“… in times of stress and change…You are going to require extra TLC. And the way you grow and thrive is different from anyone else, so it’s up to you to know what you need. No one else can do it for you.”
~ Holley Gerth, in her newly released bookYou’re Going To Be Okay
I had a hard time typing the title of today’s post.
The {Beloved} needs TLC.
Hmm… I would have finished that sentence differently if I wanted to write about something easier.
I could probably write volumes on this title instead —
The {Beloved} needs to care for others.
Maybe that’s why the word {Beloved} both draws me and also feels awkward at the same time.
I’m more at ease seeing myself as God’s servant rather than living as His beloved.
Yet, the journey of the soul I’ve traveling through puts me on a path of change: a major identity shift.
Be. Loved.
{Be the Beloved}
ABC For the Soul
In order to heal and give myself permission to be me, I’m learning something as basic as the ABC.
ABC for the soul.
I’m starting from scratch.
I’m learning to give myself something I missed somewhere along the way, in my story.
I need TLC.
TLC. It sure doesn’t sound very spiritual to me.
Really, God?
Doesn’t this sound kinda immature? Like I’m a kid? Unable to do “grown up things”?
TLC, huh?
Can you give me some verification here on this message? I prayed.
What if this is just me imagining things — because I’m selfish and just want to be pampered?
These are the quiet questions I’ve been asking God — in the privacy of my heart — as I see myself grow stronger with each movement I take as The Beloved.
Holding My Breath
You see, I’m afraid of changing the way I’ve always done life.
It’s always been good to double-check to make sure what I’m doing is approved by others.
And if others are not happy, I find it very hard to give myself permission to be happy.
It’s like I’m always holding my breath, not sure if it’s totally okay.
Because, well, I’m pretty un-perfect.
If everyone else is taken care of — if I don’t draw too much attention or need too much — then I’ll be content with the left overs.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not a martyr.
But this is how joy’s felt “right” to me.
It’s conditional. Dependent on how everyone else is doing around me.
A Big Change
The truth is — these people I’m talking about isn’t my husband or the close friends who’ve encouraged and cheered for me along the way.
This way of thinking about joy is the way I’ve survived in the past. Growing up as a child.
That was the type of home I grew up in.
And so, it’s time for a change.
A big one.
I’m not very sure about this new way, friends.
What if people don’t like this new, happy version of me?
I find myself fighting feelings of guilt.
But, the other night, I had an ah-ha moment.
Ah-ha Moment
Hubby and I were both in bed doing our relaxing reading before lights out.
I was reading a parenting book while he was reading the news.
“Hey, honey. Listen to this…. This is SO interesting … “
Then, I attempted to read him an excerpt.
“Just a little bit, ‘k? I promise, it won’t be long.” I try to get Eric interested, but he looks like he ate a bad egg.
“Honey, I’ve had a long day today. Can you tell me tomorrow? I don’t want to get all stressed out thinking about parenting stuff right now before bed.” He looks pleadingly at me… to let him off the hook.
“No worries…” I smile.
As I turn back to my book, it dawns on me. Eric de-stresses by reading the news. That’s the last thing I’d want to read before bed.
And my ah-ha moment comes.
I like reading about parenting. It doesn’t stress me out.
Why?
I make a connection. I don’t think I was ever really parented. I parented myself, you know what I mean?
So, I’m fascinated to learn.
To wrestle and think through how I want to parent my boys.
The way I would’ve wanted to be parented.
And I realize, one of the biggest things I can do for myself — is to allow God to parent me now.
With TLC.
TLC
My Loving Abba Father sees me as His Beloved.
My Loving Abba Father is loving me back to life with TLC.
Especially in the midst of stress. When I feel least deserving.
What does TLC feel like to me?
If I believe God loves me — not just in my head, but in my heart — how can I allow God to love me through my real everyday actions?
What changes can I make to experience God’s TLC — with the same interest and passion I use to parent Josh and Caleb with TLC?
February is the month of love — and I’ll be sharing some changes I’m making to let God’s TLC into my life.
This TLC journey is taking me into unchartered territory, filled with excitement and joy, as well as fear and doubt.
