{5 years ago, I cried bitter tears here into the sand, feeling weary and small.
I started writing & a blog named FaithBarista was born.
asilomar state beach, pacific grove, ca}
Today, we’re celebrating Faith Barista’s 5th birthday!
Celebrate with me!
Enter to win one of DaySpring’s Everlasting Light Jewelry Giveaway
at the end of today’s post.
Three Winners.
Pick up a copy of my book Finding Spiritual Whitespace: Awakening Your Soul to Rest for yourself. (I’d love to meet with you between the pages!)
Or gift this book to help me bring rest and beauty
into the hands and hearts of friends in your life.
Buy a copy for a friend, mom, sister, missionary, small group kindred, mommy-friend or BFF in your life and see what soulful conversations sparkle!
I cried.
And cried.
I just had my second baby boy. Caleb.
I loved that big round bundle of pink, teeny tiny toes and even tinier fingers, wrapped like petals wet from spring rain around my finger, trembling when hungry, soothed once again when they find me and his tummy is filled once again.
He was snuggled close, closer than skin to me.
Big brother Josh was half a year past three. He would stand there, asking, “Mommy, will you read me a book…?” Whenever I was about to take a breath, his little voice would find me wherever I went, because he needed more of me.
I finally made it. I survived my childhood.
Now, I’m a mom.
And as beautiful and fulfilling I knew motherhood was supposed to be, I felt exhausted, tired and very much alone.
Because I felt like I hardly even begun to understand who I was and here I was now responsible to provide, guide and give my whole heart — and apparently body as well to the care taking of these little people.
I kept telling myself —
This is the way it’s supposed to be.
Too bad for you. You had a heartbreaking childhood.
But, now it’s your turn to be the mom.
To give your children a chance at living the childhood you never had.
Loved. Cared for. Cherished.
It’s too late for me.
Now it’s time for me to be the mom I’ve always longed for.
Except why was I crying so bitterly — so utterly exhausted and feeling so alone — into the sand?
I had lost my sparkle.
Five Years Ago
Five years ago, after having baby number two, I came to a beach for spiritual whitespace, planting bitter tears into the sand — feeling weary and small.
As I did, God whispered —
It’s never too late.
Be loved.
Then I started writing & a blog named FaithBarista was born.
You’ve been here. Right as anxiety and panic attacks choked my breath away for the first time — when I was arrested right in the middle of my manuscript. I could not write any more.
Once a month, I crawled to the keyboard to tell you what I could.
You carried me. You kept reading. So I kept writing.
It was your presence, here on the blog, through your words that reached me.
You gave me courage to write a series of letters about my journey to find rest, which became bound in a book — Finding Spiritual Whitespace.
You, me, and God. We did it.
Now, I’m learning to sparkle again.
And now, I’m going to invite you to come with me on the next leg of this journey.
And I’m so excited about this invitation.
I want you to sparkle with me.
It’s You
I told you something in me changed in Nashville — when I was invited to lead my first Spiritual Whitespace Retreat with the Military.
Something happened to me and them — when we were physically present. In the same room.
When we looked into each other’s eyes, heard each other’s voice, and listened to each other’s stories — something changed in all of us.
Our hearts began to sparkle. With rest.
I realized the life-change of rest isn’t complete without the presence of real people.
This journey of rest can’t be experienced fully — without presence.
I wrote this book with the prayer of seeing all of us experience a new journey of rest — by uncovering our stories with Jesus and with each other.
I realized my prayer for this book can’t happen on my own — with just my printed words.
It’s you. I need your presence to bring this book to life.
This is why I crafted soulful journaling and small group discussion prompts at the end of each chapter — so we can uncover our stories and share them with each other.
So we can create space in our hearts and schedules.
So we can be loved.
So we can rest.
So we can sparkle. Together.
An Invitation: Plant A Seed
I want to invite you to take a soul-changing journey to read Finding Spiritual Whitespace: Awakening Your Soul to Rest in-real-life with real people.
I’d been on the fence about this, but Nashville has changed everything.
Yes, I want to plant a seed in your heart today: begin thinking of one, two, three or four women to read Finding Spiritual Whitespace together. These are small soulful groups.
I want to invite you to start a Whitespace Group.
