Bonnie Gray
  • Stories
  • Soul Care Quiz
  • Breathe Podcast
  • Books
    • See All Bonnie Gray Books and Resources
    • Breathe: 21 Ways to Stress Less
    • Sweet Like Jasmine
    • Whispers of Rest Book
    • Finding Spiritual Whitespace
  • About
  • Speaking
  • Contact

Courage To Be Broken: My Real Thanksgiving List

By Bonnie Gray • November 12, 2013 • Comments Off on Courage To Be Broken: My Real Thanksgiving List


“Comes a time, on the journey, you wonder how you will survive.
There comes a time, when you’re thirsty and so alone… There is a pool in the desert, where water flows from fountains unseen. Saving water, healing water flowing over me.”  The Choir, Flowing Over Me

You don’t have to die, in order to feel like you’re not really living.

You can even be loved by the man of your dreams whose arms as husband gently encircle your waist every night in bed — you can love the world’s most beautiful two boys, the ones you’ll always remember resting warm and soft in the cradle of your neck as newborns — and yet feel something missing inside.

It’s hard to talk to other people about what you find difficult to face yourself.

They might think you’re being ungrateful.

They might think you’re not counting your blessings.

They might think your faith is broken.

But, it’s not that way at all.  

There is something deeper going on inside.

The Place Inside

I know what this is like.

To make it on my own. To be okay.

It’s a numbness.  In places no one can see.

It’s me from my childhood. Still alone.  Holding everything together.

It doesn’t show up at work, when I used to stand up making presentations in conference rooms.

It doesn’t show up when I’m hanging out with my friends, or even at church, where all is as it should be.

And if you saw me at the grocery store, or driving my kids to soccer, running errands, you would think all is fine.

This place inside me where I pull myself together is where I go whenever I’m feeling down, confused or stressed.

In the privacy of my soul — where my memories lay — lies the wounded me.

Greater Faith

You know, the month of November is the time of the year when we talk about being thankful.

But for someone like me, who is going through the journey of healing — having to remember all the people, places and stories that have wounded me — what I’m thankful for may not be what everyone else has on their list.

Before my journey through debilitating anxiety, I was able to ignore the undercurrent feeling of shame I’ve hidden…

 

To be continued…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

…To read the rest of the story “Courage To Be Broken: My Real Thanksgiving List” – click here to join me over at DaySpring’s (in)courage site, where today’s post is published.

Take a virtual coffee break together and share your thoughts. I’ve turned off comments here, so we can all meet up there!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

** Don’t miss! ** If you are new to Faith Barista, I’d like welcome you here.Click to subscribe by email and get each post in this series served up hot and fresh directly in your mailbox.

Photo credit: Flickr

brokennessholidaysthansgiving

Share With Others

Share Your Voice

Pull up a Chair

This is a quiet space for you and me. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Click to comment »

Get Faith Shots

Get each post served up hot and fresh in your mailbox.

[newsletter_signup_form id=0]

Set Your Heart Free: Write Your Journey
Four Movements To Be at Rest And Be Yourself

Connect with Me

Bonnie Gray

Welcome to Faith Barista – a blog that serves up shots of faith for everyday life. Posts brewed hot & fresh. Hang out. Swap some stories.

You Might Also Like

  • Give Yourself Grace: A Soul Care Tip For the Holidays

  • You Are Worth Taking Care Of

  • Why You Need to Be Gentle With Yourself

  • Five Simple Breath Prayers to Spark Thanksgiving Joy in Your Soul

    SUBSCRIBE TO MY BLOG

    Sign up to refresh your soul with God’s love and rest. I’ll send you encouragement to nurture your heart and wellbeing. I’ll cheer you on!

    SUBSCRIBE NOW»

    Pull up a chair. Refresh your soul. Be inspired with soul care, stories & encouragement here. Breathe. This is a quiet space to swap some stories. Share your journey. Be the beloved. Be you. Serving up shots of faith for everyday life.
    Bonnie Gray

    “Bonnie has often led the way to freedom and truth by going there first herself. Her ability to invite us in as readers into our own stories only makes this world a better, more healed place.” 

    – Annie F. Downs, New York Times bestselling author of That Sounds Fun

    “If you’ve ever been weary and needed room to breathe, then Bonnie Gray is the guide you’ve been looking for as you journey with Jesus to a new place of peace and freedom in your life.” 

    Holley Gerth, Wall Street Journal bestselling author of The Powerful Power of Introverts

    Order Now »

    LISTEN TO BONNIE’S BREATHE PODCAST

    VOTED 2022 CHRISTIAN BOOK AWARD FINALIST BY ECPA

    “In a world crying out for kindess and belonging, this is a book needed for our times. Sweet Like Jasmine is a gift, a beautiful remembrance, that God treasures each of our broken hearts in His sweeping story of redemption.” 

    – Ann Voskamp, New York Times bestselling author of The Broken Way

    Order Now »

    BONNIE IS A TRUSTED VOICE TO SO MANY – FEATURED ON

    Archives

    Compassion International Blogger

    Compassion International Blogger

    Sometimes it takes more faith for us to enter into a child's story than simply praying that it changes. Experience these stories unscripted.

    Read the stories»

    Facebook Twitter Google Plus Instagram RSS Pinterest
    Bonnie Gray

    Contact

    © 2018 Bonnie Gray. All rights reserved. Website by Contemplate Design | Privacy Policy
    Bonnie Gray
    • Stories
    • Soul Care Quiz
    • Breathe Podcast
    • Books
    • About
    • Speaking
    • Contact