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What Fried Rice Taught Me About Brokenness & New Year Resolutions

By Bonnie Gray • January 26, 2013 • 24 Comments

When all you have are broken pieces, how do you start the new year by faith?

One of my favorite comfort foods is fried rice.

If you’ve never made this Asian fave, think of it as pasta for Chinese people.  It’s versatile.  You can whip it up in a skillet, pan, wok, or whatever.  The key is sauteing each ingredient separately and then combining it all at the end.

One advantage that fried rice has over it’s Italian cousin may be this — the ingredients that make up the best fried rice are leftovers:  day old rice, frozen veges and diced sausage.

In other words, nothing is wasted.  Stuff usually considered second class citizens in your fridge are thrown together to conduct a symphony that makes your taste buds sing.

At a time when everyone is busy cooking up their new year resolutions, I’m opening up my soul and I find left-overs.

I’m excited about this new chapter in my life, but those fragments of failed attempts, insecurities and old thought patterns seem to clutter up the pages.

What can I do?

A Story

I don’t have a 10 step plan to share with you, but I can offer you a story that somehow answered my heart’s query.

A little boy who had only two fish and five loaves of bread handed his lunch over to Jesus.

Jesus gave thanks for them, broke them into tiny pieces, and served 5,000 hungry people with them.  There were left overs that day too.

As I look down at the broken pieces that I’ve carried into the new year, I have to be honest.

It’s hard for me to imagine Jesus giving thanks for the scattering of efforts and my lack of consistency.  It’s even harder for me to picture anyone being fed by my words.

But I also have to say, whenever I dare to lift my head and look into Jesus’ eyes, I see Him steadily looking at me with kindness.  I feel His hands placed around mine and I hear Him say,

“Bonnie.  I love you.  Give all these things to me.”

I gather my mustard-seed-sized faith — so tiny, it’s only whisper thin — and offer up what I have.

Here it is, Lord.  Help me believe.

Don’t Hold Yourself Back

If you’re feeling hesitant to go for the blessings God’s put on your heart this year, don’t hold yourself back because of history or shortcomings in your view.

Jesus isn’t looking for perfect people. He’s eager to show us that He can make something beautiful out of our lives this year.

Give God your broken pieces.

Dare to share your journey through the hard places, along with the good.

In Jesus’ hands, we can place ourselves as is.  He accepts us, gives thanks for us, and blesses what is broken to feed the people around us:  friends, family, co-workers, neighbors, and even strangers.

~  If God is for us, who can be against us? ~ Romans 8:31

~  Nothing can keep us from the love of God ~ Romans 8:35

“Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture..” The Message Romans 8:35

~  We have an Advocate, Jesus, who prays for us all the time. ~ Romans 8:33-34

“Who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us – who was raised to life for us! – is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. The Message Romans 8:33-34

I’m throwing these promises into the mix of doubts, and I’m stepping out with just one word.  I’m focused on who I’m becoming, to give me confidence in the doing.

As for fried rice, I wish I could invite you all over and serve you a bowl.

Then, you’d be totally convinced I’m not spinning a tale, when I tell you this dish is the best.

~~~~~

How is God encouraging you today?

Pull up a chair. It’s so good to have you here.  Click to comment and read each other’s thoughts.

~~~~~

Thinking of You

A quote from today’s post is featured in DaySpring’s new DayBrightener Home For The Hearts of Women for a page in January.  So, I thought I’d refresh it from the archives and share it with you.

I wrote this two years ago, when I was battling to complete my book proposal — that eventually got contracted to be published.  Little did I know, while writing the manuscript, I’d be hijacked into this season of healing with post-traumatic stress.

How much this post encourages and strengthens my heart today!

May it touch your heart right where you are, as we enter into the last week of January.  The words He’s spoken to you years ago are still alive, speaking new in you again.  Jesus has not forgotten and His love and faithfulness will not leave you stranded in the middle of your journey.

Don’t hold back, friends. Trust Him with what He wants you to do next.  We can do so together, knowing we’re not alone. Even as we move forward with fear and trembling.

With much love and affection, Bonnie


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24 Comments

  • Reply Christine January 26, 2013 at 1:21 pm

    Hi Bonnie! I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE fried rice or any Chinese food. Being vegan I don’t put meat in mine but there are plenty of other things to put in it. I also cannot have gluten and I’m on the lookout for how to make wrappers for dim sum or spring rolls or pot stickers with gluten free flour. Praying for you. And I can identify with a “tiny whisper of faith.” How great is His love for us that He will even take the tiny whisper. He knows our hearts beat for Him. You will make it through this.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray January 26, 2013 at 4:11 pm

      “How great is His love He will even take the tiny whisper…” That’s beautiful Christine. And vegetarian fried rice is perfect! Yummy.

