{feel free to enjoy/pin/share today’s word art soul goodie}
(At the end of today’s blog post, I created a special video about news I’m nervous & excited to share with you! Brew a cup of coffee & make sure to view, sweet kindreds.)
I’m afraid I’ll break down, God.
I’m afraid I’ll cry so hard. And I don’t want to.
I’m going to see little children who want to see Your love. In two days, I’m stepping on an airplane to fly to a foreign country on wings whose bones have just been set. The ink of my own journey to heal from painful childhood memories has hardly had time to dry. The last panic attack I had was last March.
Yet, You’re inviting me to go where I haven’t been, to look into the eyes who long to know they have a voice.
I’m afraid I can’t bear the weight of their stories. Of my own story, when I’m just learning to gather the courage to speak — in the voice of the little girl who is still alive in me.
Messy
I’m scared it will be messy, and I won’t know how to hold in my heart all my eyes will see — and the memories it might trigger.
What if I break down and the children end up seeing my cry? When I ought to be Your ambassador to shine Your light and offer cups of soul refreshment?
Maybe what I’m really afraid of is who I am when I touch the hand of someone who suffers the pain of not having a voice.
Maybe when I stand in the presence of such quiet strength and bravery of the little children You love — and the courageous families who hold onto hope like morning dew clings to clover — with tender beauty — the me who is vulnerable, needy, and feels so inadequate will emerge.
What if I’m not enough?
Then, I found a letter from God, in return.
A Letter
In two days, we will wake up to Valentine’s Day — and the stories of love that have broken us, healed us, and even the ones that have shamed us, with words we wish we never heard or heartbreaks we longed to never taste — will surface.
Before I travel with Compassion International to meet children of special needs in the Dominican Republic to write about how their stories will irrevocably shape mine — and ours — I want to share God’s love note with you… (to be continued)
…To read the rest of the story, click here to join me over at DaySpring’s (in)courage site, where today’s post is published.
Take a virtual coffee break together? I’d love to be with you there.
A Special Video Message For You
click here to watch today’s video – i’m nervous & excited to share with you!
Has God been tapping on your heart — to be God’s love letter to a child in need?
Sponsor a child with Compassion using my link bit.ly/sponsorwithbonnie & receive an exclusive Lisa Leonard Necklace created just for this trip (while supplies last). Join me as I blog intimate stories on my trip with Compassion this week in the Dominican Republic. I’ll be joining Holly Gerth, Lisa Leonard & Ruth Soukup on this trip!
I’ll also post photos & updates LIVE, in real time, on Facebook & Instagram. Join me on Facebook by liking my FB Page. Click here to join me on Instagram.
{Today’s post is part of my online Spiritual Whitespace {Face}Book Club. It’s free! Join anytime by liking my Facebook Page and order a copy of the book. Find out more here https://www.thebonniegray.com/bookclub}
Serve up your Beloved Brew.
Whole-hearted Writing. You & Jesus.
1) To join this linkup, please use the Beloved Brews Badge in your blog post & place a link back to http://bit.ly/belovedbrews in your post. It’s a welcome sign, so we can recognize you are part of this community when we visit & invite others to join.
2) To link up: click the blue linkup button at the end of today’s post to submit the url of your blog post. Or join by sharing a comment.
3) Visit & comment on the post before yours. Saying hi. This is how we make this community is real!
This Thursday’s 2/12/15 Writing Prompts: pick one prompt::1) Share a picture of yourself as a little girl with your blog post. Write about what you enjoyed doing as a little girl ALONG WITH a memory of you enjoying that something you cherish. 2) For those doing the book club: read Chapt 4: Cut up & Chapt 5: The Screen Door. Journal anything that comes from your reading.
** No linkup next Thurs 2/19/15 due to the Compassion Trip!** Our next Beloved Brews will Thursday 2/26/15 Writing Prompt: Write a letter to your younger self. What would would say to your younger you knowing what you know now? Or Read chpt 5: The Basement & chpt6: The Pink Outfit. Journal anything from your reading.
approach it any way you want. be you.
