I found a book while browsing the library shelves.
I’ve been culling titles of memoirs to read (have any to recommend?), while re-reading old fave stories like Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird, that read like her memoir.
I didn’t take it home with me, but the title Try To Tell Your Story clung to me, the way a tree-ripened peach picked in the heat of summer clings to the pit.
When I don’t know what to do, I’ve been learning to undo.
Undo trying hard,
undo second guessing myself,
undo living hidden.
All this undoing is leading me on a new path.
It’s the path to live this one life I have —
as the {Beloved}.
If I don’t want to leave here with regrets, I’m going to have to take the risk.
To tell my story.
By living it fully.
Even if I’m afraid.
To be the me God made.
In the secret place.
This quiet place is where I step into whitespace to feed my soul —
where I’m safe,
loved,
accepted and free,
as I am.
Let me show you.
Step into a photo journal of how God has touched my heart this month.
Here it is. It’s a word mosaic of all our One Words for 2014.
There were 101 of us who shared our One Words for 2014, linking up in the Faith Jam or commenting on the blog or on Facebook.
Reading your One Words blog posts/comments and putting this image together was one of the most touching moments this month. (The different sized words reflect how often a word was chosen.)
I felt this mosaic came alive like a symphony echoing each of our faith journeys — our childlike prayers, vulnerable heart desires whispering up into heaven, shared in community. (This isn’t the end of our One Word conversation. You’ve inspired me to think of ways we can journey together with our One Words.)
Because we journey together, I am not alone.
We must try to tell our stories.
It matters.
Finding our voice.
Time spent in {whitespace} — soulful alone time with God — to feed my soul.
I enjoy walking a trail.
It’s an easy way for me to quiet.
And in that space it’s easier to confide and allow God into my world.
And be in His.
With anxiety and healing both awakening my soul to life, I’ve been wanting to re-write some new memories with Josh (8) and Caleb (4).
I never had a strong desire before. But, I did all of a sudden one weekend.
I wanted to go ride the cable cars with Josh and Caleb.
I think when I get inspired with ideas I want to do with them, they are usually connected to my own childhood longings and desires.
I often brush them aside. But, not anymore.
Do you ever have a desire to re-write some childhood memories as an adult?
Look at those cutie pies. They don’t know how much pain I’ve traveled to be their mommy today.
One day, I will tell them all of my story and they will understand why I laugh big — why I smother their tummies with tickles and why I sometimes cry when I see them smiling and happy.
One side-effect of needing lots of quiet and space is that it’s prompted me to find new places to explore.
Soul rest has become central to becoming the {beloved}.
Before the boys went back to school, Eric and I took them out of town for a few days.
As we were driving up high into the mountains after dawn broke, the boys were still from sleep.
“Sunrise, sunrise
Looks like mornin’ in your eyes
But the clocks held 9:15 for hours…”
And I cried just a litle.
Just because in that moment.
I was happy.
You know how sometimes you just know that God knows what moves you?
And that moment might be fleeting. Or even faint.
But, you recognize it.
You feel known.
You feel you belong.
You feel God reaching out to touch your heart.
To let you know He sees you.
He understands.
And you wish you could hold onto that moment forever.
You want to believe it.
It’s okay.
He’s holding onto you.
No matter what.
{You are beloved.}
“I will lead the blind by ways they have not known,
along unfamiliar paths I will guide them;I will turn the darkness into light before them
and make the rough places smooth.
These are the things I will do;
I will not forsake them.”
Isaiah 42:16
~~~~~
How about you?
How has God touched your heart this month?
What are some moments that spoke into your story?
Pull up a chair. Enjoy a moment. Click to comment.
{ Psst… if you enjoy photo journaling, join me on Instagram. I just started sharing moments there and would enjoy your company.}
~~~~~~
A #BelovedChallenge: Enjoy some {Soul Rest}
Spend some time with God this week. Any way you want. Invite Him into your world. What feeds your soul?