I’m learning mixed feelings is part of the journey.
Because true love from God’s heart is mysterious, unbelievable, dizzyingly too-good-to-be-true-and-yet-it-is-true goodness I’ve never known.
It takes faith to walk up close to God with the innocence of a child.
It takes faith to receive TLC.
It takes faith to {be loved}.
“Now suppose one of you fathers is asked by his son for a fish; he will not give him a snake instead of a fish, will he?
Or if he is asked for an egg, he will not give him a scorpion, will he?
If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?” Luke 11:11
“Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above,
coming down from the Father of lights,
with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.”
James1:17
You’re Going To Be Okay
One morning, almost two years ago, I confided in my friend Holley Gerth about about my panic attacks, “Holley, I’m scared. I don’t want to be the PTSD girl…”. I’ll always remember the words she spoke into the phone that tear-choked morning, “Bonnie. PTSD isn’t who you are. It’s just where you are right now.”
It changed my whole perspective on this journey I’m on. And today a lot of what she’s shared with me as girlfriend, she’s expanded many times over in a new book releasing today. Her new book is called You’re Going To Be Okay: Encouraging Truth Your Heart Needs to Hear, Especially on the Hard Days.
Her words gave me courage to believe what I knew in my head, but was too afraid to believe in my heart. If you’re looking for a book to encourage your heart, Holley’s words will be your friend through these pages and on her blog Heart to Heart. One of my favorite chapters is You Can Make The Most of Change because that is where she asks the question: What do you need most right now?
~~~~~
Let’s share. You are {The Beloved}.
What do you need most right now?
Pull up a chair. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Click to comment.
~~~~~
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{ Today’s post is part of Bonnie’s {Beloved} series, where becoming #thebeloved is the conversation. Click here for the entire {Beloved} series. }
Photo credit: irinaloveangel via Photobucket.
53 Comments
A soaking bath, and a nice long massage… I think that’s what I need most right now.
It’s been a stressful month, an intense few weeks, and I pulled up my big girl panties to complete a hard task yesterday, only to have a family member want it altered… Adding an ex-step-brother to an obituary, that’s already been sent to the paper. I don’t know if it can be changed or not… But I feel I have to try this morning.
Let’s add a carb laden meal and a nap to the list on top… Please??
((Thanks! I’ll add a few of these elements to my day today!))
Oh, man. That does sound intense. So. Yes. and double Yes, girl: add those TLC moments in! For sure, okay Marina? Me, I’m gonna enjoy some buttered toast and boysenberry jam right now after this comment. And I’m going to take a long hot shower and do some writing (kids are packed and off to school). And I am going to meet a friend for dinner tonight. On a weeknight too! 🙂
Thanks Bonnie. You help me so much when I read your beautiful experiences, and being God’s Beloved Daughter is life changing. I went on a Gestalt Journey into Healing Course, because of anxiety and panic attacks. I received a lot of inner healing. Not enough, but thankful that God did meet me there, to know healing is a process and a journey which we all travel. They asked us to pray for a new name and ‘bingo’ I found it in from you ‘Beloved’ is the name . It touches my heart to know that God loves me as much as He loved His precious Son Jesus. ‘ This is my Beloved Son and [ daughter] in whom I am well pleased. WOW . Today like you I feel I need some T L C and it’s good to know that I can acknowledge my need. Bless you and thank you for sharing so much of your life. It brings Goodness , Love and Mercy into our lives .Maria xxxxxx
Ooh… that sounds interesting… I’m gonna google about that. I know what the Gestalt principle is… but a Gestalt journey? fascinating. Keep TLC’ing Maria. And yes, it’s not a bad word. It’s good for the soul. *need* 🙂 (hugs)
Oh, Bonnie, I so resonate with you. It has been awhile since I really was at that place where it was scary. I am almost 50 now (did I just say that?) and speaking from the other side of that place of standing at the edge and trusting to step right off…I want to tell you it really will be OK. When we take that step, as you have…and trust the unknown, He shows himself faithful. ANd underneath His everlasting arms will hold you up, or give you wings, or maybe both. Learning still to trust daily, and I also was not parented…and relate once more to your journey. Hugs and so glad you have a Holly to lift you with words that are so GRACE based and affirming! This is so key! Love and Grace to you in abundance! Dawn
You — 50? Get out of town. 😉 I plan to be forever young and spring inside. I’m so glad you still remember when it was scary as well as standing on the other side now… because now you hold a whole story in you…. yes, that book.. 🙂 Love you Dawn… and I love your new digs! Totally Awesome.
