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10 Ways To Redefine Gratitude (From Me to You)

By Bonnie Gray • November 26, 2014 • 6 Comments

I have mixed feelings about the Thanksgiving holiday.

On one hand, it’s a wonderful holiday tucked right before Christmas with no agenda other than to gather and eat a traditional turkey meal.

But for some of us, Thanksgiving holds a different kind of stress: Brokenness.

There’s a myth in some Christian social circles that if we’re struggling with discouragement, doubt or feelings of hurt or sadness, it may be due to the fact that we’re not being grateful.

For most of my life, I’ve been afraid to share about the times I’ve felt overwhelmed emotionally, especially when I felt stuck–whether in friendships, ministry, my career, relationships or dysfunctional family dynamics—and particularly during the holidays.

I didn’t want people to misjudge me, because I honestly have been grateful for everything God’s done for me and provided. But, does being grateful mean emotional amnesia?

Guilt and Compartmentalizing

I don’t think God wants to guilt us into feeling better about our struggles because others are suffering more.

I’ve always felt like I had to hold my breath until God resolved my journey so I could then show how God came through for me. I based my faith on how competent I was in being happy and strong until everything ended up wrapped up with a pretty bow.

But, most of life isn’t like this.

I had to learn this the hard way. Compartmentalizing certain parts of my story led me to eventually experience anxiety and panic attacks so intense I literally struggled to breathe.

Most of us have been there. Sometimes, when I was down about things, someone would say, “Be thankful. There are so many people who are worse off.” I know it was well intended, but it made me feel guilty and ashamed, so I hid those parts of me that suffered.

That doesn’t sit right with me anymore. In my journey to heal, I’m experiencing a new freedom and intimacy with God that comes from confiding in my wounds and fears.

I don’t think God wants to guilt us into feeling better about our struggles because others are suffering more.

Jesus didn’t say to the blind man, “Be thankful you can walk.”

Jesus had compassion for each person’s plight and condition, never comparing….

… {to be continued}

To Read The Rest Of the Story

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Today, I’d like to share an article I wrote for Relevant Magazine: 10 Ways To Redefine Gratefulness — that has become one of top 5 trending posts on Relevant this week.

To read the rest of the story – click here to join me over at Relevant Magazine, where today’s post is published.

I hope these 10 Ways to Redefine Gratefulness will refresh you for Thanksgiving Day, just as it has for me.

If God’s brought someone you know on a journey through a difficult season, I invite you to read the entire article on Relevant Magazine — and share the article with them.

May this article encourage you and those you love.  From me to you.

Here And Now
My Heartfelt Thank You!

I want to say here and now — I am thanking God for you this Thanksgiving.  

You were among those I listed at #10 on the 10 Ways to Redefine Gratefulness. 

Thank you for sharing the quiet with me.

Thank you, for celebrating the release of the book birthed in my soul this summer:  Finding Spiritual Whitespace.  Thank you for telling your family and friends about my book — giving this book its wings.  I would have never written it, if you had not been here.

This book’s message would not be reaching the hearts and hands of new readers, apart from your recommendations.

Thank you for giving me courage, before I knew God would resurrect my dreams, by sharing your stories.

By sharing your voice, I realized that I had a voice to share as well.

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May you have a real, Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow.

I’ll be taking a break from the blog tomorrow, to be present and enjoy some spiritual whitespace with Eric, the boys and some friends.

If you’re on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter, feel free to share your Thanksgiving moments with me using #spiritualwhitespace.  I’ll share mine as the moments prompt.

I’ll be thinking of you as I take time to create some new memories. I’ll be thinking of you, with affection, between bites of turkey with cranberry sauce, because what’s sweetening my heart is the gift of kindreds. Like you.  

Love, Bonnie

Take a virtual coffee break with me now. Come with me now over to Relevant.  Click here — http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/10-ways-redefine-gratitude

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6 Comments

  • Reply Ann November 26, 2014 at 4:50 am

    Again, thank you Bonnie!
    I am so grateful that you are sharing all that you are
    learning. It is all so relevant to where I am right now
    and is giving me courage!
    Ann

  • Reply Carol Longenecker Hiestand November 26, 2014 at 7:25 am

    I agree and relate to each and every thing on this list. Hardly anyone admits a struggle with
    “gratitude.” I have a post (more like a rant) rattling around in my brain that i’d like to title “my problem with gratitude lists.” the core of my rant is being grateful does not mean i will now feel better about the struggle I am having….Be grateful and you’ll feel better.

  • Reply Trudy November 26, 2014 at 8:51 am

    As always, Bonnie, you touch a deep place in me and give me inspiration and encouragement. Thank you. I love the 10 ways. And I really identified with this – “I don’t think God wants to guilt us into feeling better about our struggles because others are suffering more.” I’m trying to remember this as I too often beat myself up and think I should be more thankful because others have it worse, but I’m learning that God wants us to acknowledge our own pain and come to Him broken and real. Have a joy-filled Thanksgiving!

  • Reply Jacinta November 26, 2014 at 2:03 pm

    Thank you for sharing so openly & inspiringly. It makes me reflect & realise how this year is simply a year of journeying in brokenness. & it’s a wonderful thing that God is doing. I used to struggle with panic attacks too. In fact, I didn’t even know what it was till much later. But praise God that after I received Him into my life, such attacks were pretty much gone! God is good, and I’m so thankful for you & your kind words too. God bless your Thanksgiving!

  • Reply Angie November 26, 2014 at 11:15 pm

    I love the ten points on ways God redefines gratitude. The I CAN statements give us permission to be real and, in doing so, to really trust. Such wisdom. Thank you!

  • Reply Nancy Ruegg November 29, 2014 at 7:21 am

    ‘Love the ten new (to me, anyway) blessings you have highlighted in your article. Even in the midst of difficulty or pain, we can find many things for which to be grateful. Thank you, Bonnie, for your honesty and humility. And praise God for the creative viewpoint he has given you! Your article will undoubtedly touch many hearts.

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