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The Pink Outfit: Why Joy Takes Courage: Choose Joy

By Bonnie Gray • March 5, 2015 • 18 Comments

“Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.” Henri Nouwen

{photo thanks to kindred artist Sarah @stimmerman85  who shared her beautiful #spiritualwhitespace moment painting the little girl in her on a swing on Instagram.
my images are free goodies for you to savor, pin & share
} 

Choosing joy takes courage.

Because choosing joy is really about choosing to believe we are worth it.  That we can choose joy — not because we deserve it.  Not because we’ve earned it.  Purely, radically, only because God says joy is our birthright — as His beloved.

I don’t know about you, but it takes tremendous courage for me to believe that I can choose joy, simply because God wants me to experience it. Taking time to choose joy isn’t selfish.  Choosing joy is soul rest — because joy restores us to our true identity: we are God’s beloved.

Although I’ve believed this truth in my mind, I’ve often struggled to feel joy as an everyday experience in my heart.  I didn’t want people to misjudge me for lack of faith or ungratefulness, so I didn’t tell anyone how I really felt.  I settled for a life of “contentment” rather than joy.  I mistook “contentment” to meant I didn’t need joy.  I thought to be faithful meant I no longer needed to feel joy.

I no longer believe that.  I’m learning to recognize the voice of Jesus when I feel a hunger for joy. I hear Him whispering many invitations for me to awaken — to become His beloved.  

I’m learning that in order to experience joy, God’s given me the choice — to choose joy.

God’s given me a heart and a body to make choices that align with what I believe — not what others want me to be.

I am now learning to listen only to Him and not my critical self or other critical voices that tell me choosing joy is selfish or a time-waster.

I’m choosing to take time to enjoy Spiritual Whitespace. I’m choosing joy.

Choosing joy takes courage.  Today, I’d like to encourage you to take time to choose joy.

[SHARE] Pull a chair. Click to comment. Who can you share today’s encouragement with? 

[THE DAILY WORD CROISSANT]

“Do not despise these small beginnings. ..
Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name; You are mine..”
Zech4:10, Is43:1

[TRY THIS]

 Download this month’s printable Shots of Spiritual Whitespace: 31 Cups of Rest (March).

Frame it, stick it on your fridge, pin it, place it where you can see it.  How many moments of joy can you enjoy this month?

share photos of your joy moments on Instagram/Twitter #SpringChallenge #SpiritualWhitespace

Wk5_March_shotsofSpiritualWhitespace

The Pink Outfit

I’d like to encourage you to choose joy by telling  you a story.

Because if you’re like me, you may not even know where to start.  Maybe like me, you’ll need to go on an exploration, in order to discover what brings you joy. Maybe like me, you’ve never given yourself permission to try new things — because no one has given you permission — to experience joy.

FindingSpiritualWhitespace_BookDaySpringHere below is an excerpt from my book Finding Spiritual Whitespace , for a glimpse into the journey to find joy and rest.

… It’s easy when you’re young to believe dreams can come true. But if you’ve ever truly had a perfect moment carry you to a place of belief -—whether it be a positive pregnancy test, a romance, friendship, a parent, your health, a career, or a life-long dream —- and then had it taken away, then you know what it feels like to see something perfect end up in the refuse of broken dreams and mismatched opportunities.

You begin to wonder whether anything is worth delighting in again. Is anything really worth enjoying if it can’t last anyway?

The Side of the Road

Rest and joy can feel dangerous. For some of us, joy is connected to times where it was ruined, when a simple moment of happiness was decimated by a person, place, or thing.

That is what happened to my pink outfit.  Something perfect and beautiful became ruined, thrown in the garbage.

We stop so easily for others.  Will we stop on the side of our busy lives and let Jesus love us?  Jesus is calling us to make room for Spiritual Whitespace -– to nourish our souls with joy and rest.

That Pink Outfit

Your story will read different from mine.  But, we all have old pink outfits -— joy that has been lost.

God can help us recover the courage to reach for a new pink outfit — by resting today.  Each time we choose joy, we take the step of faith to say, “This is mine. My Father in heaven knows what I like.  And I’m learning to discover what it is, too.”

Choosing joy restores our true identity: we have always been — and will always be — the beloved. God’s beloved.  