PS, I have a new blog…but it’s still just the same old me! lol
It’s like you read my mind…..but you are a lot further ahead than I am, in believing that you don’t have to earn God’s love. I live in a constant state of “what do people need?”….trying to meet others needs is how I compensated for the lack of my own needs being met my entire life. I don’t know how to tell anyone what I need, how to ask for help, even God. It feels selfish. Un-Christlike to think of myself. And I feel like I’m going to go crazy. It doesn’t help that we are expecting up to a foot of snow today,,,and I already stuggle with the winter blues. I know God will catch me…but I feel like I’ve been in a freefall for a while…like in a bad dream and you just want to wake up. Thanks for your honesty, Bonnie.
Shari! So wonderful to hear from you. I totally know what you mean. Sleep walking almost yet can’t wake up. right? Well, you are waking up a little here. With us. We hear your voice. What is the TLC you’d like today? You are His Beloved. You are Christ-like because Christ is in you. And He sees your need. Even if it’s as simple as taking a bath. Or choosing what you’ll have for lunch today. Or how about doing some writing. Do you journal? Have you thought of starting a blog. Just to express your heart. As you know, that’s a big part of my TLC. Writing is good for the soul. And I can hear your voice so alive in your words. Just a thought. 🙂
Bonnie,
Good Morning! I was cleaning out my email inbox, and saw the notification of your reply. I did read it last month, thank you for taking the time to respond. Just to let you know, God gave me a word….my “name”, what He wants me to know He calls me…and it is the name “Darlin’ “…like a country music song. Nobody else has ever called me that name, so I know it was Jesus when I “heard” it. A couple of weeks later, I heard him whisper “Isaiah 54″ when I prayed before reading the Word…’what do You want me to hear from YOU today?”. Though my circumstances haven’t ‘changed’ and the “challenging” family relationships in my life, remain, I am learning to “fix my eyes on Jesus’ more and more, I think. I don’t know if you have ever trained a puppy, but I have had a few questionably successful attempts with our dogs over the years. I now have a 3 year old basset hound, named Maybelle. When I took her to the Perfect Puppy Obedience School (ha!) the first thing the trainer said to do was to teach our dogs to stop and look at us when we said “Look at me”…before any other commands were taught. Of course, we had training treats held next to our eyes, but I was amazed at Maybelle’s attention to me. She can be very obstinate, stubborn and naughty, so I will always have to remind her of that command on a daily basis….”Maybelle, LOOK AT ME”. It struck me that as I wake, and go about my day, and retire at night….Jesus is saying to my heart “Shari….LOOK AT ME”….and then I can truly listen to HIS WORDS and not the Enemy’s lies in my heart and mind. I do journal, but I also paint. God gave me a studio space in Dec 2013, and it has been a part of my becoming my “authentic self’. I don’t think I will ever blog, but someday I will have an artist website,, and maybe you can click on the link someday to see what GOD has done in HIs Faithfulness to this child of HIs.
Have a blessed day, Bonnie. I can’t wait for your book to be released!
Abiding in HIM,
Shari
I have to admit it’s been very hard the last few years. I have decided to embrace this time in my life as a time of learning and growing. But it’s not what I had anticipated at all. But God’s interruptions can be divine interruptions. I’ve learned that and read about that in my Bible.
I love that you are so interested in being a good parent since you didn’t have that as a child. How often we do for others what we need for ourselves. Sometimes what I need is simply a hug and a kind word; no expectations …just love. My Abba Daddy gives that to me.
Blessings and love,
Debbie
PS. I will have to check out this book.
