{5 years ago, I cried bitter tears here into the sand, feeling weary and small.
I started writing & a blog named FaithBarista was born.
asilomar state beach, pacific grove, ca}

Today, we’re celebrating Faith Barista’s 5th birthday!  

Celebrate with me!

Enter to win one of DaySpring’s Everlasting Light Jewelry Giveaway
at the end of today’s post.
Three Winners.

Pick up a copy of my book Finding Spiritual Whitespace: Awakening Your Soul to Rest for yourself. (I’d love to meet with you between the pages!)

Or gift this book to help me bring rest and beauty
into the hands and hearts of friends in your life.  

Buy a copy for a friend, mom, sister, missionary, small group kindred, mommy-friend or BFF in your life and see what soulful conversations sparkle!

I cried.

And cried.

I just had my second baby boy.  Caleb.

I loved that big round bundle of pink, teeny tiny toes and even tinier fingers, wrapped like petals wet from spring rain around my finger, trembling when hungry, soothed once again when they find me and his tummy is filled once again.

He was snuggled close, closer than skin to me.

Big brother Josh was half a year past three. He would stand there, asking, “Mommy, will you read me a book…?” Whenever I was about to take a breath, his little voice would find me wherever I went, because he needed more of me.

I finally made it.  I survived my childhood.

Now, I’m a mom.

And as beautiful and fulfilling I knew motherhood was supposed to be, I felt exhausted, tired and very much alone.

Because I felt like I hardly even begun to understand who I was and here I was now responsible to provide, guide and give my whole heart — and apparently body as well to the care taking of these little people.

I kept telling myself —

This is the way it’s supposed to be.

Too bad for you.  You had a heartbreaking childhood.

But, now it’s your turn to be the mom.  

To give your children a chance at living the childhood you never had.

Loved. Cared for. Cherished.

It’s too late for me.

Now it’s time for me to be the mom I’ve always longed for.

Except why was I crying so bitterly — so utterly exhausted and feeling so alone — into the sand?

I had lost my sparkle.

Five Years Ago

Five years ago, after having baby number two, I came to a beach for spiritual whitespace, planting bitter tears into the sand — feeling weary and small.

As I did, God whispered —

It’s never too late.

Be loved.

Then I started writing & a blog named FaithBarista was born.

You’ve been here. Right as anxiety and panic attacks choked my breath away for the first time — when I was arrested right in the middle of my manuscript. I could not write any more.

Once a month, I crawled to the keyboard to tell you what I could.

You carried me.  You kept reading.  So I kept writing.

It was your presence, here on the blog, through your words that reached me.

You gave me courage to write a series of letters about my journey to find rest, which became bound in a book — Finding Spiritual Whitespace.

You, me, and God. We did it.

Now, I’m learning to sparkle again.

And now, I’m going to invite you to come with me on the next leg of this journey.

And I’m so excited about this invitation.

I want you to sparkle with me.

It’s You

I told you something in me changed in Nashville — when I was invited to lead my first Spiritual Whitespace Retreat with the Military.

Something happened to me and them — when we were physically present. In the same room.

When we looked into each other’s eyes, heard each other’s voice, and listened to each other’s stories — something changed in all of us.

Our hearts began to sparkle. With rest.

I realized the life-change of rest isn’t complete without the presence of real people.

This journey of rest can’t be experienced fully — without presence.

I wrote this book with the prayer of seeing all of us experience a new journey of rest — by uncovering our stories with Jesus and with each other.

I realized my prayer for this book can’t happen on my own — with just my printed words.

It’s you.  I need your presence to bring this book to life. 

This is why I crafted soulful journaling and small group discussion prompts at the end of each chapter — so we can uncover our stories and share them with each other.

So we can create space in our hearts and schedules.

So we can be loved.

So we can rest.

So we can sparkle.  Together.

An Invitation:  Plant A Seed

I want to invite you to take a soul-changing journey to read Finding Spiritual Whitespace: Awakening Your Soul to Rest in-real-life with real people.

