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Move Out of Autopilot Mode: Choose Your Worth By Choosing to Rest

By Bonnie Gray • February 26, 2015 • 21 Comments

{my images are free goodies for you to enjoy & share}

{psst.. I have a soul-stirring video below  to share with you today I created with my friend Henriette. We share an honest conversation between kindreds… with you.}

For those of us who are encouragers, we’re often shy about voicing our needs.

We don’t want to add to anyone’s burdens. We often liven in autopilot mode.

Especially if we find ourselves in a stressful situation, sometimes we are the most vulnerable.  We’re afraid to take time for ourselves because we don’t really believe there’s a place for us in this world, among our friends, apart from what we can do for others.

We don’t know our worth.

Sometimes it’s the encouragers, the strong ones that struggle with our experiences – putting ourselves to the side.  As the strong ones, we feel we add to people’s burdens, if we were ever to express or be in touch with our need.

Do you often live in “autopilot” mode & put yourself to the side when life gets frantic?

I wondered if I was the only one, so I recorded an unscripted conversation with my friend Henriette. What she shared is so vulnerable & powerful. Click to below watch today’s Soul Mocha Video “Why Choosing to Rest Is Choosing Your Worth” & share your comments below.

Wk 4 Video - book club - Henriette

I’ve returned from my trip to the Dominican Republic with Compassion (click here to read the life-changing stories I experienced). We’re continuing reading of my book Finding Spiritual Whitespace Chpt 4: Cup Up & Chpt 5: The Screen Door — with this video. 

We don’t want to feel weak. We’re afraid others wouldn’t love us if we couldn’t offer them the strength we always give.

We may have adopted this as our coping mechanism when others around us struggle.  We may feel it’s the only way to feel in control.

But, with God, there is one place we can let go of that heavy burden.  With God, He doesn’t need us to be in autopilot mode.

God’s heart breaks for us when He sees us moving through our days merely functioning, performing — stressing — and surviving.

God longs for us to be a child again.  It’s all He ever wanted — was to provide a place where we can just be me.  And find that little girl emerge again — with all her stories, her needs and wants.

So He can comfort her, take care of her and put her first place in his heart.

So He can love her.

“Encourage her to believe. there is a place for her.
comfort her when she cries.

be patient. show her kindness.

don’t give up on the little girl on you and on me.”
— excerpt from my book Finding Spiritual Whitespace.

We all long for. Someone to say —

i see you. i hear you.

i value your story.

let me love you.

take time to feed your soul. enjoy rest.

God wants us to make time to come to him.

God wants us to be loved.

[SHARE] Pull a chair. Click to comment.
This is a quiet place for you and me. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

** Who can you share today’s encouragement with? **

[THE DAILY WORD CROISSANT]

“How precious are your thoughts about me, O God… Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you.” ps. 13: 17, 18

FindingSpiritualWhitespace_BookDaySpring{this post is part of the #SpiritualWhitespace Book Club. get a copy of my book Finding Spiritual Whitespace & join in. Click here to learn more.}

 

 

Beloved Brews Link Up

I’m back from the Dominican Compassion Trip – welcome to our Beloved Brews weekly link-up! You’re a kindred spirit, so I’m asking you to pour out a little love with your words every Thursday {link-up at the end of the blog post}. Simply write a blog post from your heart about what God’s sharing with you and then share it here. Don’t have a blog? You can write a comment. If you’re reading this by email, go to thebonniegray.com to read the comments & share your voice too.

Important! Please use the Beloved Brews button in your blog post so others can easily join in with us {use this html code here}. And when you link up your post, take a moment to leave an encouraging comment on the one that’s linked up just before yours. Thanks, sweet kindreds!

Serve up your Beloved Brew.
Whole-hearted Writing. You & Jesus.

beloved_brews_faithbarista_badgeWe’ll link up next Thursday March 5th, 2015!
Writing prompt:
choose your own topic or share how you’re feeling this week.