May of you are already reading this book 1-1 with friends or small groups.But I hope to begin online Whitespace Groups in the new year January 2014.
I talked with my pastor at my home church last week and I’ll be leading church wide whitespace groups in January as well. So, we’ll be doing it together!
Even though January might seem a long way off, I want to plant a seed now in your heart. And pray the Holy Spirit will start bringing people into your mind.
Whitespace Groups: the 411
* This is a 12 week series. We will cover 2 chapters a week.
* Get together with 1-4 women in real life once a week to read and journey through the book Finding Spiritual Whitespace.
* I’ll launch an online book club to connect us all as a big community (via Facebook or here on the blog).
* There’s no extra prep work for the group leader. The group leader is actually a participant herself. The book already provides the discussion questions, so just get together and share from one of the many prompts.
* I’ll have free handouts/notes/tools for the group leaders (totally optional) that will make it fun for your group! I used them in Nashville, so I’m really excited to share this material {squeal! can’t wait!}
* Online book club is free. You just need to purchase the book.
More details to come…
I never imagined that the bitter tears I planted into the sand five years ago could ever blossom into a new journey.
Here you are — such a beautiful community — sparkling like stars dotting the night sky with light and kinship.
Where did you come from?
I can only say, straight from God’s heart, to meet and encourage me.
So we can set our hearts on this pilgrimage of faith — as kindreds.
Join me. Let’s sparkle.
~~~~~
What do you think about this idea? Are you interested?
Pull up a chair. Click to comment. I’m soul grateful you’re here.
Enter to Win
DaySpring’s Everlasting Light Jewelry
To celebrate Faith Barista’s 5th birthday, THREE (3) winners will be randomly selected to receive one of my favorite pieces from DaySpring’s newest Everlasting Light Jewelry (you can choose which is your favorite):
* Shine Necklace
* Everlasting Star Necklace -set of 3
* Everlasting Light Bangles
(This giveaway is open only to U.S. only.)
To Enter:
– Just share a comment by Tuesday 9/23 Midnight.
For extra entries:
– Share today’s post on Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest. Then, leave another comment letting me know.
It’s been a long journey and it’s time for us to sparkle, kindreds!
Now It’s Your Turn
Whitespace Link Up
(usually on Thursdays)
Blog about your whitespace moments.
Publish your post ANY DAY of the week.
Link up on Thursdays.
Visit & comment on the post before yours.
Use the Whitespace Thursday Linkup Badge.
Write what prompts your heart. Share your voice.
Today’s Writing Prompt:
Share a whitespace moment this week.
Other writing prompts:
* If you’re reading the book, share your discoveries. How is the book speaking to you?
* Share your whitespace moments.
– moments of beauty and rest
– feeding your soul
– your alone time with God
* Choose your own open writing prompt. Be you.
Thank you for using #spiritualwhitespace to share your pictures on Instagram & Twitter!
It’s fun to see the moments that feed your soul this week!
[hashimage hashtag=spiritualwhitespace limit=15]{email subscribers, click here to link up your post in the Whitespace Linkup.}
Take the Finding Spiritual Whitespace journey to make space to rest.
Let’s be kindreds. Let’s meet between the pages of Finding Spiritual Whitespace.
“Whitespace is soul grace. Bonnie Gray ushers weary women into the real possibility.”–Ann Voskamp, New York Times bestselling author of One Thousand Gifts
“Women need this message. If you want to hear Jesus speak more tenderly to your soul than ever before, this is the book for you.”–Lysa TerKeurst, New York Times bestselling author of Unglued
“We live in a culture that brags and boasts about being busy. Into that reality steps Bonnie with a new idea.”–from the foreword by Jon Acuff, New York Times bestselling author of Start
76 Comments
Bonnie, I am so excited for you in this new movement for Whitespace. I hope it is all you envision and more. Also, happy blog birthday.
What an exciting time for you, Bonnie! Happy blog birthday. So happy to be journeying with you.
Happy Blog Birthday!!!
