The clock is my dictator

I shall not rest.

It makes me lie down
only when exhausted.

It leads me to deep depression.
It hounds my soul.

It leads me in circles of frenzy
for activity’s sake.

Even though I run
frantically from task to task,
I will never get it all done.

For my “ideal” is with me.
Deadlines and my need for approval,
they drive me.

They demand performance from me
beyond the limits of my schedule.

They anoint my head with migraines.
My in-basket overflows.

Surely fatigue and time pressure
shall follow me all the day of my life.

by Marcia Hornok

Which line in The Clock is My Dictator by Marica Hornok resonates with where you are now?

Fatigue and time pressure is what I don’t want following me.

But, if I only think this desire — without making changes to move in the opposite direction of surely goodness and mercy –I will by default get sucked into the flow of answering emails, being online or performing to address the constant growing demands pulling on me.

I end up feeling like all I’m doing is paddling upstream, trying to get to a place where I’ve done everything — so I can see the bottom of my to do list.

But, you know what?

That to-do list is bottomless.

It keeps growing as I check my way down the list.

Even if I’ve checked every box on my list — that moment is only fleeting.

My self-engineered moments of “rest” were only gained after a lot of hard work, toil and stress.

It’s not that I’m some maniacal workaholic.  I’m not.

No More For Me

On the outside, I might look calm as a cucumber. But I’m more like an prisoner inside, never  free of the list. My soul is shut off while my heart is frantically executing constant shifting tetris-like maneuvers.

It’s all very demanding emotionally — especially if a bump along the way comes up.

Those days are no more for me.

I don’t want to work hard to see the bottom of a list.

I was made for more than executing blocks of time on a schedule well.

I something more real. more alive. more meaning for to reach and see.

I have decided to follow Jesus onto the journey of rest.  I want to see the top of my soul at rest with Jesus.

I am declaring —

–  the clock is not my shepherd.

– the list is not my shepherd.

– dysfunctional relationships are not my shepherds.

– my failure or accomplishment is not my shepherd.

I can’t control how things on my list works out.  It’s real life.  Not everything gets resolved.

It doesn’t mean God isn’t in control.

The one thing I am sure God is in control of is my heart — when I yield it to Him.

The one thing I can count on is who I can count on.

Jesus is my shepherd.

Choices

All of us, after all, is resting in something.

The question is what our heart has chosen to rest in.

I don’t want the clock and my to-do list to control how my day goes.

I want Jesus to be in control of my heart — by making choices that help me engage my heart and access to my heart:

receiving comfort,

savoring beauty and quiet,

enjoying things that feed my soul,

giving myself permission to say yes or no from the prompting of my heart — rather than saying yes or no based on how much time my schedule has open.

connecting 1-1 with real people, instead of hiding in the anonymity of group activities or the heart-numbing work of doing.

I’m taking a different approach now.

I want to live out of a restful soul.

I what to choose a living story — a real life following Jesus — instead of my ideal or other’s ideal of me.

For my “ideal” is with me.
Deadlines and my need for approval,
they drive me.

From a List to the Beloved

I want to simply be God’s sheep.

I want to say unapologetically — I need.

The Lord is my shepherd.

To make this truth a reality, I am changing the rules.

I’m not going to operate from a list.

I am going to make changes as a beloved daughter.

Because you and I are God’s beloved, we don’t have to be run by that to-do list.

Instead of pushing ourselves to follow any rules of the world to be successful, popular or loved, we can change the rules.

Choose what goodness and mercy to your heart would lead you to say yes.

Because goodness and mercy is what follows after a woman loved by God.

Do the things where we can be the kind of person who hears Jesus whispering. I love you. Just rest. — while doing them. Instead of hearing the clock tick.

All else, I’m letting go.

We can say, “I can’t do it all.”

Because as God’s beloved daughters, we don’t have to do it all.

How I’m Saying The Lord Is My Shepherd

When I first envisioned 21 Days of Rest, I didn’t know how demanding a book launch would be.

I had an ideal picture of me, my time, my energies.

I also didn’t anticipate all the doors that are opening for me to share the message of rest — and my story — in different avenues.

Rest is an important message. True spiritual rest has the power to smash all the rules of the world — because rest brings us to find our true selves.

Rest is radical.

It takes the walls down — we become real, authentic, human, and spiritual.

Rest brings us closer to each other, to strangers who become friends and to  God because our hearts are tender and vulnerable.

I want to bring this message of rest with my whole heart — with a restful heart — so I’ve decided to change 21 Days of Rest a bit.

I am so excited to continue sharing 21 Days of Rest and Whitespace Challenges.

But, these will not be consecutive 21 Days.