  • Reply Katie January 26, 2013 at 1:22 pm

    Oh Bonnie, This encourages my heart so, even if you wrote it two years ago. I feel like leftovers is all I have to offer God sometimes. I feel heart broken yet again and realize it is all I have to give Him, myself and all my brokenness. Tears come to my eyes as I think of all that is going on in my life this year. I am continuing to pray for you and your journey through your own struggles. (((((((((((hugs))))))))) — I still wish I was there in person to give you that hug and let you know how much you mean to me.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray January 26, 2013 at 4:23 pm

      Thanks, Katie. This post continues speaks to me right now too. It takes great faith to surrender to the healing. Do whatever you see God prompting you in the moment. Give yourself permission to take care of you, friend. *hugs*

  • Reply Dee January 26, 2013 at 1:37 pm

    Just being reminded of how Jesus took what people had, blessed and multiplied it gives me hope. When I look into His eyes, I see the compassion I need to continue even though things are never perfect. His love and compassion give me strength and joy along my journey. I’ve come a long way since I fought the anxiety attacks and thought I was actually dying. Now, that is gone, and it was Jesus who healed me. The therapists helped, but I know it was Jesus’ perfect love that really healed me. He still protects me and keeps me safe. For that I am deeply thankful. 😀 God bless and keep you.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray January 26, 2013 at 4:30 pm

      Dee, I’m so happy you made it through and can recount the joy and the intimacy of being cared for by Jesus. Yay!

  • Reply dunlizzie January 26, 2013 at 2:01 pm

    Sweet and succinct, and extraordinarily beautiful. How amazingly He transforms our most broken bits into something so… nourishing… for all who partake. Dish me up a bowl of that and call me inspired. God bless you friend <3

    • Reply Bonnie Gray January 26, 2013 at 4:29 pm

      Hi Dunlizzie! Thank you for being here as we enjoy some virtual fried rice together… with Him! *hugs*

  • Reply helen January 26, 2013 at 2:36 pm

    thank you for the timely message and the encouragement that freshly sustains me anew in my ongoing journey. more powerto uour ministry!

    • Reply Bonnie Gray January 26, 2013 at 4:35 pm

      Thanks, Helen!

  • Reply Ana January 26, 2013 at 4:20 pm

    Broken and alone, often eating by myself, walking alone and full of worry, is there enough faith left for me to even feel that in my brokenness God is really there? I am hopeful and I am trusting that God’s word is true and that He never fails. I just have to believe and have enough faith and that of a mustard seed that I can hang on to in the midst of my crisis. I want to know that this too will pass but more importantly I want to know that I am held in His arms when it gets really bad. Making the most of a situation gone bad can be difficult to restore but I know that even those little bits and pieces have its place in the grande scheme of things in life. I take one day at a time and I continue to hope and I do pray that this too will pass and that one day soon I will see Him face to face, but until then I am holding on to that bowl of fried rice until it never runs out!

    • Reply Bonnie Gray January 26, 2013 at 4:28 pm

      Oh, Ana! We need God’s love and comfort right where we are, when later is too hard. Jesus, please bring Ana to a place where others can meet her at the crossroads of crisis, so someone can be your hand of friendship to her right now.

  • Reply Julie January 26, 2013 at 4:37 pm

    So…how DO you do it? How do you always deliver exactly along the lines of where I am at? I know it is God that pulls it off like this, but you have to know he is using you in my life in such a personal and direct way….and I know others can testify to that in their own lives.
    I’ve been in the ministry for twenty-two fantastic years, but this is the first year I have ever been so opposed and seemingly thwarted by the enemy. It is also a year where so many doors are opening and God’s promises are being fulfilled. I can hardly keep up with it all!

    And then as I move forward in counseling for what seems to be similar to your journey, I am being asked to unclench my fists…..lift up my head……and trust.

    I find that every time I let go and take even one small step towrds Him, He meets me there! I never expect Him to, Always anticipating that I will find myself alone, and it never happens. He always shows up and I stand there in wonder.

    Thanks, Bonnie.
    Thank you Jesus…

  • Reply Cherry January 26, 2013 at 7:23 pm

    Bonnie, I really love your reference to Jesus using the two fish and the five loaves of bread, and comparing it to our bringing whatever we have to Him (even our brokenness, and our weaknesses) – and He will multiply and use us to bless others! So beautiful! Thank you for doing this with your blogging – taking what you have (while you are healing), and God will multiply it and use it for His purposes.