Bonnie, I’ve been praying and asking God to reveal to me who I should give a copy of your book to… I’ve ordered another one and it’s been sitting in my “pile”! My mentor (a lady in her 60s) has seen the difference it’s made in my life, and chose to pick up a copy for herself! She texted me the other day with quotes from your book! So cool! She GETS IT! Now I’m just waiting for God to reveal the right person for me to share this book with! Ahhhh, can’t wait for my next step in this journey! You’re amazing… have I sad that before? If not, yes… you’re amazing, Bonnie! Thank you!
Hi Bonnie! I am SO GLAD you had started this blog 5 years ago, although I didn’t find you until a year or so ago. Your book is a treasure, for sure, and will be helping so many women like you. I’m one of them. Thank you so much!
Bonnie!!! Happy, Happy Birthday! Thank you for sharing your journey and allowing someone like me to heal along with you! Brilliant, God inspired idea for “sparkling’ with a few other gals together! It’s such a tough road, and having a hand to hold on the way helps tremendously! (and you won’t feel like you’re alone or completely crazy!!!) thank you again for sharing such deep parts of you with such transparency!
Beautiful idea… Moving in the motion of His Spirit’s leading! Love it!
Happy Blog Birthday!
Happy Birthday beautiful blog. I thank God that you came along providing healing. Cant wait for January. I bought the book already but couldn’t get started on my own. I love the idea of doing it with others. Thank you Bonnie you are truly a blessing in my life, may God continue to bless you and guide you in the direction he wants to use you. Hugs.
Happy blogging birthday to you! I can. Not. Wait! to trek to Lifeway for your book tomorrow. I found you here only revently but your words seem to be encouraging me in a new direction and giving me some bravery to do it. So, thank you for that.
Oh! And I love the everlasting light line. And your study group idea… 🙂 And shared them on FB :
Happy Happy Birthday to you!! I love your blogging. It is so encouraging to me. It seems that you can read my mind and know just what I need to hear. Thank you so much!
Congrats to you:) I’ve recently purchaced your book. I have struggled with panic attacks and PTSD ever since I was two. I’m 32 now. I look forward to your book and how you deal with it.
Happy 5th Birthday FaithBarista! I’m so glad I found this blog many ‘moons’ ago. I’ve been refeshed again and again. And you are right we do ‘real people’ to engage with as you did in Nashville. Online devotionals keep me going each day, but I do need my Christian girl friends to meet with on a weekly basis and chat face to face.
May you be abundantly blessed today and every day!
Happy 5th Birthday! Faith Barista has been a huge blessing, a gift to me through hard times and good. Thank you for sharing your heart and your journey. Again today, I praise God for the gift you have been to me through your blog.
Thank you for sharing your heart. BTW, your wedding photos looked so similar to ours – PBC wedding and outside patio reception! God bless!
Thank you for sharing yourself with us. Blessings…
Happy Birthday to you… This is an awesome giveaway. Love the bracelet!
Happy Birthday, Bonnie!! So amazing how God has led you in this journey from 5 years ago. And all the weeks/months of tears as you worked though childhood memories are being used for good – to bless others, and to lead others to closeness to Jesus, a place of soul rest. Thank you!! Have loved visiting you here for a number of years now!
Thrilled for you Bonnie and what the Lord is doing for you and through you… I have been following you for a while now… always encourage and can relate in many ways… thank you for sharing and teaching us!
Happy Birthday to your blog! I am so glad you are her for you and us all! I am so glad you are healing and shining, and I know your journey has helped many on theirs already! I will be thinking of how I can do the study with some friends and see what ends up! It is so good to see what our good Lord does!!
Love the idea of doing a Spiritual Whitespace group! Love the jewelry, especially the shine necklace!
Happy 5th birthday of the blog! So blessed that you write your heart! Already signed up for newsletter and Facebook followings. Thank you! Celebrate!
Congrats and thank you for sharing with us all. Love the shine necklace, so beautiful and encouraging.
Pinned it on my Pinterest, hope it worked I’m not too tech savvy.
Congrats on your 5 year blog anniversary!!! The online book club sounds like an awesome idea!! I’ve already started reading your book and I love it!!! I love how open and honest your writing is. Thank you so much for sharing it with us!!!
Very pretty. Thanks for the giveaway contest.
I just finished your book. It was so life changing for me. I want to start a small group so count me in! I am thinking and praying about who to ask and will start in January. It is wonderful to see how our ?Lord is working through your life…Amazing Grace! Bonnie, thanks for your openness.
