Last week was an i-need-flowers kind of week. I bought some hydrangeas last Monday and they became my guiding tone for the week.
The flowers helped me stay in touch with the beauty and the slowness that my soul wanted. So, as much was in my power, I gave myself some extra time outside.
While the kids were in school, I went on an extra long hike, even though I felt pressured to do a gazillion other things that could result in a lot more productivity that can be measured.
One day, I lingered outside to talk to a new friend outside of my son’s classroom and walked her to her car before she left for work.
I went to the library and checked out some books. Met with a friend for tea at night and waited as I read.
Another day, I had a very difficult conversation with someone who said something that bothered me. I was quiet at the time when she first spoke with me. But afterwards, I wish I had said something. The old Bonnie would’ve just let it go.
But, I decided that I needed to share my thoughts with her next time I saw her, even though it was apparent she would be unhappy with my views. But, I thought it was important for me to express my thoughts — not to convince or persuade her, but to engage in life with God — even when it means I may have to experience the brokenness of being misunderstood. It was important that I be present — because how can I comfort others if I hide from life myself?
“We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness.
God is the friend of silence.
See how nature – trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence;
see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence…
We need silence to be able to touch souls.”
– Mother Teresa
It’s interesting that the extra silent time I had enabled me to find the strength — t0 hear my own voice because I had shared them with God. The quiet time also reassured me that no matter how the conversation went, I could go back to the quiet and find God’s comforting understanding — and beauty in nature to remind me — that all of life was an experience — that would enable me to bring all parts of myself to others — because I was living fresh and vulnerably in the world.
“Faithfulness in small things is how God grows something of importance.”
– Lambert Dolphin
{a quiet morning}
As the week progressed, I sensed anxiety over how simple and quiet my week was going. Was I wasting time, when I could be producing and working on bigger things — something to show for the week. Progress towards… something?
God reminded me in my anxiety and stress, He led me to write something from my heart — that only arose because I was spending time feeding my soul, taking risks to seek out new friendships that were soulful and real — people who enjoyed spending time with me, even though I didn’t have anything to offer other than my company.
I want to live this soul-feeding life even more deeply — so I could discover new things — sing a new song, rather than the old way.
I want to be invited into whatever God has ahead of me, instead of controlling the experience of living.
I wish I new what it is God has for me next.
But, in order for me to live, there will be risk, pain, and disappointment because I don’t want to control my life (it doesn’t work anyways as I’ve come to learn).
I want the organic story of God leading me — more than protection from the reality of what hurts.
Because in that reality — I am connecting to people in a real, deep way — and to God who loves and cares for me.
And I’d rather create and be known, than to produce and perform and hide my heart.
So, this my prayer — begun like a inhale last week — that I want to exhale this week…
This is my prayer.
Invited rather than driven.
This is the quality of my soul I am choosing to nourish and value.
And I’m beginning this week with a smile — looking for all the small and quiet ways that God will be inviting me into.
Brush away all that stands in your way — between Him and you. Between your friends and your heart. Your spouse and you. Your children and you.
Between yourself and you.
Be present.
Nothing is more important. Nothing.
Be present with God. Connecting to your heart – your feelings, whether happiness or hurt, is intimacy with God.
Just like a flower, still and at rest, take your rightful place in the world.
Soul to soul. Invited rather than driven.
As God’s beloved.
“let us also lay aside every encumbrance…
which so easily entangles us…
fixing our eyes on Jesus…
so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” Heb12:1-3
~~~~~
Do you find it easier to push yourself to be driven — rather than slowing down enough to experience whatever God is inviting you to receive, try or enjoy — with Him?
I hope you enjoy this week’s {Yes to Rest} #spiritualwhitespace prompts below.
Pull up a chair. Click to comment. This is a restful place to sing our song.
25 Comments
WOW, this fine message speaks to me as I am completing “The Purpose Driven Life” with my weekly Christian women’s life group. Could seem like conflicting messages, but there must be a balance. Jesus is the Answer. We were created to worship Him, however that plays out in daily life.
they DO go together — our being refreshes us to naturally express our purpose. totally awesome, Lisa!
Very much needed. Yesterday, during service at church, we have just learned that we must remain focus on God, shut out distractions of others and even the little voices in our head as well as fully trust God. That in His timing, all things will work out accordingly.
