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Before the Spaces Fill: How To Give Yourself a Soulful Holiday

By Bonnie Gray • November 17, 2014 • 7 Comments

The holidays are coming… are you ready?

The answer depends on who you’re talking to.

If it’s just an acquaintance, you may answer courteously.

But, if you talk to a soul friend — someone who you trust — you might begin to confide how you’re really doing. Inside.

Are you stressing out about what will or won’t be happening?

Or maybe you’re so excited with anticipation — filled with dreams — imagining the memories you want to create.

But you’re not sure how it will all turn out…

…I can’t wait.  This year is special but overwhelming. How am I going to get everything done in time?  

…I’m not sure what we’ll be doing.  The plans are up in the air/falling apart.

…I love the holidays.  But, I’m longing for something special with God and my family this year.

Maybe you’ve numbed yourself to the holidays because you’re soul-weary.

Perhaps you’re like me, wanting to do something different this year.

I want to start some new traditions for my family, but I’m not sure what it will look like.  In the past, I’ve dealt with a lot of dysfunctional family drama.

But, two years ago, when my panic attacks began, I decided to create some space to prioritize my well-being, so I could heal.  As I saw the impact that fear and guilt had done to me growing up, I wanted to keep my children safe from those effects.

I wanted to begin learning what it means to really enjoy the holidays in my heart — instead of just surviving them.

Feeling a Desire

My friend Merrianne adopted our family on Thanksgiving the last couple years — which was such a gift to me, Eric and our kids — to enjoy a new spiritual family experience.

But this year, I’ve been feeling a desire to create our own family traditions.

However it turns out, I want it to be a soulful Thanksgiving.  Meaningful and personal.

But I know I’ll never create new holiday memories with my husband and two little boys, if we don’t give ourselves permission to create the space for us.

This takes a lot of soul work — following God to create new things.

It takes a lot of emotional strength.  It can feel scary breaking from the past.

Soul-led

I’ve been thinking a lot about Jesus — how he created a new way of celebrating the Passover that night before Gethsamane. How Jesus was single, far away from home.

I imagine Jesus creating new memories, as he lifted the cup and the bread with his untraditional family, calling them his brothers.

I imagine Jesus loving them, washing their feet — breaking social norm — as the servant, not as the teacher.

Jesus was always doing things that were off script.

Jesus was untraditionally soul-led and Spirit-filled.

Before The Spaces Fill

Jesus took time to really be present — to enjoy every moment — even though He knew sorrow awaited him.

I’m not sure how the holidays will end up, but I know as long as Jesus is with me, I can create new memories with my family and Him.

So, wherever you are on the journey this holiday, I have a challenge for you.

Before all the spaces on your calendar gets filled and crammed with other’s expectations — including your own — along with what the media, the culture, the retail advertisements, and our past tells us we must have in order to have a good holidays — stop.

Instead of working off of a shopping list or a to do list first, mark off some time to feed your soul and those you love.

I’d like to challenge you to mark off time on your calendar for:

1. Yourself (allow God to touch you)

2. You and your husband.

3. You and your child.

4. You and your family.

5. You and a girlfriend (or a couple of girlfriends).

That is what I do at the beginning of every month or the close of a month.

It doesn’t have to be big. It could be very small.

The important thing is this: be intentional.

Then, whatever time you spend will be infused with your heart.

Prioritize feeding your soul. Then, you’ll be energized– from within — to do all the wonderful preparations that makes the holidays so memorable.

It will no longer be a chore. It will be a joy. A peace.

The holidays will be filled love.

A Holiday Challenge From the Redwoods

The Christian Broadcasting Network of The 700 Club — asked me to videotape a challenge for readers to slow down and hear God during the busy holiday season.

Today, I’d like to share this new video challenge with you!  Click below to watch the video.