Blessings to you and your family.
Your blog has meant so much to me. It has helped me and helped me understand my youngest daughter. We both have PTSD.
I shared on Facebook!
I shared on Pinterest too!
Bonnie!
We share a blogiversary!
You started four years before I did, and I started reading you before I ever got brave enough to write. Your courage sparked mine and now I am one year old in blogging and o grateful for all God has done in and through me in this one not-so-small year. So glad to be celebrating our writing together. Praying prayers of continued redemption and overflow for you today.
Love – Patty
I would love to try to incorporate whitespace somewhere in my schedule. It is a challenge.
Happy Anniversary _ wow, what a week for you! The theme of the necklace (shine!) and my poem go together. Often my whitespace is especially intimate in my beach time since I am so close to it…I wanted to link my poem but the link is closed. 🙁 Hope you get to read it- and continuing the journey with you ( a little quieter lately) ! So happy for all of your joy filled moments!
Loved the book and am hoping to gather a few friends to dig in with me. Shared on twitter as well. Your Story today reminded me so much of the passage in Psalm 84 :5-6…as we pass through that Valley of weeping, it becomes a place of springs for us and others who pass that way… Going from strength to strength until each appears before God in Zion!! Thank you for allowing your tears to create that place of springs for all of us!!! Love and hugs!!!
Pinned to Pinterest … Love the bracelets Btw 🙂
A smile came over me and it kept on growing as I read this post and what God did from your trip to Nashville. Loving this idea! Happy Anniversary!! It’s so wonderful to see what God has done and continues to do.
Shared on Facebook and Twitter.
I thoroughly enjoy your blogs that are delivered to my inbox. I also read your book and have passed it on to another person. God bless you, Bonnie!!!
Thank you for the healing gift of this website, and your beautiful posts. Happy Anniversary 🙂 I pray for the hope of Jesus that longingly searches for us even into the depths of the deep bottoms of our oceans, that carries us back up to the surface of our lives and holds us close to him, teaching us to walk upon the waves with him, living loved and safe in his sonshine, to continue to renew and heal your heart and turn the pain of broken places and deep loss into a resurrection masterpiece of his love and redeeming grace <3
Bonnie, I love you and your writing. Thanks for your vulnerability and honesty.
I love all three pieces of jewelry. I esp like the one that says “shine”.
I also shared on my Facebook page.
Blessings dear one~
Annie
It is awesome, the healing, joy and encouraging connection, all round, that can be brought forth out of suffering Bonnie. I feel blown away at God’s outworking of Isaiah 61: 3 – with flesh on – “to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair”. Bless you.
Always amazed at how He meets us where we are!
What a great idea, I love the thought of a small group that can share over coffee and tea. Already have a few ladies in mind to invite, thank you Bonnie, very exciting!
Your blog and your book means so much to me, Bonnie. I know how panic attacks feel. I know anxiety and depression. I know childhood trauma and I know the loss of a father which brought about my downward spiral. This months marks my seventh year anniversary of when I started on my road to coping with depression. Two years before, I lived in a gray place, not really knowing what was happening to me. then the panic attacks, the emergency room visit in the middle of the night, thinking I was dying. then panic attack that made me pull over to the side of the road and after that did not drive for almost a year. Two years of therapy and I am now beginning to see colors again, and singing and laughing and living. God literally pulled me for the darkest place imaginable and gave me a second chance . I think those of us who have gone through a darkness, will never take for granted the blessings we have received in His healing. I know that I am a much different much better person for having taken that really difficult journey from the darkness into the light. Depression isn’t something you get over, it is something you manage. It is in my DNA so it will be with me forever. But I believe that with the help of God we survive and get a chance to pay it forward. that is why I am so looking forward to the Book Club and all the fun stuff you are talking about. I am there just tell me when. peace to all.
Very interested! Hoping it sounds good to a few of my friends as well 🙂
Your story inspires me!
Shared on FB TOO
Happy Blog Birthday 😀
Thank you for the option of maybe just sharing the book with 1 person – that might just be possible for me!!
Thank you for writing, I love how we’ve been able to come together to feel less alone.