I have so little faith at times, most times and still God loves us.
Thank you Bonnie for sharing this:)
thanks for sharing the words that speak to you this week, May. sharing the journey makes the journey lighter.
I just wanted to say “Thank You” for sharing your beautiful, God-inspired messages with the world. I look forward to reading your messages & lovely photos everyday. It is very inspiring here, safe, loving, informative,caring & just plain awesome. So again, Sincere Thanks to you for helping me.
that really encourages me, Dawn. thank you for your kindness.
I have no choice but to take it slow as the seasonal depression and BiPolar II symptoms have been so bad this last month, along with debilitating fatigue and insomnia~Being out in nature is so calming and soothing. Please pray that I will start to feel better soon. I have been getting so much worse over the past few yrs~just finishing up 2 months of Transcranial Magnetic Therapy along with talk therapy ~and all 3 of the therapists are Christ-followers! The TMS seems to have aggravated the BiPolar symptoms. I have weekly mood swings, but during the “highs” I just seem normal, except I talk incessantly and sleep even worse than normal…but am still totally exhausted. Am feeling rather discouraged. I was hopeful that this treatment would help after multiple med failures. Most anything I take (even some natural supplements) just make me MORE agitated. Please pray that my faith will not falter.
thanks for sharing, MK. i’d also encourage you to find a few kindreds to share the journey with… good company makes the journey lighter.
Invited rather than driven. Yes! I need so much to quit driving myself to guilt and inadequacy instead of accepting Jesus’ invitation to intimacy. I long with you, Bonnie: “I want to live this soul-feeding life even more deeply — so I could discover new things — sing a new song, rather than the old way.” Thank you, Bonnie, for understanding my heart.
i hope you enjoy something just for you this week, Trudy. we’re all inadequate… so don’t hold yourself back from whatever you’re invited to enjoy.
On Kaua’i for the week on a long awaited vacation. Having to be on a clear liquid diet. Finding it hard to enjoy and relax. Thank you for your post today. It has encouraged me to do likewise.
Blessings
Linda
may you feel the breeze and hear the ocean whisper your name… even in this. so wonderful you’re surrounded by Kaua’i beauty, Linda.
Bonnie, thank you for this, something which was helpful for me to read today. We’ve had some busy days/weeks … and also some deadlines as we have another trip coming up at the end of this week. Yet, I have been sensing a need to just give myself some space today (some spiritual whitespace kind of space) … and task-driven person that I am, reading this gave me the encouragement I needed to follow my heart. Thank you. Blessings!
follow that prompting… love how you’re aware of those movements in your spirit, Cherry.
I love your recent articles. I have found them to invite peace and relaxation and close communing with God. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with others.
thanks, sharon. that means a lot.
Thanks so much Bonnie! I was just having a conversation with God before i read this about how frustrated i am with my current situation in regards to school fees and homework and how i had worked so hard to plan things out and yet sometimes it still doesn’t go as planned. I was telling God how i hate having the need to control things even though I am not in control and how i desperately need to find peace but feel driven to compete with other people my age in having a typical college life.
Hi Fiyin, what a beautiful name! it’s beautiful how God speaks to us and then uses kindreds to let us know we’re not alone — we have friends for this journey. you are an original — and not typical. 😉 you are God’s artwork. uncover that artwork in you. it’s actually what everyone is longing for behind their “typical” lives – to be true to who they are. Keep listening – and rest each time you hear. You are beautiful as is.
Beautiful. Thank You.
thank you, Jeanne. hope your day is journeying well. #kindreds
I so look forward to your blogposts. They always resonate with me. I have been praying a simple but powerful prayer that I got from Lysa Terkeurst. “Un-rush me Lord.” Wanted to share it with you. As I pray this I am able to focus on God and breathe, letting go of anxiety
beautiful how God is placing this prayer, inviting you to Him. thanks for sharing, Paula.
Love this… Being present in real life is a beautiful thing.. The stillness and quiet can be somewhat unsettling at first.. Then, it’s just freeing and beautiful. Thank you Bonnie for sharing your heart. Beautiful.
thanks, Heather.. i wonder what all God is inviting you into.. 😉
Me too 😉