**NOW, IT’S YOUR TURN — LINK UP IN THE FAITH JAM **
HTML Code For the Faith Jam Faith Fresh Badge
Faith Barista Jam Thursdays
1) I serve up a writing prompt. Let the topic soak in your heart, then publish your post the following Thursday and link up to share it with us. If you don’t have a blog, just write directly in the comments.
TO LINK UP: Click the blue button below: “Add Your Link” and type in the *specific* URL to your blog post (not just the name of your blog). (Subscribers: click here to get there directly).
2) Place the Faith Jam Badge in your post. It’s a welcome sign for our community, inviting others. Grab the HTML Code above. Thank you.
3) Then, pull up a chair. Visit the post before yours and say hi with a comment. Make a faith friend.
*Today’s Thursday 1/30/14 Writing prompt:
Photo Journal Your Heart. How has God been touching your heart this month? Share what you see.
Pick 5-10 photos and share a few comments each. There are no rules. Yours will be unique to you! Your {One Word for 2014} can inspire you too.Click here to see one example of photo journaling.*Next Thursday’s 2/6/14 Writing prompt :
It’s our open writing prompt: {Soul Rest}
Just write about anything that touches your heart during your 1-1 time with God.
Spend some time with God this week. Any way you want. Invite Him into your world. Share it with us.Approach it any way you feel inspired! Only required ingredient: keep it real. Click here to learn more.
** Don’t miss! ** If you are new to Faith Barista, I’d like welcome you here.Click to subscribe by email and get each post in this series served up hot and fresh directly in your mailbox.
Today’s post is part of Bonnie’s {Beloved} series, where becoming #thebeloved and #soulrest is the conversation. Click here for the entire {Beloved} series.
46 Comments
Oh it’s been a wild boat ride. I read your words here and feel like I’m reading my own story. I nod and say, “yup” to almost every word. The quiet space, re-writing childhood memories, journeying together, braving the fear(s), the God-moments. Knowing He knows.
You are my soul sister. Why and how he connected us is all Him.
It is amazing, isn’t it? Soul sister. “there is a (sister) that sticks closer than a brother”. So excited to have your photo journal in the faith jam. I know your heart speaks through photos… 🙂
[…] At Faith Barista: *Today’s Thursday 1/30/14 Writing prompt: Photo Journal Your Heart. How has God been touching your heart this month? Share what you see. […]
This has been wonderful. At the end of the year, I felt a lot of restlessness that you captured in several of your blog posts, and for the last several weeks, I’ve felt a spirit of movement and transformation that is reflected in your blog posts as well.
And this morning God spoke my word to me: Faith.
Faith-filled responses to everything, including trauma. Faith meaning that I surrender to love and compassion without abandon. Faith meaning that I trust in God to rewrite childhood memories.
Thanks, peace and blessings to Bonnie and all that come across Faith Barista!
Faith Katie. Faith Katie. Thank you for sharing the word God placed on your heart. And I feel so grateful to have you alongside this journey it sounds are so similiar. We are not alone. Let’s keep taking a step deeper into *faith*. Rewrite childhood memories. It’s a journey and I’m better knowing you on this as well! Thank you!
I’m letting myself speak out loud.
Secrets that I’ve held hostage for a very long time.
Believing that, to put them into words would ruin me.
And confirm that I’m a very bad little girl.
I’m finding its not so.
That Love especially seeks out the darkest,
most broken and ugliest places in me.
Seeks them out.
Doesn’t just wave them through.
Seeks them out.
And as I put the secrets into words
and let them go….
my head is down and my eyes averted
and my heart is beating way too fast.
and all I’m finding is Love.
I did not know He would hold me….
I remember the time of “remembering” and even speaking it forth to a few trusted people. What a precious time you are in. God bless you Brave One.
Julie. Oh my goodness. Julie. You’re making my heart beat with your words. I feel what you’re feeling. I’m walking through what you’re saying. “Believing that, to put them into words would ruin me.” and yes this … “my heart is beating way too fast and all I’m finding is Love. I did not know He would hold me…” Beautiful, beautiful, real, true. Amazing — *you*. Will you collect these words on your blog — keep them somewhere to sing the song in your heart, friend? Thank you for this. such a gift. to have this sing here at Faith Barista.
