So, I just came back from a week of being unplugged-off-the-grid on vacation in San Diego last week.
I was unpacking (a week is a long time with two boys and a hubby) and I couldn’t wait to confide in you about it all.
I discovered something very surprising.
Something I didn’t suspect at all.
And I didn’t even know it was happening. In just one month.
Right under my nose… my fingertips.
I was addicted to social media.
After all, I’ve been disengaged online a lot for two years during my journey through PTSD, leading up to the book launch last month.
Maybe… All of Me
Since June, I’ve been taking big social media steps to walk the little girl in me out into the world — to release my book Finding Spiritual Whitespace — to share news of the book’s birth.
Social media makes sense this way, because well, it’s pretty awesome that we can use technology to come alongside each other on our journey of faith — to encourage each other and be kindreds.
But, as Eric and I were packing the night before our road trip, Hubby asked me, “So, just so I can set my expectations. And it’s okay if you want to keep being online. ‘Cuz I know you’re in book launch mode. But, I just need to know… “
Eric paused, so I’d stop counting the number of socks the boys needed on the trip and look up at him. “I just need to know how much you’re going to be working on your computer. How much are you going to be doing this on vacation?”
Eric was pantomiming me swiping my fingers on my iphone, turning me into a caricature of Gollum loving on his precious.
I assured him being online was the last thing I wanted to do. I rolled my eyes back in protest with a ha-ha-very-funny expression.
“Honey. I’ve just been online a lot for the book launch. I’m dying for this vacation. No work. Total whitespace.”
“Okay…” Eric looked at me funny, like he was going to burp. He didn’t believe me.
It made me all the more adamant to prove to him I was going to do it. To be honest, I was gonna check my phone a little bit.
But, I realized behind the cute jabs from Eric laid an honest concern. And a very honest desire. Maybe my husband really wanted all of me. And maybe my kids did too. And maybe God too?
Maybe as understanding as my husband and kids have been that mommy’s book is finally out, they would love to just be with me. With no intrusion or reflection of anyone or anything else.
My soul immediately knew it was true. Because that was what I myself really longed for — Total whitespace.
Deep inside, all of me wanted it too — Soul rest.
Maybe… Tethered
I enjoy whitespace for a day pretty regularly, but a whole week — in the middle of my book release?
I was afraid to unplug completely right in the middle of everything.
Maybe people would think I’m being lazy or irresponsible.
Maybe I might miss out on some opportunity.
Or maybe something would happen and I’d miss it.
Or maybe someone would comment or post an update.
And because I could not email, favorite, tweet, like or comment, someone would think I didn’t care.
These are the strands of fear that tethered me to online.
Face like Flint
It was really, really hard the first 24 hours to be off-the-grid.
I had to take my Mail/FB/Twitter/Instagram apps off my iPhone so there was no temptation to click!
But, I could feel the phantom promptings to tap my phone and check for messages.
So, you see, even after two years of being disengaged online during PTSD, after a month of being online, it still takes face-like-flint determination to get a week of #spiritualwhitespace.
But, it was so soul refreshing!
I got inspired about things I’d put to the side during the book launch. I was fully present with myself, my kids and my husband.
We roamed in bookstores and picked out books. We played cards and talked about the most random, non-sensical things.
We listened to the ocean breathe and saw diamonds glitter in the sand between our toes.
We found forgotten ways to waste time together. Just because we could.
Now that I’m back, there is still work to do in being faithful to the business side of publishing a book, but my soul feels rested and rejuvenated. I’m filled with new curiosities and ideas.
My soul is filled to the brim with whitespace, my heart full of beautiful memories and rest.
So I’m serving up a #spiritualwhitespace challenge for you:
Dare to unplug completely. Go Off the Grid.
Even if it’s for a day.
(updated 7/10/14: Or start with a cyber-free morning/afternoon)
It’s going to hurt for the first 24 hours. But, it is so worth it.
So, here’s the challenge:
Take a Whitespace Vacation:
Unplug and Go Off the Grid.
Psst… let us know how it goes.
Share on any Thursday Linkup or comment.
It helps to have kindreds to confide in.
What: No laptop, email, no social media, text-free. Practice Cyber Stillness.
