Last week was an i-need-flowers kind of week.  I bought some hydrangeas last Monday and they became my guiding tone for the week.

The flowers helped me stay in touch with the beauty and the slowness that my soul wanted.  So, as much was in my power, I gave myself some extra time outside.

While the kids were in school, I went on an extra long hike, even though I felt pressured to do a gazillion other things that could result in a lot more productivity that can be measured.

One day, I lingered outside to talk to a new friend outside of my son’s classroom and walked her to her car before she left for work.

I went to the library and checked out some books.  Met with a friend for tea at night and waited as I read.

Another day, I had a very difficult conversation with someone who said something that bothered me.  I was quiet at the time when she first spoke with me. But afterwards, I wish I had said something.  The old Bonnie would’ve just let it go.

But, I decided that I needed to share my thoughts with her next time I saw her, even though it was apparent she would be unhappy with my views. But, I thought it was important for me to express my thoughts — not to convince or persuade her, but to engage in life with God — even when it means I may have to experience the brokenness of being misunderstood.  It was important that I be present — because how can I comfort others if I hide from life myself?

“We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness.
God is the friend of silence.
See how nature – trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence;
see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence…
We need silence to be able to touch souls.”
– Mother Teresa

It’s interesting that the extra silent time I had enabled me to find the strength — t0 hear my own voice because I had shared them with God. The quiet time also reassured me that no matter how the conversation went, I could go back to the quiet and find God’s comforting understanding — and beauty in nature to remind me — that all of life was an experience — that would enable me to bring all parts of myself to others — because I was living fresh and vulnerably in the world.

“Faithfulness in small things is how God grows something of importance.”
– Lambert Dolphin
{a quiet morning}

As the week progressed, I sensed anxiety over how simple and quiet my week was going.  Was I wasting time, when I could be producing and working on bigger things — something to show for the week. Progress towards… something?

God reminded me in my anxiety and stress, He led me to write something from my heart — that only arose because I was spending time feeding my soul, taking risks to seek out new friendships that were soulful and real — people who enjoyed spending time with me, even though I didn’t have anything to offer other than my company.

I want to live this soul-feeding life even more deeply — so I could discover new things — sing a new song, rather than the old way.

I want to be invited into whatever God has ahead of me, instead of controlling the experience of living.

I wish I new what it is God has for me next.

But, in order for me to live, there will be risk, pain, and disappointment because I don’t want to control my life (it doesn’t work anyways as I’ve come to learn).

I want the organic story of God leading me — more than protection from the reality of what hurts.

Because in that reality — I am connecting to people in a real, deep way — and to God who loves and cares for me.

And I’d rather create and be known, than to produce and perform and hide my heart.

So, this my prayer — begun like a inhale last week — that I want to exhale this week…

This is my prayer.

Invited rather than driven.

This is the quality of my soul I am choosing to nourish and value.

And I’m beginning this week with a smile — looking for all the small and quiet ways that God will be inviting me into.

Brush away all that stands in your way — between Him and you.  Between your friends and your heart.  Your spouse and you. Your children and you.

Between yourself and you.

Be present.

Nothing is more important. Nothing.

Be present with God.  Connecting to your heart – your feelings, whether happiness or hurt, is intimacy with God.

Just like a flower, still and at rest, take your rightful place in the world.

Soul to soul.  Invited rather than driven.

As God’s beloved.

“let us also lay aside every encumbrance…
which so easily entangles us…
fixing our eyes on Jesus…
so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” Heb12:1-3

~~~~~

Do you find it easier to push yourself to be driven — rather than slowing down enough to experience whatever God is inviting you to receive, try or enjoy — with Him?  

I hope you enjoy this week’s {Yes to Rest} #spiritualwhitespace prompts below. 

Pull up a chair. Click to comment. This is a restful place to sing our song.