Bonnie, The ‘word picture’ is simply Awesome. It makes me cry. To see my word from Jesus sitting within a community of words from Jesus, after being so traumatically damaged by ‘church-goers’, is profoundly moving. Profoundly. This community gives me a little glimmer of hope. With every blessing xxx
It’s good to know we belong. You belong. You let me know that I belong too. Jesus gives us freedom to belong. So sorry for the hurt you didn’t deserve. It’s happened to me too, friend. There is hope. 🙂 There is a community that is real. Don’t give up looking to find that place, Wendy. Yes, look at the word picture and let it remind you. We’re here for you on your journey.
[…] discovered/rediscovered the Faith Barista this morning (her newsletter ended up in my junk folder in email. . . . hmmm. Wonder how that […]
Undoing–it’s not a concept I think much about, but it’s one I need to practice more. I have some undoing that I want to work through the next month about some past religious experiences that were somewhat toxic. Thanks for getting me started on the path again.
I love the mosaic of all our One Words. It feels good to belong.
Oh, boy. Sounds like God is prompting you too. Undoing. Toxic. Oh yeah. Now, there are some unwritten blog posts to be written. 😉 Well, think of it this way — as you step through it — you’ll leave a wake of stories — new stories to be told, written and shared of your blog with us! And yes, so glad I can see you in our mosaic. It feels to good to belong (ain’t that so true!)
[…] usual, I don’t have much time to write today, but the Faith Barista reminded me that sometimes we can share bits of our journey simply through photos and staying […]
As always, you have touched a deep cord in my heart, Bonnie. Thank you for making this place a “home” where the real me is accepted. For encouraging us to be the “me” God created and to tell our story even though we’re afraid. I have so much “undoing” to do and it helps to know there are others who understand.
Thanks for making this a space that’s real with your company, Trudy!
Hello. Something I LOVE to do, is to sit with Abba (as His Beloved) and listen to whatever His heart desires to speak to me and often to others. The Posters in this entry touched my spirit and I wanted to use as many as I could in a writing. Read it as if the Heart of Abba was speaking to us…I hope you enjoy it. I had fun doing it.
Beloved,
Each time one of My Children come to Me in worship and draw near in obedient trust, they will always find that all of my promises are true. Precious One, my plans for you are good. My desire is to bless you beyond anything you could imagine. Each time you come you will enter that place of total acceptance where long lost or hidden hopes and dreams are awakened and come to life. There is always renewal, heart renewal found within each time of coming.
I am Light and Love. My love for you is boundless, bold and full of Joy. Yes, Beloved Ones, I delight in you. I am always welcoming and inviting you to simply come to Me. I am always present to you and my desire is for you to come and simply “be” present with Me. In order to be present with me, you will need to lay aside the concerns of that day, that week, that month.
Each time of coming there will be an impartation of peace, rest and renewal. My desire is to nourish your heart, your mind and your body. To prepare you to overcome every single thing, past present and future which life has thrown at you. I have more for you than you can ask or imagine. There is healing and grace in My presence. Beloved, be intentional and undaunted in your coming to Me.
Of course there will be times when you do not feel worthy of My love. Press past that feeling. Persevere in spite of how you feel.
Believe that The Word is true.
The Word says that I LOVE you.
The Word says that I am Emmanuel, God With You.
My grace has already prepared the way for all who come seeking after Me.
I am YOUR Savior.
You are Redeemed.
I am the God of Compassion and you can come with confidence before the throne to receive grace for EVERY need.
Precious daughter, sometimes the very act of coming will feel like you are traversing a crucible of fire. In a way you are. The reward is Refuge and renewal. You are an overcomer; you overcome by the Word of your testimony. At first coming may feel very awkward…but each time you yield your awkwardness and even fear and come there will be a transition, a shifting, a trading of your “stuff” for mine. You heart will begin to leap in joy just anticipating the times of “coming”. You will begin to be devoted to the coming. Your heart will long more and more to step aside, to move and remove (for a time) yourself from the world and languish in My Love.