  • Reply Katy January 26, 2013 at 11:13 pm

    This is such a wonderful post–I love this take on the new year! I absolutely love the story of the loaves and the fishes, how Jesus can take even the smallest, broken pieces of our lives which we offer Him and turn them into something amazing–love that! And I love the connection to the new year–I totally relate! Thanks so much for giving us this lovely post and for taking the journey yourself to keep offering Him the pieces of your own life right now–many blessings to you!

  • Reply Uncle Kevin January 27, 2013 at 4:46 am

    Thanking God right now for His workmanship in creating you, Bonnie! And thank you for sharing your gift of writing with us. For inviting us to come alongside you in this journey we call life in an alien world. Know that your posts speak to men and women alike. That when I read your heart’s work, I feel like there’s a big red target right on me. There’s always blessings and convictions in your work for me! Praying God’s Will be done in your life.

  • Reply Bev G January 27, 2013 at 3:24 pm

    Hi Bonnie! I’m so glad I stopped by and read “fried rice” today… what a word of encouragement I found. I love how God takes all the broken pieces and . . . with faith i let go of the broken pieces to be a blessing because I am blessed!!

    so now anytime I enjoy a dish of fried rice . . . I will always have a reminder of how God can use even me! Thank you! 🙂

  • Reply Ann January 27, 2013 at 6:15 pm

    Hi Bonnie,

    Thank you for sharing this post. I continue to be fed by your words. We all experience brokenness in various ways, and can encourage each other.

    I would like to encourage you with something that has often been quoted by Elisabeth Elliot, which she heard from a speaker when she was in college:

    “If my life is broken when given to Jesus, it may be because pieces will feed a multitude when a loaf would satisfy only a little boy.”

    I am praying for you.

  • Reply Cynthia January 27, 2013 at 11:28 pm

    Hi Bonnie,
    Leftovers are the best part of the meal! The seasonings have had a chance to soak into the food and the taste is so much more flavorful. And, that’s exactly how our lives with Jesus should be–more flavorful than the day before. So, I don’t look at leftovers as a bad thing, keeping me away from the goals the Lord has placed in my life. Instead, they are tiny morsels of what we may have missed while forging our way along His path. Let’s gladly go back and revisit those old ways, with holy boldness, for they cannot hurt or trap us, as the Lord is our shield in life, death and every circumstance. Let us weep at His feet and place our hearts and souls on His altar. Thank you, Bonnie, for this post. It has reaffirmed my faith in writing and speaking my piece. I do not believe in coincidences. I have found you for a reason and I will savor the time I have with you and all of the other members of this blog. Many blessings to all!

  • Reply Melanie McKinley January 28, 2013 at 6:32 am

    Bonnie, I want you to know I too am in this season of healing. I am called into writing and speaking ministry but have held back because of my broken ness – well that and satan’s nasty attack on my mind. I want you to know your words are like a salve to my soul. Thank you for heeding the holy spirits whisper and moving forward to share your heart. Much Love,

    Melanie McKinley

  • Reply Hope January 29, 2013 at 12:40 pm

    This is so beautiful Bonnie. Amazing really. What an encouragement!!

  • Reply Michelle Clinton January 29, 2013 at 8:43 pm

    You always encourage me when I stop by your blog. Thank you for this reminder of the promises of God’s love. I needed to hear it, even though I’m having a hard time believing. As a momma of 3 spirited boys, I often fail ~ needed this reminder tonight.

    Much Love to You!

  • Reply Kim January 30, 2013 at 7:30 pm

    Bonnie, I am echoing so many here who feel this post has spoken to us right where we are. I have felt so encouraged and welcomed by the community you create here at Faith Barista, and like many people I have been fed by your words in ways that only God can do. This message you’re sharing in this post has been coming at me from so many different angles this year. God is doing something in my life, and while I’ve been waiting so long to move forward, I’m still digging in my heels because I’m afraid I’m still not good enough. You are ministering to our hearts by sharing what God is doing in you. Thank you, thank you, and God bless you. I pray today has been blessed and healing for you.

  • Reply When We’re Not Feeling Mighty Enough | Gospel Girls February 27, 2013 at 1:20 pm

    […] Thing We’re Waiting For (And Why It’s Time to Stop) and Bonnie’s What Fried Rice Taught Me About Brokenness and New Year’s Resolutions are both tugging at my heart this week. Share this:Like this:Like Loading… from → Being […]

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