries if you’re not.
Hey Juanita, Want to grab a cup of coffee? I miss getting together with you.
Hi Michelle, Want to come over sometime after the kids are down. Tea? It would be great to catch up. Pray together maybe?
I try to find one friend who happens to be available. Sometimes, I call to get all three of us together. The planning does end up in an email. But, I like calling to kick things off first.
If you’re feeling in a funk, call up a friend.
It doesn’t have to be a big production or a long time away from home. Something simple.
You might be surprised how happy she’d be to get your call.
It’s become a treasured rarity to spend time in the skin together. An oddity even, given today’s pace of life.
“By yourself you’re unprotected.
With a friend you can face the worst.
Can you round up a third?
A three-stranded rope isn’t easily snapped.”
~ Eccl 4:12
Don’t let the amount of time you’ve been away keep you away.
Don’t let the guilt of feeling blah keep you quiet.
Call up a friend and make plans to see each other. Even if it’s for just a while.
You’ll feed your soul and you would have breathed a moment of friendship.
The soul refreshment will last longer than the time you will have spent.
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What encourages you to get together with friends?
Pull up a chair. I love company and enjoy hearing your thoughts. Click to share a comment.
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To catch up and read the earlier posts in this series —
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Photo courtesy of findstuff via Photobucket.
33 Comments
So thankful to have friends like this that I can call. 🙂
You’re blessed, Tracey. Hug those friends! 🙂
I love the idea of getting together with friends. It doesn’t happen often enough.
I think I need to call someone and get together, soon. 🙂 Wish we lived closer, I would call you.
Aw. 😉 I’d be squealing w/ anticipation, Katie!
I love getting together with friends to grab a bite to eat or sit and chat for a while. I have such great friends who are also busy but I try and see them at least once or twice a month. I need to cal l Nikki. I haven’t heard from her since June so must see what she is up to and visit. Thank you for the post today. It was refreshing.
Yes, Chris. Call Niki. 😉
You have inspired me to call a friend. I had a baby 3 weeks ago and have been hiding out in between visitors and feeling guilty for not calling some friends. But you are so right, it is too comfortable, I need to reach out to feel that fufillment! Loving your series!
Becca, congratulations! Boy or girl? 🙂 New mommies especially need their girlfriends – esp. the first 6 weeks of newborn baby. Felt that way w/ my 2nd too. I’ll be thinking of you.
I am encouraged to get together with friends to share all of the wonderful ways that God is blessing our lives. Also, a delicious meal is always in the mix…
That’s wonderful, Joan. Food always is in the mix, that’s for sure. 🙂
Oh, I needed this Bonnie… for I am indeed quicker to email than phone and that enables me to remain isolated instead of truly connected.
When the connections come, we dirnk and drink and drink as if we have never before seen water, so why do we allow ourselves to get so dry?
Graet post.
I know, HisFireFly. I feel the same way every time, too. 😉
Thank, dear Bonnie, for this reminder on how precious friendships are. I have been neglect in staying in touch with a couple of friends and using every excuse not to call. Thank you for this post that is giving me the push that I need to talk with them today. Bless you for writing just what my heart needed to hear.
<3 Dorothy
I hope you have a nice call, Dorothy. 😉
Isn’t it funny how easy it is to get comfortable being alone, even when you love times with friends. That’s definitely where I am. I needed a push out of my comfortable solitude!
Yep. It is (funny). 😉 Then, we get together & wondered why it was so hard. LOL.
thats such a spot on point; when i am alone too long, it just gets easier and easier to be alone 🙁 i will try and make it a point during this busiest of seasons of my husbands work and my first time around as an empty nester to do just this! thanks!
Can’t wait to hear all about it, Julie. New season, new rhythm, new friends.
Sure it would be great to spend the night together, watching a movie or hanging out at the local mexican joint eating way too much guacamole.
But, choosing a time, which restaurant, is it in the budget this month?
“How about McDonalds? I love their Mango-pineapple smoothies. Even if it’s just 30 min. How about the one at Main St. and First Ave.?”
So easy.
Such a good reminder.
So true, Dana. Sometimes just trying to think of all the planning just leaves that email in my inbox. 😉 So, I just call & it’s out there.