I know. We are the wounded lovers of God. We love out of our wounds. Like Jesus did. What is TLC for you right now, friend? Hope you have some today or this week, Debbie. You are His Beloved. And we love you too!
I can relate to reading about parenting too and for same reasons. What I need most now is clarity. I need clarity about continuing a leadership role though 2/3 way done when it gives me no joy and I crave freedom to do more for people on personal level. I have stayed so I do not have title of quitter and make a few lives harder. Ugh. I would love your prayers for wisdom and clarity as to stick it out or quit.
Cathy. I’ve been where you’re at. This is a very hard place to be. Torn. Clarity. A wise prayer request. Lord Jesus, you know how awful a place Cathy is. I pray you give her some direction to bring her heart some freedom and peace. Give her clarity. Even if that clarity means a step of faith when she cannot see ahead. Thank you for how you love her. She is your Beloved. In your name, Amen.
Hi, Bonnie! ‘d like to thank you for your blog. Your previous post about The One Word for 2014 is what got me back into blogging. I have been looking forward to these daily shots, and I think this is what I most need right now–daily shots of faith to get me going through another day as a fulltime parent to 2 precocious preschool girls and breast-cancer-survivor-in-recovery. This, plus a “Pause” button that I can just press whenever I need to during the day–just to rest, to breathe, be still…I am also learning to be a child again, and just to allow myself to be taken care of this time by my Abba, Father. It just feels wonderful to be so cherished and pampered for not other reason except that I am His beloved child and that I need not work so hard to earn it. It feels good to belong. Thank you for the daily inspiration.
Pauleen, I can’t tell you how happy that makes me. That something I love to do can also prompt something you love to do — in you. Writing is TLC, isn’t it? 🙂 I would love for you to share it in the Faith Jam this Thursday and link up that post? We have an open writing prompt called {soul rest}. You just share what’s on your heart this week in your 1-1 time with God. Your voice would really bless our community here. Just place a badge on your post and at the end of Thursday, you’ll see a button to link up. More here: https://www.thebonniegray.com/join-faith-barista-jam-thursdays/ .. let’s blog together, friend!
I found your blog by chance a few months ago. Whoa, I was stunned. While we are on very different paths, I was so moved by your story. It seems everything you write speaks directly to me.
The thought that I might need a little TLC? No way, absolutely out of the question. That is much too selfish. I have 3 teenagers, a husband with a high power, high stress career in the tech industry. THEY all need to be taken care of. Not me. I, too, am very un-perfect and undeserving. Like you, I am content with the leftovers of everyone else’s happiness.
But God spoke to me a few days ago. In the silence. He told me he loves me. ME? Why would he love me? I cannot fathom why the creator of the universe would (or even could) love me. He loves me. Even if my marriage of 20 years is falling apart, God loves me. Even on those day when I’m not “super mom”, he still loves me. Even when I fail him, God still loves ME… and his love is sustaining and WILL be enough for me. I just have to learn to open up my heart and LET him love me. I think now is the time.
Thank you for using your journey to minister to others who are hurting. Many Blessings.
*goosebumps* Deb. It’s so amazing how much God loves us. He can touch us. *just like that*. No matter how many years it’s been. His voice can reach us. And it’s undeniably Him. Good. Unbelievably familiar yet odd and new. So glad you’re connected. And so amazing to hear all God is speaking into your journey. Let’s TLC. And encourage each other. TLC. ABC. 😉
I need to KNOW and be AWARE that I am “Beloved”. All the time. Any time. No matter what.
I NEED tangible awareness of Emmanuel. But maybe more than that I NEED to be more like Kason who is almost 2.This morning I was writing about Kason… sharing here…Thinking about planting my tulip bulbs today.
Thinking about Kason helping me.
Thinking that Kason is still in the season of “object permanence”.
We often play “hide the blankey” or some other object.
Daddy and Mommy go to “at work” and return.
MeMe comes and goes.
Paw is usually at Paw’s home.
YaYa, who is very real comes and goes.
Kason knows and trusts this.
But he likes to “discover” what is hidden.
He wants to SEE it and TOUCH it.