Find Your Whitespace - Holidays - Video Challenge

~~~~~

What are your hopes for the holidays?

Pull up a Chair.  Click to share a comment.

Join Me!
An Online Spiritual Whitespace Face(Book) Club
in January 2015

To kick off the new year refreshed,
I will hosting a bookclub on Facebook to read Finding Spiritual Whitespace together.
Just like my Facebook Page to participate!  Details at www.thebonniegray.com/bookclub.

final_ig2

Be known.
Host a book club in real life.

If you feel prompted, invite 1-4 friends to read the book together.
Here is a picture of the girls I invited to create a “beta” Whitespace Book Club before the book released.  So you see, it’s been “proofed” and reader approved!  The girls didn’t know each other when we began. Now, we’re kindreds.
Sign up at http://bit.ly/bookclubhost.

bookclubhost_invite_spiritualwhitespace_final

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Pull up a Chair

This is a quiet space for you and me. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Click to comment »

7 Comments

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{When You Long To Rest } A Soulful Spiritual Whitespace Face{Book} Club
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7 Comments

  • Reply Tara Lombard November 17, 2014 at 5:42 am

    Bonnie, loved the video of you in the forest! It is cold and rainy hee in New England, so my whitespace today will be indoors with a cup of pumpkin spice coffee.
    My hope for the holidays is to experience Jesus incarnate – God with me – each day of the advent season. You are so right that pour days naturally FILL to the brim with noise, demands, and expectations when we are not mindful of the personal, individual love God has for our souls. A day without sitting with Him passes in a blur of busyness, especially as Christmas approaches. I’m stocking up on candles and rounding up my Christmas CDs (yes, still old school with music) and committing to make Jesus with me a priority this year.
    Blessings to you as you continue to share the precious message God has worked into your heart through your journey of birthing Spiritual Whitespace.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray November 17, 2014 at 11:38 am

      Me, too Tara. I have a box of Christmas video & CDs for the kids & it’s a new tradition for me too! We’re all so looking forward to breaking out those boxes!

  • Reply Christine November 17, 2014 at 9:35 am

    How wonderful to hear and see you speak, Bonnie. This year is going to be a wonderful Thanksgiving. My newly converted son, David, is having everyone over for Thanksgiving. He also has a new baby boy! So this year will be especially blessed. I hope you have a very blessed Thanksgiving, too.
    Oh, by the way…I could not find a place on your site to change my email address. I had been having problems with Yahoo and have an outlook.com mailbox and have been moving mail over to the outlook one. I guess I have to re-subscribe to you so I can your posts in outlook and unsubscribe my Yahoo address.
    Anyway, much love to you, Bonnie. Your posts always, always brighten my day!

  • Reply Morag November 17, 2014 at 4:06 pm

    I love your new step of making videos – you have a lovely presence. The word that hit me from what you said was trying to ‘disappear’ – I have been getting sucked into social media when I’m avoiding things I know I need to do in an attempt to not ‘be here’. I am trying to be more prepared for the holidays this year, but so much is out of my control. Thank you for the encouragement to do what I can to connect with the people I love – that being the more important thing. Now, if only I could find my dayplanner amongst all the clutter…!!

  • Reply Jenni DeWitt November 18, 2014 at 8:26 am

    Bonnie, I watched your videos, and they were was so wonderful. You can never go wrong including the ocean if you ask me. : ) This idea of a book club is so exciting! What a perfect way to start the new year. As the caretaker of the family, it is so easy to put everybody else’s needs in front of our own. But we are God’s daughters, and He wants us to take care of ourselves too! I know my earthly father doesn’t like it when he sees that I have allowed myself to be run ragged, because he loves me and cares about my well being. I can only imagine our Father in Heaven feels the same. Thanks for an opportunity to care for ourselves and grow in our Christian friendships!

  • Reply muchalone November 20, 2014 at 11:04 am

    Just been wondering…waiting to be told if I’m allowed to join the traditional family Thanksgiving this year…and wondering if I should just make other plans instead, but what other plans would I make? No close friends, and the people I am with at work/church all talk about how they are looking forward to their family gatherings…and I’m not exactly without a family, but since I discovered broken marriage vows, I feel like the lone adult in our house…so, I’m thinking of how to focus more on my kids…and wondering…what would make good memories in the midst of my dark November days…

  • Reply Brandi Plymale November 23, 2014 at 8:29 pm

    @muchalone

    You are never alone, as God walks with you through this trial and as Jesus was acquainted with betrayal at the hands of Judas, so He is compassionate and filled with love for us when we walk through things such as you are walking through. I just want to encourage you and let you know that Father God is madly, deeply, in love with you and He has not forgotten you. Praying for you now that God’s peace that passes all understanding would wrap around you like a warm blanket, even now.

    @Bonnie-
    Bonnie, thank you for this. Just today I was feeling overwhelmed with all of the various demands and feel like I can’t keep up with the to-do list. It almost makes me feel like my life can be simplified down to a simple to do list at times. I was talking to the Lord about not wanting to miss spending time with Him in a real tangible way, and sort of asking/ Him how Christmas should look and how He wants us to celebrate. I trust that He will unveil that as I seek Him. I want to slow down and enjoy these days, because they do seem to go by so fast! I pray God blesses you and your family and your Thanksgiving Celebration!

    With Love in Christ,
    Brandi

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