Dear Bonnie,
I’ve been following you for almost three years now, wow, what a journey! I never thought when I started that we would have so much in common….I never thought I would start having panic attacks too! Thanks so much for being there through a difficult time in my life. God bless.
Love your blog and your book!
Bonnie, words cannot express how much your writing has meant, and continues to mean to me. Your honesty helps me to be honest with myself, and I so deeply appreciate all you have shared.
I am so excited to read through this book again! I gave my copy to a friend and haven’t gotten it back yet 🙁 I guess that gives me a good excuse to buy another!! Cant wait for the book club!
Bonnie, I’ve been reading you for about 5 years. I’m not even sure how I came across your blog. I just know that since day 1, your words have touched me. Happy Birthday…..and many more, I hope. I’ve posted on FB and twitter. I don’t have (or want) my own blog or I would post it there, too.
Loving your book and can’t wait for the study! 🙂
Shared on Facebook 🙂
Tweeted 🙂
I tweeted.
I pinned.
I shared on Facebook.
Happy blog birthday! Thank you for sharing with us!
I’ve been drooling over that Shine jewelry for a few weeks now!! 😉
also, been wishing and praying for time and money to dig into your book… Sounds like I’ll be putting it on my Christmas list and keeping my January as open as possible!!
Bonnie, Spiritual Whitespace couldn’t have come at a better time for me in life. Over the past Summer, my soul needed to breathe and to be told it’s okay to simply be still. Through the help of your book, and by the everlasting love of our Heavenly Father, I am slowly learning to be free, to be loved. Thank you for your inspiration!!!
Happy blog birthday. Thanks so much for sharing your story. I love your reminders on Facebook to find our spiritual whitespace. I struggle with anxiety, and finding my spiritual whitespaces has helped me cope. I love the idea of all of us sparkling like stars.
God bless
Happy Blog Birthday! Wow, 5 years – how exciting, and look the all of the beauty that came from each tear He collected! Thank you for all you brew, Faith Barista!
i would’ve never guessed. grateful you’ve been here on t his journey, Michelle. thanks for sharing your art/photo of the little girl with us! 🙂
Dear Bonnie,
I have just returned from working as a leader on a 5-day “Grief to Grace” Retreat for survivors of sexual abuse-(www.grieftograceoregon.org). I will be providing a support group for follow-up support and I think your book would provide the perfect format for the weekly meetings! I have already read it twice and forwarded it to friend after friend. Thank you for this brilliant idea!
Wonderful, Patsy! thank you for being a part of creating community of spiritual whitespace and kindreds on the journey for rest.
Congratulations on your blog anniversary of five years. How glad I am that you started Faith Barista. I have to add that last weekend I had a wonderful dinner in Pacific Grove, CA. I love that area of the country. And although I’ve read your book twice I would love to read it again and join in with your group.
Blessings and love,
Debbie
debbie! you were near here?! it’s soul replenishing – being in Carmel and Pacific Grove. so happy you got to soak it in. if you’re ever in the Silicon Valley area, let’s have a cup of coffee!
Just found your site, having just read a bit if your story in Holley Gerth’s book, You’re Made for a God-sized Dream. ♡ The video you created is very beautiful. And your book looks so amazing & relevant to today’s woman. I look forward to reading it. I’m going to follow your blog.
so happy Holley’s words brought us together here, tina. 😉 welcome! can’t wait to meet with you between the pages of “Finding Spiritual Whitespace”, friend.
Yayyy!!! I got the book last night — what a wonderful Birthday Present from my sister!!! I’m excited to get started reading & growing in this area. Just wanted to let you know.
hug that sister of your, Tina! 😉 so special to meet between the pages together. i hope it speaks to your heart…
I think this is such a good idea. Ever since I read your book I have ben sharing it with others – reading bits to friends, getting excited. It would be excellent to read the book with others. Count me in all the way from Australia.
SO excited to hear this, Vicki. and to meet a kindred from down under! THank you for sharing the book with your friends! #kindreds
I am so excited about the groups! I am definitely going to gather some kindred hearts to re-read the book with – and I just forwarded the email to my daughter so that she can start a group, too! We both loved your book and were so touched by it! I can’t wait to read it again with others!