Share With Others

Share Your Voice

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This is a quiet space for you and me. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Click to comment »

21 Comments

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21 Comments

  • Reply jeri February 26, 2015 at 10:23 am

    Bonnie, awhile back I commented on your post about you being more active on social media. I had said it was kind of a necessary evil when we try to build our brands, and our blogs. Since then I have decided that this social media thing isn’t for me. It’s corrupting my ‘spiritual whitespace’. My heart hurts for the nastiness that can be read on social media. It’s not worth the damage to my heart, so I am choosing to take a rest from social media. Maybe not exactly what you meant in this post, but it makes total sense to me. Social media is work! How can I be an encourager when my heart hurts from working at this social media thing? Thanks for your encouraging words, always. Jeri

    • Reply Bonnie Gray February 26, 2015 at 3:06 pm

      i took a two year break from social media myself during my journey of finding rest and infusing my life with beauty and feeding my soul. social media is about building brand and we are not products! i’m using the tools of online space to share my heart as vulnerably & honestly as i can. not to build a brand, but to share. but, i have specific reasons for how i engage. you are doing a good thing by unplugging and following your heart. and prioritizing your soul rest, Jeri. give yourself permission to listen to your heart. there’s a lot of “image crafting” – so it is a stressful environment. enjoy the spiritual whitespace!

      • Reply Jeri February 26, 2015 at 3:21 pm

        Agreed! We are not products, we are people. I hope I didn’t come off as accusing you of just building a brand. That was not what I meant. It’s just tough out there. My blog is also a place where I share honestly. But now I feel i have focused too much on the building and not the sharing part. I enjoy reading your journey. 🙂

        • Reply Bonnie Gray February 26, 2015 at 3:28 pm

          oh, you didn’t come across that way at all! i didn’t take it that way, Jeri 🙂 i was just affirming your decision and sharing that it’s taken me a long time to find my way — and find a perspective that frees my heart to engage again. and encourage you!

  • Reply Jenni DeWitt February 26, 2015 at 10:44 am

    Oh my goodness, I can relate to this. I have been noticing lately how I tend to push my feelings down and tell myself, “Toughen up!” But then in hindsight I have compassion for that past Jenni. I can see that it felt hard at the time, because it was hard. I’m trying to be more compassionate with myself in the moment. Beautiful video. Thanks for continuing to share your heart with us. The chapter about the screen door was so very powerful and emotional to read.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray February 26, 2015 at 3:08 pm

      i love how you’re listening to your heart, Jenni. and giving yourself permission to share your voice. it’s so freeing to know this journey i’m on to live open hearted is shared together. that screen door chapter is one we all experience … in one way or another. 😉 hugs from CA..

  • Reply Veronica February 26, 2015 at 11:27 am

    “We all long for. Someone to say — i see you. i hear you. i value your story. let me love you.”
    I remember that when Reese Witherspoon gave her Oscar acceptance speech a few years ago for her portrayal of June Carter Cash, she said “we all want to know we matter.”

    Henrietta, thank you for sharing your story. I can relate to so much of what you said. And thank you Bonnie for sharing the screen story. When my father left, my mother was severely depressed and I had to assume the “fixer” role where the child became the parent during the moments she was unable to cope. You both have a beautiful friendship and it is my heart’s longing. To be able to share from the heart, to be known, and still be loved is something truly God given!

    • Reply Bonnie Gray February 26, 2015 at 3:13 pm

      God sees our stories, Veronica .. it’s time for us… to make space for what moves and touches our hearts. God’s longing is for us to be the beloved. His beloved. happy we’re on this journey together. #kindreds

  • Reply » Move Out of Autopilot Mode: Choose Your Worth By Choosing to Rest February 26, 2015 at 12:01 pm

    […] {my images are free goodies for you to enjoy & share} {psst.. I have a soul-stirring video below to …read more       […]