When: On a vacation/staycation you’ve already planned
– OR – Pick one day (any day)
– OR – Start with a Cyber-Free morning/afternoon
(updated 7/10/14 based on reader feedback:
a whole day may be too hard to begin with. babysteps, babysteps…)
How: Here are 5 Ways to Unplug and Go Off the Grid:
[#1] Set up an email and phone voicemail vacation message.
Google for directions for your mail service and you’ll see you’re not alone on this task.
How this helps you:
* Frees you from obligation/expectations to read your email or listen to your voicemail.
Friends don’t expect you to read or respond.
* Frees your mind from mentally having to keep track of who needs what.
* Here is the email vacation message I used. Customize it for you:
Hi there,
Rest is like chocolate for the soul as much as whitespace breathes beauty for art.
I’m unplugging on a Whitespace Vacation until –/–/–. I’m currently offline and so sorry to miss you!
Take care and be sure to make room to savor some rest and whitespace for your soul.
Feel the sun on a walk. Catch some ocean spray in your hair. Or just curl up with a good book with a cup of coffee and some quiet next to a light summer breeze.
Kindreds,
Bonnie
[#2] Move your social media apps off your phone.
On my iphone, I hold my finger on the screen and it will allow me to drag and drop applications to another location. I moved all my mail and social media apps off of my first, main screen and “hid” them away on the last screen. I set boundaries for myself: no swiping to the last panel.
How this helps you:
* Seeing the apps will trigger you to automatically tap. These apps were made to show you updates, so you’ll respond.
Removing them will stop your automatic response.
[#3] Turn on Do Not Disturb Feature on your smart phone.
In iPhone settings, you can turn on the “Do Not Disturb” feature. It will silence all alerts and phone calls (one exception: you can specify any contact (like your spouse) to be a “Favorite” and it will allow calls/texts from Favorites).
How this helps you:
* Detox from having to always look or pick up your phone. Your soul will breathe with hands-free whitespace.
* The phone will not ring or buzz you and you’ll experience stillness. Quiet. Engage all your senses to enjoy the moment.
[#4] Turn off social media email/text notifications.
By default, I opt-out of email/text notifications for social media apps. To eliminate as much stress/anxiety triggers and to create whitespace, I avoid multi-tasking. I choose single-tasking as much as possible.
So, I consciously participate in social media by using the apps rather than have it interrupt me with notifications.
Everyone has a different rhythm and sensitivity — and threshold for multi-tasking — so please give yourself permission to do what works for you. There is not right or wrong. So, if you do have social media notifcations setup, you’ll want to turn them off as step #4.
[#5] Simply, directly, let others know you are unplugging with whitespace and work will not be done during whitespace.
This is hard. It is easier to say yes because our always busy-hyper-achievement oriented culture does not give us permission to say “no” or “I won’t be able to do that this time” unless we’re sick or something is wrong.
We are good at worrying about what will happen to others if we don’t do something for them. But, it helps to remember Jesus said that Mary choose the “better” choice, enjoying resting with Him. Give yourself permission to say yes to your well-being, even if it’s awkward. Even if the Marthas may not be pleased with us.
~~~~~
What do you think of this unplugging-off-the-grid whitespace challenge?
Pull up a chair. Click to comment. Your voice helps me find mine.
~~~~~
Today’s post is part of my special Book Launch Tour Series {21 Days of Rest: FindingSpiritual Whitespace}. Click here to read Day 1 and the entire series on rest.
Now It’s Your Turn!
Whitespace Thursdays Link Up
Blog about your whitespace moments.
Publish your post ANY DAY of the week.
Link up on Thursday. Visit & comment on the post before yours.
Use the Whitespace Thursday Linkup Badge.
Write what prompts your heart. Share your voice.
Today’s Thursday 7/10/14 Writing Prompt: Take time to enjoy doing something creative or artistic. Share what you did, how it felt and what you discovered.
Next Thursday 7/17/14 Writing Prompt: Share a whitespace moment this week.
Other writing prompts:
* If you’re reading the book, share your discoveries. How is the book speaking to you?
* Share your whitespace moments.
– moments of beauty and rest
– feeding your soul
– your alone time with God
* Choose your own open writing prompt. Be you.