I’d been on the fence about this, but Nashville has changed everything.

Yes, I want to plant a seed in your heart today:  begin thinking of one, two, three or four women to read Finding Spiritual Whitespace together. These are small soulful groups.

I want to invite you to start a Whitespace Group.
May of you are already reading this book 1-1 with friends or small groups.

But I hope to begin online Whitespace Groups in the new year January 2014.

I talked with my pastor at my home church last week and I’ll be leading church wide whitespace groups in January as well.  So, we’ll be doing it together!

Even though January might seem a long way off, I want to plant a seed now in your heart.  And pray the Holy Spirit will start bringing people into your mind.

Whitespace Groups: the 411

*  This is a 12 week series. We will cover 2 chapters a week.

* Get together with 1-4 women in real life once a week to read and journey through the book Finding Spiritual Whitespace.

*  I’ll launch an online book club to connect us all as a big community (via Facebook or here on the blog).

* There’s no extra prep work for the group leader. The group leader is actually a participant herself.  The book already provides the discussion questions, so just get together and share from one of the many prompts.

* I’ll have free handouts/notes/tools for the group leaders (totally optional) that will make it fun for your group! I used them in Nashville, so I’m really excited to share this material {squeal! can’t wait!}

* Online book club is free. You just need to purchase the book.

More details to come…

I never imagined that the bitter tears I planted into the sand five years ago could ever blossom into a new journey. 

Here you are — such a beautiful community — sparkling like stars dotting the night sky with light and kinship.

Where did you come from?

I can only say, straight from God’s heart, to meet and encourage me.

So we can set our hearts on this pilgrimage of faith — as kindreds.

Join me. Let’s sparkle. 

~~~~~

What do you think about this idea?  Are you interested?

Pull up a chair. Click to comment. I’m soul grateful you’re here.

Enter to Win
DaySpring’s Everlasting Light Jewelry

To celebrate Faith Barista’s 5th birthday, THREE (3) winners will be randomly selected to receive one of my favorite pieces from DaySpring’s newest Everlasting Light Jewelry (you can choose which is your favorite):

*  Shine Necklace
*  Everlasting Star Necklace  -set of 3
*  Everlasting Light Bangles

(This giveaway is open only to U.S. only.)

To Enter:

– Just share a comment by Tuesday 9/23 Midnight.

For extra entries:

– Share today’s post on Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest. Then, leave another comment letting me know.

 It’s been a long journey and it’s time for us to sparkle, kindreds!

{Shine Necklace}

{Everlasting Star – set of 3}

{Everlasting Light Bangles}

Now It’s Your Turn

Whitespace Link Up

(usually on Thursdays)

Blog about your whitespace moments. 

Publish your post ANY DAY of the week.  

Link up on Thursdays.
Visit & comment on the post before yours.

Use the Whitespace Thursday Linkup Badge.

Write what prompts your heart. Share your voice.

Today’s Writing Prompt:
Share a whitespace moment this week. 

Other writing prompts:

* If you’re reading the book, share your discoveries. How is the book speaking to you?

*  Share your whitespace moments.

– moments of beauty and rest
– feeding your soul
– your alone time with God

* Choose your own open writing prompt.  Be you.

Thank you for using #spiritualwhitespace to share your pictures on Instagram & Twitter!
It’s fun to see the moments that feed your soul this week!

{email subscribers, click here to link up your post in the Whitespace Linkup.}

Take the Finding Spiritual Whitespace journey to make space to rest.

Let’s be kindreds. Let’s meet between the pages of Finding Spiritual Whitespace.

“Whitespace is soul grace. Bonnie Gray ushers weary women into the real possibility.”–Ann Voskamp, New York Times bestselling author of One Thousand Gifts

“Women need this message. If you want to hear Jesus speak more tenderly to your soul than ever before, this is the book for you.”–Lysa TerKeurst, New York Times bestselling author of Unglued

“We live in a culture that brags and boasts about being busy. Into that reality steps Bonnie with a new idea.”–from the foreword by Jon Acuff, New York Times bestselling author of Start