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a fork in the road. busy or beloved?

By Bonnie Gray • August 29, 2014 • 10 Comments

isn’t it easier to be busy?

isn’t it easier to be distracted?

isn’t it easier to let someone else choose for us, what it is that needs to be done?

it’s easier because we wouldn’t have to need.

but isn’t that how God filled Adam’s void with Eve?

when he felt his need?

to be loved.

it’s harder to choose what we want.

because maybe we don’t know what it is we want.

maybe it’s easier to give our lives completely over to a schedule that is a treadmill — rather than give ourselves over to an intimacy to become the beloved. to follow Jesus into the spiritual whitespace of exposing our hearts to share our world with Him.

but we were made for more.

we were made to be loved.

we often wonder how we can enter into God’s presence.

but what if worship begins with bringing OURSELVES into God’s presence?

how can we love Him, if we remain hidden?

what has happened to you…

what has happened to me?

where have we been all our lives?

let’s wake up.

let’s rise and step out of our busyness.

we can’t avoid the everyday life of chores, pickups, whiny hours, loading the dishwasher and figuring out how to say yes or no in our emails.

but what we can do is remember.

remember what God really, really longs for us — YOU.

ME.

what Jesus really came to do isn’t to rescue us from sin so we can be busy, exhausted, weary — lost, hidden, numb, robotic, generic, beige, bland and functioning.

Jesus came to give us life abundantly full.

don’t brush away your longing, because the sweetest thing in all of life is filling that ache with what is real and beautiful.

what we can do is choose.

with Jesus.

rest.

really, truly rest.

So choose the quiet.

When you come to a fork in the road in the day —    

between choosing the quiet or filling it up
            by performing, pleasing, or disappearing — stop.

Choose what’s harder, but more soul-filling. 

Enjoy something no one would be able to point at it

and say, “Look. She did something.”

Choose instead to be loved.

Let God love you.
Choose the quiet.

by being you.

and exploring, discovering,

and giving  yourself permission to find what that even means.

To experience what the journey feels like.

Let’s not just eat organic.

Live organic.

Living. It includes struggling, making mistakes, and imperfection.

because you know what, that is where love truly can be written into our stories.

let’s do what doesn’t come easier.

let’s take our first shaky steps as the beloved.

and begin the next day again.

“I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.”
Song of Solomon 6:3

“Don’t be afraid. I’ve called your name.
You’re mine.”
Isa43:4

“It will no longer be said to you, ‘forsaken…desolate’,
But you will be called, ‘my delight’
For I delight in you.”
God’s heartbeat in Is62:4

Busy or beloved… a fork in the road…

Pull up a chair. Click to comment. This is a quiet space for you.

Let me pour you some tea.

As we you enter into the Labor Day weekend, may you find soulful moments tucked in your days… just for you.

~~~~~~~

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10 Comments

  • Reply Lisa August 29, 2014 at 12:46 pm

    Wow, yes, Bonnie, organic is the word I have been using to describe this process too, and you sure write (and very skillfully I’ll add) as if you know what this is like! It’s challenging:

    let’s take our first shaky steps as the beloved.

    and begin the next day again

    Beloved in Christ, precious one,
    Lisa

  • Reply radical rose August 29, 2014 at 12:49 pm

    My dear friend,
    Thank you for your post. Today I feel like disappearing. I am struggling with community-how to live in community. I stepped out in ministry and I feel so vulnerable. To be subject to gossip is heartwretching. I pre-purchased your book but haven’t given myself permission to read it yet. I wish it were audio so I could pop it in the cd player while traveling. (to and from commitments.)
    LOL I’ve even signed up for a silent retreat in October hoping to take your book along to savor in the silence. Your words always resonate with me, I feel we are kindred spirits. Blessings to you.

  • Reply Darlene August 29, 2014 at 6:13 pm

    My stomach has been in knots for two evenings. I am going to do what you suggested. I am going to stop….and let God love me.

    By the way, I just began reading your book last night. Hugs, Darlene

    • Reply Bonnie Gray August 30, 2014 at 8:38 am

      thanks for meeting with me between the pages. I hope it speaks to you, Darlene… as you give yourself the gift of rest.

  • Reply Sharon August 30, 2014 at 10:02 am

    Such wonderful admonition. I find it so hard to find quiet within myself, let alone in my outside world. But, you’re right, it is in those quiet moments that I find God, and somehow also get in touch with my true self. Going to try to follow your wonderful advice and calm down…and sit in the presence of the Lord.

    GOD BLESS!

    • Reply Bonnie Gray September 1, 2014 at 9:10 pm

      hi sharon, sweet friend… you’ve been on this journey with me for some time… i hope my book has been helpful on creative ways to quiet and calm down, because it looks different for each person. it’s not just one way, depending on our personalities or history. blessings!

  • Reply rita kearns September 1, 2014 at 6:49 am

    I feel overwhelmed. It took a very long time for me to finish your beautiful book. Too many similarities in our stories. All I can do is cry. I have writers block.I want to heal but memories are few. I am so glad you bring Jesus into your book. I can’t do anything in my journey without him.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray September 1, 2014 at 9:09 pm

      sweet rita. those tears are the sound of your soul awakening. means so much to know it spoke to you. i had writer’s block too for over a year as i struggled with the anxieties. it took an expert to help me uncover my memories (i didn’t have too many either) and process them. I found a PTSD therapist who specialized in EMDR, (you know, Dr. P) which was an amazing journey that uncovered the stories (some of which you read in the book). thank of a therapist as a safari guide, who will help you uncover your story, so you can find your voice. can’t recommend it whole-heartedly enough. i had seen different counselors for 4 months, but only the EMDR specialist could help me heal. many of my friends have started seeing Dr. P too! 🙂 and they are loving it. it’s soul amazing to find pieces of yourself with Jesus.

  • Reply Nancy Ruegg September 3, 2014 at 1:04 pm

    This line of your heart-grabbing poem especially spoke to me: “Choose what is soul-filling.” Then I read your post as a collector–collecting ideas for how to make that happen: be quiet, allow God to love me, seek intimacy, expose my heart, explore, and discover. I’m anticipating much soul-filling as I aim to choose the quiet throughout each day–moments here and there to revel in my Heavenly Father and all his benefits. Thank you for your beautiful inspiration, Bonnie!

    • Reply Bonnie Gray September 8, 2014 at 2:09 pm

      happy to know they’re “collectable”. 😉 i’m happy to share what comes my way and helps me… #kindreds

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