15 Comments
Hi Bonnie,
You always pick the loveliest locations for your videos. Sound of Music, anyone?
What a blessing you will be to those kids, lending your voice and kindness to tell them they matter. Thank you for bringing awareness to Compassion International. They are the real deal…I love my Compassion kids!
Will be praying for you. Safe travels.
Bonnie, praying for you & your trip this week – how exciting! i will be following you on IG and can’t wait to hear everything God is doing through your generous heart!
How incredibly exciting! Isn’t it amazing how far you’ve come in a year!?
I’ll definitely be praying for you as you go and reach out to those sweet children. Sharing God’s infinite love with them.
((((HUGS))))
Bonnie, I always love your videos! I really do. You are so precious. I have just adopted my first child from the Dominican Republic because of you. God has been stirring in my heart for a long time. Today everything came together. It was time. I will eagerly look forward to following your journey and getting a glimpse into the world where my sponsored child lives. I’m so grateful for you, Bonnie. Have a safe and blessed trip!
[…] https://www.thebonniegray.com/2015/02/maybe-the-story-that-breaks-us-makes-us-beloved/ […]
Precious Bonnie,
I believe this journey will be an organic stone of remembrance that YOU will set on the top of the healing foundation you have already built as the Lord directed you. This stone. This stone is waiting for your hand to scoop it out of God’s creation and place it where it belongs. The work is already done, Bonnie. this healing work, though fresh, is complete in you. And now… “How delightful it is to see approaching over the mountains the feet of a messenger who announces peace, who brings good news, who announces deliverance, who says to Zion, ‘Your God reigns!'” Isaiah 52:7 (NET) Bonnie… Go in JOY!
Oh Bonnie this is your song –
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGkmPeVpBbI
Dear Bonnie,
I just finished reading your posting about the children with “special” needs in the Dominican Republic. I will definitely put you on my prayer list for your trip, safe flight, safe return, and most of all a very blessed time with them that blesses you and the children. Just your being there with them, will be a blessing to them, as you will become a light in their lives, and I’m sure that they need that light. I live in Tianjin, China with my Chineses wife, Yirong, go to fellowship at an international Christian body and have become involved in the Tianjin orphanage after meeting a fellow American there. I am now going out to the Adult Facility for one full day, Thursday, and doing my best to teach a small group of the residents some very basic English. These are children of God, who have spent their entire existence on earth in an orphanage, where in China, if they are not adopted by the age of 14 yrs, they have to go to an adult home and they will spend the rest of their lives in a facility like that. Just the meer fact that a foreigner will come out and spend a day with them, is enough to bring smiles and warmth to their hearts. I know I can’t change the circumstances of their living conditions, but just as Jesus said that He came into the world to be a light, we can go to places such as these homes for children and be a light in their lives. So go and don’t worry about crying, if you do it’s just fine, go with the flow and it will be alright. No fear, Jesus is with us as we go to these places and He was very clear about us not having to fear. God bless you on your journey..Gary S..Tianjin, China
Thanking God and praying for you and your traveling companions this Valentine’s Day. Be the beloved for sure, with His Blessed Assurance. This is the day the LORD has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it wherever He has placed us in Christ.
[…] Faith said in her post, “I’m afraid I’ll cry so hard. And I don’t want to.” As I read her words I found myself once again holding back tears because I truly know that feeling. […]
[…] (…read the entire post at Faith Barista.) […]
Hello Bonnie, like you I had a very traumatic and heartbreaking Childhood and I have suffered as an Adult too, some I caused myself.
Someone asked me why did God let it happen, He doesn’t , He Tolerates it and it grieves Him, Jesus cried, He was known as a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.
God knows we will suffer in a fallen world and He knows all about the Children who you are going to share with and so He sent Bonnie to hug them and tell them He Loves them greatly. Below is the Scripture God gave me in my Storm.
Isaiah 43:1-3 – Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Saviour.”
Jeremiah 29 :11-12 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Lamentations 3: 33 For God doth not afflict willingly nor grieve the children of men.
Christian Love in Christ Jesus – Anne
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