Thank you for using #spiritualwhitespace to share your pictures on Instagram & Twitter!
It’s fun to see the moments that feed your soul this week!
[hashimage hashtag=spiritualwhitespace limit=15]{email subscribers, click here to link up your post in the Whitespace Linkup.}
Take The Journey of Rest With Me
Take the Finding Spiritual Whitespace journey to make space to rest, despite whatever chaos and stress clutters our everyday lives.
Take the journey of self-discovery with Jesus with journal prompts for individual or intimate group exploration. Let’s live a better story of rest. Together.
Purchase a copy of my memoir-driven guidebook for yourself and your friends. Because rest isn’t a journey we need to take alone. We need each other.
Because some stories can’t be told on a blog. They are so intimate, they can only echo in the sacred space of the printed page. Letters from my heart bound together for you.
Let’s be kindreds. Let’s meet between the pages of Finding Spiritual Whitespace.
36 Comments
Oh, Bonnie, I’m so glad you were able to disconnect for a week and thoroughly enjoy the time with your family and the Lord. I can understand how the urge to keep in touch, to take care of business, to get things done, nags at you.
I don’t have a smartphone or even use the basic cell phone that I have. My addiction is to my laptop, through which I access email, FB, and my blog. When we go on vacation, we take only a 7-inch tablet. I can use it for email, but it’s so inconvenient that I don’t do much!
Still, the very idea of being home and unplugged is a scary one. I know the laptop would be whispering to me all day. I know it would be a good exercise, but I have too much to do right now … which I know is exactly the point. I’ll say Maybe to the challenge for now, but I promise to keep thinking about it!
That’s good Melissa… let that seed of a #spiritualwhitespace challenge soak in your soul.. 🙂 I updated the challenge and added this option: “or start with takig a Cyber-freemorning/afternoon” because maybe a whole day is too tough to begin with. 😉 babysteps, babysteps…
[…] at Whitespace Thought-Provoking Thursdays Winsome Wednesday […]
It’s good to unplug but so hard to so since our community seems to be online these days. I’m glad you took some time away though. We take our laptop on vacation anymore. Maybe when we go to the beach for week, I’ll try leaving it at home…and if I can get my husband to stop tapping and rubbing his droid, he will be more present. I’ll suggest it to him.
I LOVE the beach, Dee! You can also begin with just 1 day on the vacation rather than a whole week…. 🙂 Just as an experiment to see what happens and how it feels (is he an engineer? “experiment” may appeal to him).
Good morning Bonnie! Yes I do have 1 of those Smartphones with incoming e-mails only and yes I do have Facebook on it too. The only way I’m going to create Whitespace on my phone is by and I know this gonna sound crazy is by NOT removing those 2 apps off my phone. The reason being if I were to do so with the troubles I’ve been having with my phone I’d screw up the whole thing. So with that being said I’d just simply shut the phone off and take it upstairs and put it in a sock drawer and go outside with a good book providing it’s not too hot with a cold Pepsi and create my Whitespace there. Have yourself a great and blessed day. May God bless you, yours and your ministry.
Oh Beth! You made me laugh as I imagined you and your sock drawer! 🙂 You’re cute. Pepsi Whitespace. Love it!
Praise The King! What a Wonderful Reminder:).
Thanks for this, Bonnie! So thankful you could have a week off, unplugged. And thanks for the encouragement for us to do the same. I am reading your book now … slowly … and am very greatly appreciating your words, and am letting them soak into my soul. We all are in such need of whitespace, and of letting Him into all the places of our heart and soul. Thank you … and so grateful for your vulnerability and courage to share your story. May God bless you and fill you with His love, grace, and mercy this week …
Hi Cherry… I loved seeing you by the water on Instagram. Seeing it prompted the beginning of my blog post today on “home”.. see the water metaphor? that came from seeing you #spiritualwhitespace — prompted me to think of my “water” beautiful place. I hope you’re enjoying the read.. and feel SO grateful to share it with you.. after all these years of blogging together. Isn’t it surreal… how unexpected the journey has unfolded? Write/email me if you feel prompted – would love to hear how your beautiful family is doing and your granddaughter.