Have you been watching my life from afar? How is it that you are summarizing my situation so perfectly? I stuff, hide and even ignore my need for female companionship. My husband, sweet as can be, can’t fix everything. When I’m struggling or feeling a little “blah” about life, I need my girlfriend. I need to grab her and spend time with her – even if it’s McDonalds – and refresh. The reminder that we’re not alone, that understanding eyes make me feel supported and I do walk away stronger. I often wait for her to connect with me but your post is challenging me to admit that I often wait too long. Thanks for the challenge!
Just give her a call, Katie! I’m sure she’s feeling the way we do, too. 🙂 *hugs*
I love this idea. I’m in the DC area (workaholic central – and that includes the at-home crowd, too) so finding time to get together with people is too rare of a treat. But yes, setting aside those little get-togethers is so important. This is making me plan a little daytime jaunt to see a friend tomorrow – the errands will be there when I get back. 🙂
I put that scripture verse on my facebook as a reminder that we all have friends or special people in our lives that we need to connect with. We are not made to be alone. I really enjoy your great encouragement and challeng. Thank you
Bonnie, this really encourages me and challenges me.
I used to be a phone person. But then life happened and I just don’t know what kind of chaos my call might ring into on the other side. Fear limits me too often. And then, my own life happened and I just can’t seem to make myself call; except for when I’m traveling for business. Once every other week I have eight hours of uninterrupted time to catch up with a friend and it’s such a delight if they are also available to talk at the same time.
The in person get-together, though…that’s hard with busy schedules, too. Last year I tried to get together with a friend to walk and it was such a joy, especially since I did that a few years ago and got to be really great friends with someone in a land where we lived far away from our family and I longed for companionship. Thinking of those walks and talks really makes me remember the power they hold. Just because my current friends have smaller children than my own doesn’t mean we can’t.
A few weeks ago I called my best friend at a time when I needed her and her *issues* seemed so much bigger than mine, and so I felt so ashamed for my needy-ness. But, it was just what we both needed.
{random blabbering today…}
I appreciate your encouragement today. So. Much.
I’m single and the friends and family I would get together with are married with children. I usually wait for an invite from them because I realize they are busy. But we do go out from time to time. I get together with one single friend pretty often – once a month or so.
It is very refreshing to be with a friend. Some of my friends are the most obedient to Jesus I know. They challenge me in that area.
I am a super extrovert, so if I don’t have some time out with friends, I can feel really drained. This series has been a breath of fresh air, and so needed for me at this stage in my life! Lovin’ it!
This one really speaks to me, Bonnie … about retreating, and then retreating more ’cause you feel blah and all. I can relate. But just this past week–starting with a woman’s retreat last weekend–I feel like God is calling me out, to speak up, take that risk and make the effort to talk to someone new. And it’s a good thing. It does something for my soul.
i’m living in a town right now where I don’t know anyone super well yet (have only been here a couple months). I was thinking of traveling to take a retreat away in a city nearby on the coast, for the weekend. But then I realized it was thanksgiving, and then I got invited over by some new friends. And between the bunch of us we are going to try to figure out how to make a full Thanksgiving dinner (turkey and all); it’ll be the first time trying for us!
As much as the ocean was drawing me and a quiet solitary day in a new place surelywas appealing, the way my plans turned out, is so much better! I’m excited to spend the weekend with this couple and their beautiful kids.
Thank you for the important reminder. We are designed for fellowship. Fellowship with friends, family and God.
God has brought some beautiful women into my life. We love to get together, just to play and have fun. And then there are the serious times, when we chat over the Word, our lives, our hopes, fears and disappointments. My friends are always so positive, speaking the life of the Word into my soul. And when I am too weak to walk, they come and bear up my arms and strengthen me. I am so grateful for my beautiful friendships!
What I most like to do with my girl friends is spend time together. We start out by talking and laughing and just catching up on things. We eat and share.. our sharing always turns to Jesus. That’s what I love most. And then we pray! Wonderful time together. Seeking the lover of our soul. We are so connected. We leave feeling refreshed and revived. Praise the Lord for true friendships. I am blessed.
[…] with. Our women’s group at church takes a break in the summer, and I felt I was getting too comfortable being alone (other than with Hubby). Sure I connected with girlfriends over email and even the […]