But Kason never doubts that Daddy and Mommy WILL still exist. “Blankey” will always show up. Kason is a very secure little boy.
I am thinking more likely than not if I let Kason help me plant those bulbs, he will want the game to be “dig them back up”.
We shall see, depending on the weather.
How like that are we with our Abba?
We “know” he is Emmanuel, God With Us.
But sometimes we can’t see Him.
Then we may get all discouraged.
Or we may frantically begin “looking” for Him in the last place we “saw” him.
What if we could choose, as His Beloved sons or daughters, to simply TRUST that He really is Emmanuel, God with us even when our “object permanence” is skewed and we can’t “see” Him?
What if we simply leaned on HIM during every moment especially those difficult ones?
Just thinking this morning as I get ready to go “be” with Kason.
Have a great day, Dodi!
Thank you, Bonnie. I so need to learn to “Be the Beloved.” I, too, don’t allow myself to be happy when others around me aren’t happy. I would much rather be the one who cares for others than to be the one who receives TLC. I feel guilty to even ask for it. I feel selfish and like I don’t deserve it. I have so many mixed up feelings.
I’m so glad Holley is your friend. I have been blessed by her books and am looking forward to this new one.
I totally know what you’re talking about. We can do it. TLC. ABC. TLC. You do deserve it. Just because. You are the Beloved, Trudy. Follow that TLC prompt in you. It may not happen everytime. Just think today. Once. Follow that voice. Great you’re voicing it here. It’s real. You are real!
Thank you so much for this message. I know that it is straight from God. God has been speaking to me through bloggers, emails and other things. I just needed this word from him today. Thank you so much.
Have a great day, Cynthia. We’re on this journey together! 🙂
I loved your blog today! I am beginning to say it is OK to be kind to me as well as others.
I just ordered Holly’s new book….
My word for the year is JOY, and God is teaching me to embrace JOY in my daily life and extract it from my memory bank.
Yesterday, it snowed here huge…and it prompted writing a short piece on snow…and ,the very brief, but wonderful memory from a very abusive childhood.
God is showing me JOY in all things and His loving hand upon me.
Everything is Grace,
Colleen
Oh, wow. Colleen. That is so beautiful. So real. And so good for the soul. I love your word “JOY” and how it is real and alive in your story. Deep joy. Do you mind sharing it in the Faith Jam this Thursday and link up that post? We have an open writing prompt called {soul rest}. You just share what’s on your heart this week in your 1-1 time with God. It would really bless our community here. Just place a badge on your post and at the end of Thursday, you’ll see a button to link up. More here: https://www.thebonniegray.com/join-faith-barista-jam-thursdays/
I so needed to read this right now! I am going to be thinking on this question all day. I am not sure exactly what it is I need right now. But I am feeling the need for some TLC for sure! Holley’s book looks so great and I am planning to get it soon to go through with a friend of mine.
That is great Bonnie, that you are seeing how to be loved. I struggle with similar thoughts as I learn to just BE. Rest and allowing God to care for me in the way I need is not wrong or selfish. Instead it heals me, rebuilds me and allows me to be able to be a used by him to love others more effectively. From a place of wholeness.
Yep. We’re on the same journey. To be. TLC… yes… I hope you think of somehting friend. And then, do it. 😉 btw, I got your email and I am so happy you shared. I’ll be in touch soon, friend! xoxo
Dear Bonnie,
I literally broke down and cried as I read your words today. I am experiencing a major identity shift. And I can honestly say that I am going to write these things down on 3″x5″ cards; “I need to give myself permission to be me,” “I am starting from scratch,” “I’m learning to give myself something I missed somewhere along the way, in my story,” and “I need TLC.” I will read them to myself to remind me of the truth when I start to beat up on myself because I have so many things to learn about myself and life that I did not learn or receive growing up. Thank you so much for being so honest, transparent, and real.
Cleansing tears, coming out from your sou. You are #soulbeautiful. I hope you hear those words deep from within as you give yourself permission to “be me”. This is a journey, so let’s be patient with ourselves. Don’t give up, Linda. You’re not alone. TLC. ABC. TLC. TLC… 😉
Thank you, Bonnie! I don’t have many more words than that and I am so thankful to read your words of hope. I feel so blessed today even though everything doesn’t feel ‘alright.’ I feel God’s peace and Him working in my life through so many sources. Your words are light. Merci!