I need this challenge, Bonnie. I’m going on a semi-vacation next week. And while part of it I can stay plugged in, there are times when I’ll need to totally unplug. I’ll remember that you did it to encourage myself I can do it too! Thanks, friend.
I hope you take the dare, Lisa! and share with me. I’m so curious. I learned so much about myself — good, beautiful things — ideas that apparently had been waiting for the chance to breathe in whitespace! 😉 Here it happened, right under my nose. lol
So… I gotta swing back to ask you, Lisa… how did it go? and were you able to unplug..? 🙂 still love you if you didn’t. lol.
Thanks for the love either way. 🙂 I need it because I was only partially successful. I need to alter my habits in my everyday life as well. Too many “little” interruptions with social media turn into big chunks of time.
Just now i moved everything except camera, calendar/clock, phone to the back screens of my iphone for everyday life. . I did leave messages because i am in a group where we text each other when we need support.\ I will be alone while hubby is traveling cross country with my son on his move to portland, OR and will uplug for a day except the phone as described above, (including my computer), and have an unplugged day. it’s a start. thanks for this challenge.
I hope the unplugging has brought other soulful moments to take it’s place .. or perhaps the experience has prompted other ideas/thoughts? Thanks for sharing, Carol.
[…] In recognition of Bonnie’s words today: “Dare to Unplug & Go Off the Grid,” I’m keeping today’s post short and sweet. I may not be able to totally unplug yet, but I will step away for a while today. You can read her five suggestions for stepping away here. […]
Bonnie and kindred, I make it a point to unplug every Sunday. For me that day is Sabbath and we should spend it with family. My day usually consists of Mass, taking food to my Mom and visiting with her. dinner out with my husband and then home for the evening. I believe we can give one day back to Jesus and let Him fill us with His peace.
It sounds like you have lots of #spiritualwhitespace, girl! Awesome!
Hi, Bonnie. I just finished 4 days offline, funny enough. This was due to being overbudget on monthly wifi allowance at home. My girls and I saw it as both a consequence and a blessing. It wasn’t life-shattering or anything but I did sense the freedom of not being chained to technology.
Didn’t it feel good – even if odd? 🙂 Do you have any offline time – or considered it now that you tried it for 4 days? how old are your girls? did they like it?
It changed my approach to being online – now not on social media as much and restrict blogging time to an hour or so a day. It proved to me why the best approach to sin is to starve it – moderation does not work. I had to go cold turkey, so to speak, to see I had a “problem”.
My girls are 11 and 14 and they did NOT like being offline. They said they feel like ‘pioneers or something’, ha ha, especially since we don’t have a TV, either.
Thanks for asking.
I would also like to comment on the creative question you asked us. My creative outlet is jewelry design. I love making bracelets and earring for my family. After my 2 years of therapy for high anxiety, panic attacks and depression, I knew changes had to be made in my life. I had to reclaim my Joy. so for me I found that women, especially need three things to be happy, besides family. One–a creative outlet, mine being design. Just something that is for you to be yourself- an outlet of Fun. Two- a passion-mine is singing at Church and just anywhere and anytime. I love K_Love and all the Christian Rock bands. and the Third – a dream.
Something to look forward to. Even if it never happens, since life has a way of changing things suddenly, your dream needs to be there just beyond the horizon.. Mine is being able to spend Christmas this year with my brother and sister in law. We have never been able to be together since he lives in Montana. But this is something we always talked about and with God’s help it might just happen. Dear kindred find your creativity, your passion, and your dream and then go for it.
Hi Dona, thanks for sharing your creative outlet… if you feel comfortable, I’d love to see the jewelry you make in #spiritualwhitespace. Just post the photo on Instagram or Twitter using the #spiritualwhitespace hashtag.. and I’ll be able to see it. I love your 3 things. What’s your fave Christian rock band? I have a close, close friend who lives in Montana – and now that I’m better, I’m daring to think of maybe visiting here somehow! will you be going there or him&her to you?
Six months ago I had to buy a new phone. I hummed and hah-ed and then bought a very basic phone that doesn’t even connect to the internet. I figure that I have a laptop. I can check emails, facebook etc once or twice a day when I am home, and that is Absolutely Nothing that is so urgent that it can’t wait until I check in. If there is an emergency, I can be called. Guess what – there haven’t been any emergencies yet 🙂
I have No Regrets.