These will be 21 Days written with the rhythm of rest.  I will write to you out of a heart fully alive, engaged.

Because Faith Barista is about making a quiet space for you and me, I want to always return to my own heart to live and write from a journey of rest myself.

Change Some Rules

So, give yourself permission – like I’m doing.

(Who says 21 days has to be consecutive days, right friend?)

What other rules can you change — for you — to make Jesus your shepherd?  And not the clock.

Change some rules.  

It may not be easy.  But, you are not alone.  See here, me?  Me and our community here is moving away from the clock rest so we can live by soul rest with Jesus along you too.

I’m grateful you are the kind of readers who are kindreds.  You always have understood and supported me with your heart.

You’re here now — the one week — my life is changing right before my eyes.

Thank you, thank you for supporting me — shouting on rooftops of Facebook, Twitter, with reviews on Amazon, Goodnews — to share the news of this book.

Many of you are buying gift copies of Finding Spiritual Whitespace for your mother, your sister, your BFF, for a friend who needs rest in a hard season, for your pastors, and even several copies to start a book club (wow what soul community you’re creating!).

Your support overwhelms my heart with love and makes me brave.  My voice is small and but with you, we have been echo for God’s love for us and rest.

Look we’re doing it, you and I, us and Jesus — through this book.

We’re bringing a new way of living into the world together.

We’re doing this by living the journey of rest.

A new chapter is being written.  Let’s not look back at the clock anymore.

Let’s live and rest.

~~~~~

How Can You Say The Lord Is Your Shepherd — and Not The Clock?

What rules can you change?

What can you let go to say yes to a soul at rest following Jesus ahead?

To do the things you are free to pursue as a beloved daughter of God?

Watch the 47 sec video below to meditate and reflect on your answer.

Pull up a chair. Click to comment. Let’s encourage and support each other. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

PSALM 23 from wim steytler on Vimeo.

** TOAY IS LAST DAY TO ENTER, FRIENDS **

Let’s Celebrate Finding Spiritual Whitespace!
TWO Special Book Launch Giveaways:
Lisa Leonard Hearts Connected Necklace &
Times Of Refreshing Journal

I’ve created TWO giveaways to celebrate the launch of my new book Finding Spiritual Whitespace. I hope you’ll enter both giveaways and win!  Enter by Friday 6/6/14 midnight PST.

GIVEAWAY #1:  {35 Winners} Times of Refreshing Journal from DaySpring

My hope is that this wiro-style journal with a handart inscribed Scripture cover inspire your to capture your voice and your ideas — as you take your own soulful journey to rest and find spiritual whitespace.

** CLICK HERE TO ENTER the Times of Refreshing Journal Giveaway **

GIVEAWAY #2: {15 Winners} A Gold Connected Hearts Necklace by Lisa Leonard PLUS Times of Refreshing Journal Gift Set Giveaway from DaySpring 

I love wearing this beautiful necklace as a visual reminder that Jesus’ heart is interlocked with mine with rest, as God’s daughter of worth (gold). I hope this encourages you on your journey to find rest with God. To enter this special giveaway, purchase a copy of my book Finding Spiritual Whitespace.

Winners of this giveaway will need to provide proof of purchase to claim their prize. I’m so excited about taking this journey of rest between the pages of this book, friends.

Let’s bring as many people with us as we can. And for more ways to join me on this journey to rest, check out my 21 Days of Rest Challenge over here.

** CLICK HERE to Enter the Lisa Leonard Connected Hearts Necklace **  PLUS Times of Refreshing Journal Gift Set Giveaway 

Thank you so much for all your kindness and support during this book launch, friends. Your thoughts and stories continue to amaze and inspire me. I’m so grateful that we can journey together.

Take The Journey of Rest With Me

Take the Finding Spiritual Whitespace journey to make space to rest, despite whatever chaos and stress clutters our everyday lives.

Take the journey of self-discovery with Jesus. Let’s live a better story of rest. Together.

Purchase a copy of my memoir-driven guidebook for yourself and your friends.  Because rest isn’t a journey we need to take alone.  We need each other.

Because some stories can’t be told on a blog.  They are so intimate, they can only echo in the sacred space of the printed page. Letters from my heart bound together for you.

Let’s be kindreds. Let’s meet between the pages of Finding Spiritual Whitespace.

Read about Whitespace from Authors You Love
{click on the endorsements below to visit my friends and read about their Whitespace}

“Why I’m Breaking Up With My Quiet Time” by Lysa TerKeurst

“Help when Your Life Feels Too Busy” by Holley Gerth

“Finding Spiritual Whitespace” by Tsh Oxenreider

( Ann Voskamp shares words of grace at A Holy Experience )

Our special June Whitespace Thursday Linkup Badge