  • Reply Nancy February 26, 2015 at 12:35 pm

    Oh my goodness is this ever me! When I was having a hard day a few weeks ago, a friend was very scared for me. She told me that if anyone else called her crying, she’d be okay with that, but I’m the strong one! She nearly fell apart just because I wasn’t supposed to be falling apart.
    Well, I agree that there’s a time and place for being that strong one and also a very important time and place to allow God and friends to minister to us–to be the receiver of someone/Someone else’s strength. Thanks for spreading the word on the importance of taking care of ourselves.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray February 26, 2015 at 3:18 pm

      some people may find it unsettling.. if you read my chapter on “The Phone Call”, you’ll know i totally experienced what you’re experiencing, nancy… but, it’s been so worth it to just be the all of me and find kindreds who can share the journey. i don’t want to compartmentalize myself ” strong one, tired one, happy one, said one.. ” they’re all me… as is. it’s being human. 🙂

  • Reply Jacinta February 26, 2015 at 4:44 pm

    I can’t seem to find the link-up button/link…so I hope it’s okay for me to share my bookclub post here:

    http://cookiesrainandlove.com/2015/02/27/what-do-you-want-to-eat/

    Thank you for the video & for sharing this journey with us. Am experiencing more and more of God’s true rest for my soul…

    • Reply Bonnie Gray February 26, 2015 at 8:00 pm

      no problem, jacinta! thnx for sharing. there was no linkup today. there will be a linkup next week. 😉

  • Reply Dawn February 26, 2015 at 8:39 pm

    Thank you for sharing these encouraging words. I think what you’ve described is so true of many of us. God doesn’t want us to stuff our problems away. He wants us to take them to him.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray February 26, 2015 at 9:08 pm

      it feels so refreshing when we can see and express this journey for what it is.. and know we’re kindreds. thnx so much, Dawn…

  • Reply Amybr February 27, 2015 at 5:32 am

    Thank-you for this. I have recently been under a great deal.of stress and my family tends to push that I have to be ‘tough’ but then I go home in my silence and just fall apart. Which is not always good being a single mom. To a special needs teenager on top of it. So I needed to know its okay and keep telling myself that and find time to allow myself to fall apart. And let my family know it doesn’t mean I am not being ‘tough’

  • Reply Sue February 27, 2015 at 9:49 pm

    Reading all the comments about crying or falling apart brings to mind a passage we should all keep in mind, When I am weak, then I am strong.—-I often say how I never apologize for my tears because they are the deepest of prayers, and also how they are a God given release. Another favorite passage of mine is the one about “weeping endures for the night, but Joy comes in the morning.” For sure, most of my weeping comes at night, in my bed, when I can let it out to God. My bed is often my sanctuary. I’m often reminded how “The Spirit interprets even our groanings.”. This year I chose “Abide” for my word—my first year to choose a word. I am finally learning to Abide in Christ. Your book was so helpful to me Bonnie, giving permission to nurture the little girl who grew up without nurturing. Your blog has become my favorite. Thank you—deeply, Sue

  • Reply Nicolette March 2, 2015 at 10:51 am

    Hi Bonnie!!
    I swear, I have been following your blog for years now. But I took a “break” from social media and online devo’s because sometimes too many voices for me clouds our HIS voice. But you have been such an immense blessing to me! This post really spoke to me! I blogged about this subject as well. A little bit over multiple posts. I’m ridiculously inconsistent in blogging. But this is so my heart and my story…The Lord is doing so much healing and affirming in my heart through your words! So thank you! Have an amazingly blessed day and week! Xo

    • Reply Bonnie Gray March 2, 2015 at 11:06 am

      nicolette, thnx for entering into this story and the journey God is inviting us into!

  • Reply Anne March 26, 2015 at 5:34 am

    Well, this is a bit behind (by only a month, mind!), but the weekly topic stirs a lot in me as a mother to varied school-aged children. Their schedules already cover my calendar that I rarely find the energy for myself, and after a week off for the spring term break, the very idea of rest never seems attractive but a necessity. Like a washing machine that suddenly breaks down and needs attention before it can begin again, with the mounted up laundry awaiting it during its working absence. Do I even want to write about this? It just comes pouring out.

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