Merci, mon amie Dee! 🙂
I appreciate you inviting us along your journey to live as the beloved. Asking for TLC is hard when you’re used to being the giver of TLC. I can even give it to myself much more easily than to ask for it from others. I just realized recently how isolated I’ve become in the past year. It felt so hard to even tell my best friends that I was so emotionally needy at this time. Hard, but healthy. I’m learning to be the beloved along with you. Thank you.
Deb Weaver
It is hard. Emotionally needy is vulnerable. But, it’s good for our soul. If we can just find one. Even that one helps gets us through. Really appreciate your sharing, Deb.
Just wanted to put this out there. The TLC I most need is to be held, without having to protect myself from an alternative agenda. I’ve been single for 18 years because of past abusive relationships. Thank you so much Bonnie for all your encouragement and words of truth. Bless you for stepping forward and encouraging us all to find a voice with which to approach Our Father.
Man, I am so sorry you had to suffer through those relationships. Being held is definitely something we all long for and crave. (hugs)
I wish I knew what I needed right now. So not in a good place. And don’t care. I am so angry at God. I am so tired of life. I think it’s stupid. Why? The big question of life. The original question: why make the devil in the first place? Or with Joseph, went through all the pain and evil to save his family etc. Why a famine in the first place? Why not tell jacob to move like he told Abraham? I feel like Job (again) asking all the questions that God says to him, “do you know how to make snow?” etc. No, I don’t and I don’t care. I can’t even put into words what I am going through.
Hi Rebecca, it sounds like you’re in a really hard place right now and I’m sorry you have to go through it all. I think all your questions are ones we all ask when we’re suffering. Sometimes the best thing we can do when we’re in pain is just to be with someone who understands and can handle the why questions coming out of us. And just accept us in the hard moments. Someone we can just go have a cup of coffee, or go out for Thai and can just listen.
Rebecca, you are in a very tough and painful place. This image may not help but when a small child is so angry and experiencing feelings that are controlling them, what does a loving parent do? Whatever they would do, Your Heavenly Father is doing better. A small child doesn’thave to prepare or educate their parent for the temper tantrum, tthey just have it. I hope you are able to feel a sort of hope despite your temporary circumstances xx
Wendy, this was beautiful! So glad you added this. It encourages me! 😉
Bonnie, I feel like I’ve gotten to know you over these few short weeks I’ve been reading your blog. And I’m continually amazed how your words speak to my heart. Yesterday was an immensely tough day for me–so tough that I’m not questioning all the decisions I’ve made over the past several months and where I’ll be going over the next few years. I feel overwhelmed and discouraged and sometimes just want to curl up in a ball and give up. And maybe that’s a little bit ok. Not to give up, but to take some time to rest and care for myself during this stressful time. It’s ok to just need some time to sort through things, allowing myself to feel the full range of emotions while things are hard. And prayer you can share would be greatly appreciated. I’m really trying to believe that God still love me even in the midst of these really tough days. Thank you again for your words.
Totally, totally ok. Girl, it sounds like you *are* going through something so, so overwhelming. Gosh, just let yourself crash — rest — we can’t carry the enormity of the unknown. And we can’t possibly know all the right answers and decisions. We do the best we can by faith, when we have to make them, and come to God with what’s happening. And say, “God, help me.. I don’t know what to do.” Hope you give yourself some TLC in this pocket of transitioning… TLC. TLC. TLC. We gotta take care of ourselves, girl. We’ve got a lot ahead of us, right? 🙂 Glad you’re here, April!
What do I need most right now???
I need to believe that I can extend myself to work towards what I am wanting to change in my life. Little things at first, then on to bigger dreams.
For so long I have been in a place where I had to numb to find peace whenever I got the chance, because it seemed like every time I decided to do something for me, there was a crisis. And then the plans would fall through.