Let Me love you. Let Me love on you. Bring all that you are into My presence. Receive and follow the invitation, which is always open to My Beloved Ones. The sorrow, the hurt the pain the need will be removed and you will go forth able to count it all joy (whatever life brings) because you will come to realize that it is true… what the enemy meant for evil has been redeemed by My Love.
You heart has become devoted to two things, being with Me and sharing that with others. In fact as The Word says, streams of Living Water will begin to overflow from you.
What a beautiful entry. From your heart, Dodi! Have you considered starting a blog to capture all God’s touched your heart with? You are a writer! 🙂
Bonnie, if I told you the ways that God has touched my heart this month, I would end up writing a small novel. Suffice it to say, that He has shown me HIMSELF through some sad and difficult days. My father’s passing has been a difficult and unfamiliar path to walk. But, I have indeed found that God is there before me, leading me every step of the way. And when I need to stop and rest, He stops and waits and speaks.
GOD BLESS!
Oh, you need to write that novel, friend! 🙂 …. well, you’re writing it here at Faith Barista — and on your blog. Such a sweet connection you share with Jesus!
Normally I’m the one that smiles at random strangers as I walk by. But this morning and yesterday morning, I had someone smile and say hello to me. And it was just what I needed. It is such a small gesture, but it made me feel noticed and cared for.
You are princess Morag. Noticed, beloved, and special. I’m glad someone was able to give you a token of that truth — in a simple smile last week. So glad your voice is here.
God touched me one day this month by undoing my plan for one Tuesday. I wrote about it over at my blog, From the Inside Out, on January 23–“Blessed Are the Flexible.”
http://nancyaruegg.com/2014/01/23/blessed-are-the-flexible/
God does indeed know me and understand!
Thanks for sharing this, Nancy! Love how you’re out telling His story in you.
Bonnie!
I love the word mural. What a labor of love for all of us. It was a blessing and a gift to come here and see all of us woven into one beautiful community of words and to read through the cries of hearts of others here at Faith Jam. God hears each of those cries. It makes me think of Ps 37 where He promises to give us the desires of our heart. He transforms our hearts and then He plants desires and He fulfills those very desires as a good gardener harvests from the plantings of his own hands. What we desire is Him and all these longings are our paths to Him in this year, together. God bless you again and again for courageously and faithfully opening this space for all of us.
I love writing here with you, kindred spirit! It is a labor of love – our word mural. You hear the symphony too! 🙂 So glad you’re a song singing in the music score of faith shared here, Patty!
[…] Journey in Photos My friend, Bonnie, over at Faith Barista is asking Thursday Faith Jammers to “Photo Journal Your Heart” this month. I decided to share my January journey. Here it is: #gallery-1{margin:auto}#gallery-1 […]
Bonnie,
I love the word picture! What a wonderful idea! Well, this year has been one of the hardest years and one of the most fulfilling years. It is all God! Allowing Him to be first in my life has pulled me through numerous storms and broken many chains. I am thankful when I look back. And, surprisingly, I have been able to be thankful during many of the storms. I think this thankfulness and spending time at His Feet, have given me more joy, courage, love and forgiveness. This year, I hope to increase my joy and spend more time just “being” with our Father. Thank you, for inspiring all of us to be more of what the Lord has created us to be. Much joy! Cynthia
Thank you for inspiring us with your one word, Cynthia — and the real journey you’re walking through. Thank you for expressing your inner world through your art. Don’t stop creating. It gives me courage to make my art too. No matter what each day brings. 🙂
Dear Bonnie,
The LORD touches me regularly through your writing and art. Thank you for sharing the hope (and talent) He’s given you. I loved the 2014 Word collage. I had to share your writing and art with a new friend of mine today, someone battling the ‘fog’ who perhaps just needed some encouragement and consolation, to know that she is not alone, that the ‘fog’ may indeed just be His Loving, Caring Presence. Praise the LORD Who goes before us and is our rear guard. The bolts of our gates be as bronze and iron and we will have strength for our days in Christ Jesus. Thank God for His Favor:)
Dear Lisa, thank you for being part of this new journey I’m on to speak from my heart and find friends to connect with. Thank you for being part of the living journey of the 2-014 Word collage. You make it real. Thank you for sharing with your friend about the “fog” and I am praying right now a word for you and your friend. Lord Jesus, may you take care of Lisa’s heart as she is pouring out to her friend. I pray for her friend who is walking through the fog I pray she can hear your whisper and even when she can’t, she can hear her friend Lisa who loves and cares for her. Thank you for this friendship. In your name, Amen.
rejoicing as God continues to lead you in the way you must go, into healing and wholeness and truth, and how He allows you to share with those who need to hear, and know that He is good.