Oh – I forgot to say what my creative outlet is – I have taken up my sketchbook again 🙂 My daughter said she had no idea I could draw lol
If you feel comfortable, I’d LOVE to see your sketchbook, friend! 🙂 please share on Instagram or Twitter with #spiritualwhitespace tag — so I can see it. I check this hashtag and enjoy seeing what spiritual whitespace looks like to other kindreds..
Its so funny you should write about this, I have not yet done a week off unplugged-it sounds wonderful and scary at the same time. But I have been so feeling in my heart that I need to rest from the internet. Ive started taking one day off, being completely unplugged, one day a week. I am enjoying it. But it has taken me a few weeks to actually say I am enjoying it, because it was a struggle for me in the beginning. Thanks!
Hi Kortney! It’s hard to unplug… sometimes articles make it sound so easy… but, it’s atually easier to write about it… 🙂 but, it’s SO aweseom you’re listening to your heart. And giving yourself whitespace… as you’ve cleared away the internet noise… I’m curious… how has it been and what do you end up using in that “cyber stillness”? If you feel prompted, would lvoe to hear. Thanks for taking the time to stop and visit with a cup of soul coffee.
Thanks for answering me Bonnie! You must be a busy woman right now. I think that because I have been obedient to God asking me to take a day off from the internet, really for my own sake and also for my family, He has been faithfully speaking to me, or I am more apt to hear his voice because it is more quiet in my heart? I find that the internet is just a distraction sometimes, and for me it is an escape from things. This is what I feel God spoke to me while I did my day of rest this week http://vulnerableprayers.wordpress.com/2014/07/30/the-garden-of-my-soul/
I am looking forward to reading your book! Going on vacation next week and planning on bringing it!
We are taking a family vacation in early August to the Boundary Waters Canoe Area wilderness in northern Minnesota where we carry our canoes and packs from lake to lake. There are no cell signals, Internet etc. back in, so we are completely unplugged. Although primitive and rugged, I love it and return so refreshed! The only downfall (and it’s significant) is, for safety reasons, we can’t take our daughter with special needs with us. We always miss her.
It’s been a joy getting to know you more through your writing about your daughter Julie. I know you will be filled soul-rejuvenation from the vacation – your whitespace – so your beautiful daughter though she can’t go, will experience the beautiful of the wilderness through your refreshed spirit. Can’t wait to hear how yourunplugged time will be like for you, girl!
This challenge is wonderful. I’ve become addicted to quiet. I do regular off days throughout the week. Some days are all day some are part days. But, I do have a week off every quarter. My favorite feature is flight mode. It came to a point where do not disturb was not enough. Flight mode on my walks. Flight mode if I need complete quiet. Flight mode is my new best friend. It all started with doctors orders for zero stress if possible. Who knew I would get to love complete quiet. Sending you a hug from little girl me to you. xo
happy birthday Jeri!! 😉 Oh good idea. Flight mode. Thanks for that practical tip. the little girl in me is sending hugs to the little girl in you..
Bonnie- I just finished reading your book! I found myself devouring page after page. Then I needed a nap (rest 🙂 and then I’d read some more, skimming the journaling exercises and responding to a few. My story parallels yours, but is my own and God comforted me with that truth…we have similar wounds in this life, but God cares about each one of us individually. Thank you for the courage it took to share your story.
I had fun encouraging some of my girlfriends to invite their little girls to lead the way to rest for them…I myself went to the store in the kids art aisle and asked my little girl what she wanted…we bought poster paint and finger paint paper…and later in the week I was riding my bike and I felt my little girl saying I love riding our bike!
I look forward to journeying with you and others as your book makes its way in the world…I will be unplugging while on vacation…thanks for the practical tips!
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Kel.. I can’t tell you how happy the little girl in me is to meet the little girl in you!! 🙂 I would love to see what you painted that day… if you feel prompted to share with me, share on twitter or instagram with #spiritualwhitespace tag – that way I’ll see it.
And to hear that you encouraged your girlfriends to invite the little girl in them to enjoy rest too? (swoon) my heart is SMILING WIDE. hugs to the little girl in you. I’m so happy for her!