I always had to be sure to not extend myself into anything too deeply, because I would be too worn out to deal well with the crisis someone else would construct. Or I would have to abandon my plans with someone for “me” time and then the friends would feel abandoned after this happened several times.
Now that my house in not a crisis zone anymore I am still afraid to dream and work towards dreams. I guess I am fearful it will cause a crisis???
Thank you for all the TLC you give to me and to my words, friend. I’m so grateful for you!! XOXO
You and your word are soul-satisfying, Holley. You are soul beautiful and our world is more beautiful because your words are part of it. A life-giving book. Know you’re loved and celebrated. Grateful for you. xoxo
What do I need right now? My life has just turned upside down. I made a move, left behind a good life, to be with my daughter who begged me to come only to find out that although she loves me, she doesn’t want me there after all. So, now a second big change within 2 months. I can feel the blanket of depression settling on my shoulders now that I’m through the crisis. I need a break, I need time to think, but I don’t feel like I can take it… because I also need an income. Praying, and hanging on to God with all my heart. He has pulled me through in the past when my house burned down and my daughter died, He will do it again… I’m just so tired and finding it hard to care…. this blog is a lifeline for me. Right words at the right time. Thank you.
Deb, my heart goes out to you, friend. It sounds like you’re under tremendous pressures and stresses. Listen to the voice inside you and stand up for her. Make choices for her, regardless of what you daughter has chosen. She is on her own journey and you must choose yours. First on your journey is TLC. Give yourself permission to be tired and nurture yourself. What you need most right now… May you know you are loved and accepted and seek out others who can listen and affirm that in you, in your in-the-skin life. You need to hear it. And know it, so you can move out and on with where you need to go with God. And your own friends.
Sleep, my friend. But this is lovely: “Because true love from God’s heart is mysterious, unbelievable, dizzyingly too-good-to-be-true-and-yet-it-is-true goodness I’ve never known.”
Sleep well…
Thank you, Julie. Such a sweet whisper to me last night… before I lay my head down… and close my eyes. (hugs)
Hi Bonnie,
Thank you for your posts of scripture and encouragement. I wish I could explain just how the Lord is speaking through the recent messages. God’s blessings on your upcoming writing projects.
Karen
Having been so long on the “performance” treadmill of Christianity, which is a direct contrast from faith, I most need Abba to hold me and remind me that I am His Beloved. I am loved and accepted right now, in this moment….in all of my beautiful mess. I can relax. I can let His love and acceptance wash over me. I don’t have to figure out “where” I am, “what” He is doing. I can KNOW that all of His thoughts towards me are loving and for my healing and restoration.
[…] gripped in tension and my neck start to stiffen as I think about writing, calling to see a friend, doing something TLC for me — when I’m afraid to waste time on me – I know I’m touching a piece of […]
I have followed your blog for a whole year and although many if your posts have touched me, this goes somewhere I can’t even explain.
I started this year believing it was about a journey to understanding what it means to walk in the confident knowledge that I’m beloved of God. It was most encouraging to see that your word for the year is Be.Loved.
I’m learning so much, but it is a long and tenuous road so far. I’m not used to understanding why or how a person can be loved. I just accept love. So it’s been tough really seeing what being lived by God is and feels like. I’ll be lying if I say I’m much farther than where I was in January. But I know he’s working in me to will and do his good pleasure even in this.
I can’t believe I’m only just reading this post. But I’ve just packed tonight for a weekend get away with some girlfriends. It’s what I really need- I wish it was just me and God going. Away somewhere for a long time though. That’s the TLC I feel I could do with. Him loving me back to full life. I’m looking forward to long walks, soothing swims in the cool mountain of a cattle ranch in obudu, in Nigeria where I live. And I’m believing that somewhere in the midst of all this, he’ll touch me. Restore my soul (Ps 23:3).
This had been a bit if a ramble. Forgive me. It’s me trying to fit a whole year of thoughts to share with you and a muddled up mind and heart in one comment.
Thank you for this, Be.Loved. And for the first time, I’m planning to use your Thursday prompt tomorrow. I hope I can just find sometime alone for me and God tomorrow.