🙂 so grateful … pinching myself. am I really here? and am I really loved and accepted as i am? your words give me courage to say “yes”. how was your trip last year to see blogosphere friends in the skin? i’ve been meaning to ask you… thought of you that week. 😉
a bit of how things went is posted here:
http://hisfirefly.blogspot.ca/2013/12/hands-captured-open.html
Bonnie,
I love the word picture. It brought tears to my eyes as I thought how beautiful each of are on this sweet journey. I have missed the past two weeks of not writing my faithjam and can’t wait to join back again But I have been so enjoyi g your posts and your sharing of heart. You have touched my heart and helped me allow Jesus in my seeking heart to see mess and all. It has been quite a journey as we have finally found answers to my son’s health crisis and taught me to take leaps of faith .
Oh, Tammy! I was glad to read the last sentence about your son. What you’ve been through… I hope this week you can breathe a pause of rest? So many stories represented through those words in our mosaic — and I’m glad your song is part of that symphony here. (hugs)
Sharing our OLW with a community is so important! It gives us a sense of belonging and we receive encouragement from ours, especially those with the same word. The word cloud is cool. My word is in there, small. But I don’t care…it’s big to me 😉 Jeri
Oh, it just means you got a very special — just for you word. Are you #beloved! 🙂 So happy you’re a part of my one word community, Jeri!
I absolutely LOVE the mosaic Bonnie! I want to print it off and frame it! 🙂
It makes me feel like I”m really apart of an amazing community of people and we’re all in this journey together!
And.. the picture of your boys with the trolley is so sweet. I love being able to watch my son experience things for the first time. It makes the things that are so “everyday” to us become fresh and new. 🙂
Krista!! I can’t wait to read your post from last week. I want to see your photo journal of your world. When we were pregnant with our second, we were PRAYING for a boy… so we can have Josh and Caleb! 🙂 Their names have been a continual reminder for me to step into the promise land. Because I have two little ones who are following me, I think of them when I want to give up. I want them to have a new journey in their childhood. One of faith and freedom and courage. Not because I’m strong, but because God is strong. Even when I am weak. How old is your son? I will have to see if he is in your photo journal post. 😉
I love it! You’re boys have such strong biblical names! 🙂
My son just turned 9 in December! He’s my one and only unless you count my hubby lol.
😉
[…] at Faith Jam #TellHisStory Thought-Provoking Thursday Spiritual Sundays Share […]
I like your “undoing” thoughts. That may have something for me too. I loved seeing your boys and seeing how God gave you such brave names for them long before you knew you would face this PTSD journey. They remind me of my youngest nephews. 🙂 May God grow them into men of faith just like their namesakes and heal you through your journey with them as their mama. Grace and peace to you in Christ Jesus, Bonnie.
Yes. When we were pregnant with our second, we were PRAYING for a boy… so we can have Josh and Caleb! 🙂 Their names have been a continual reminder for me to step into the promise land. Because I have two little ones who are following me. I can’t deny it, it’s on my mind everytime I want to give up. I want them to have a new journey in their childhood. Oneof faith and freedom and courage. Not because I’m strong, but because God is strong. Even when I am weak. How are you doing in your recovery, friend?
Thank you for asking, Bonnie. As far as last fall’s surgery, I seem to be back to normal. I haven’t had any problems from rich or spicy food in nearly a month now. My joints and tendons are still behaving badly; the new treatments aren’t showing benefits yet. God is indeed strong even when we are weak.
Many blessings on your weekend!
[…] Bonnie, the Faith Barista, announced the prompt for this week – photo journaling – she linked back to a post on […]