Jesus is kind and gentle, whispering in different ways—

You are loved. 
You are cherished.  
Choose joy.

~~~~~

How is God prompting you to choose joy?  

FindingSpiritualWhitespace_BookDaySpringPull up a chair. Click to share a comment. 

{this post is part of the #SpiritualWhitespace Book Club. get a copy of my book Finding Spiritual Whitespace & join in. Click here to learn more.}

Beloved Brews Link Up

Welcome to our Beloved Brews weekly link-up! You’re a kindred, so I’m asking you to pour out a little love with your words every Thursday {publish any day. just link-up on Thursdays}. Simply write a blog post from your heart about what God’s sharing with you and then share it here. Don’t have a blog? You can write a comment. If you’re reading this by email, go to thebonniegray.com to read the comments & share your voice too.

Optional Writing prompt:  {write a blog post from your heart about what God’s sharing with you} or {write a letter to your younger self. think of yourself at an earlier time in life. what would you say to her now about choosing joy?}

Please use the Beloved Brews button in your blog post so others can easily join in with us {use this html code here}. And when you link up your post, take a moment to leave an encouraging comment on the one that’s linked up just before yours. Thank you!

Serve up your Beloved Brew
Whole-hearted Writing. You & Jesus.

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Click Here to Linkup Your Post


 

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18 Comments

  • Reply I blew it! Again. | Journey Pink March 5, 2015 at 7:42 am

    […] & Bonnie Gray […]

  • Reply Maria March 5, 2015 at 8:50 am

    It is so true that sometimes it is hard to choose joy. I went through this for the past year. After I got engaged, I decided I wanted a very small wedding with just my family. I told myself that is what I wanted, when in reality I wanted a big celebration with family and friends. I told myself that I did not want a big celebration because deep down I felt I did not deserve this joy. My dad died of cancer a year and a half ago. As his caregiver I still tell myself some times that I did not do enough, even though in my mind I know I did. So in my still grieving heart I did not allow myself to want the joy of a celebration because he will not be here. But the man God chooses for you will see through this and help you navigate these feelings. And so he did with God’s help. It is hard still to choose joy but I am getting better. 🙂

    • Reply Bonnie Gray March 5, 2015 at 10:19 pm

      Maria! I didn’t know you are a newlywed! Congratulations! I can understand why you are experiencing mixed emotions during this very happy time in your life. a part of you is still grieving and mourning the loss of your father. and both are true. i’m so happy you can express this soulfully tender experience and journey — i think that is healing to be known in the conflicted feelings. so thankful for the beautiful love you share with your husband and may you both experience the joy of your BEAUTIFUL marriage — and just a thought: it’s never too late to throw a BIG party to celebrate a 1st or 2nd anniversary 🙂 as i believe friends would understand the mixed emotions of your wedding and would love to celebrate with you! i would if i were your friends there! thnx for sharing.

  • Reply Your Best Offered - Precepts & Life Preservers March 5, 2015 at 12:47 pm

    […] post is so glad to link up with Suzie Eller and #livefreeThursday  and the Beloved Brews with Bonnie Gray, where you’ll find a ton of talented and encouraging […]

  • Reply Christine Duncan March 5, 2015 at 1:00 pm

    To awaken and become His Beloved… what a wonderful process it is!!! Thank you for putting words to the wonderful process of transforming joy, Bonnie!!! You bless me so much with your open and giving spirit. You’ll never know how much 🙂
    Much love, friend. Beloveds together!

    • Reply Bonnie Gray March 5, 2015 at 10:21 pm

      thanks for sharing how you feel touched as we connect through the book, blog and FB. 🙂 i do feel the kinship, Christine and am grateful. love! let’s be beloveds!

  • Reply Deborah March 5, 2015 at 2:56 pm

    Beautiful Bonnie, As God is showing me fractured parts of my soul and I am experiencing things like panic attacks reading your experiences and journey is like a touch from heaven. Thank you for your vulnerability, love and gentleness. Just what my heart needs to be reminded that our Daddy God is good and loving and enjoys us resting in and enjoying beautiful life!
    Thank you, you’ll never know the extent that you’ve touched my life!
    ((HUG!))

    • Reply Bonnie Gray March 5, 2015 at 10:24 pm

      hi deborah, it makes me happy to know we can encourage each other and we are beloveds… and to embrace the journey as a beautiful — albeit painful — journey of becoming whole, awakened, known in our soul. let’s keep letting God love us, as we enjoy and rest in all that is beautiful, good and gentle and sweet. as we become real, piece by piece. you’re beautiful, loved and precious. as is. 🙂

  • Reply Jenny March 5, 2015 at 9:14 pm

    What a great post Bonnie! Joy really is about believing we are worth it. One of my favorite books on joy is The 4:8 Principle by Tommy Newberry.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray March 5, 2015 at 10:26 pm

      thanks, jenny. i don’t know that one. thanks for the reference, to know it’s your fave! aw… sweet to be kindreds!

  • Reply Lisa Brown March 6, 2015 at 11:09 am

    I never thought of joy as a choice. I really thought it was something that just is. I guess I get happiness and joy mixed up. Joy is a gift. It is a good idea to ponder why we have such a hard time receiving it. Now I know what I will be praying about in my one on one time with God.

  • Reply Lisa Marie March 8, 2015 at 7:24 pm

    Bonnie to you I also say Thank you! I have been humbled by the response and support to my trauma story from friends, family and new friends I may not actually get to meet in person.Thank you all so much for the encouragement I will tell you releasing it has taken courage and a tremendous amount of energy as well as deep desire to heal. I feel so much freer and full of life. I am definitely more present in my life.
    http://healingtakesalifetime.blogspot.com/2015/03/i-have-been-humbled-by-response-and.html

  • Reply Lisa Marie March 9, 2015 at 5:45 pm

    I also thought of something today, when I was in counseling 20 some years ago the therapist had me color in a coloring book and it was so soothing. Thinking about your book and the white space and your suggestion of writing the letter from God I love it. I will also make a picture! I am off to buy crayons!

  • Reply Miriam March 11, 2015 at 8:07 am

    Bonnie, thank you for being that breath of fresh air in my life!! With the loss of my parents within these last 13 yrs and before that being there caregiver and just recently caring for my mother in love with Alzheimer’s who passed on ….I lost the art of being joyful and happy!! I t seems like it was slowly striped away with each loss and even though i truly love the Lord and visit with him each morning and thru services and bible study , i may get little pop’s of joy but is not constant. i encourage others who are in a hard place and that renew’s my spirit with joy…but i need to remember to receive joy as it a gift for me as well .

  • Reply Sheri Clark March 12, 2015 at 3:58 pm

    Learning through my illnesses that rest is, a form of worship.

  • Reply Missy mishler March 13, 2015 at 10:38 am

    Hi .. Someone forwarded me your website and I watched the video. So nice…. I know I need so much help …. Don’t feel like my mind and body can make it another day due to so many illnesses and lack of nutrion and no understanding family and friends. . I need to know how to escape thank you for sharing psalm 25. I opened my Bible right up to that scripture . I do have shame and memories and I am a visual person. It’s haunting at times. I would love you book and giveaway

  • Reply Debbie July 9, 2015 at 8:33 am

    I am new to this page and have only yesterday discovered your book, which I love. I described your book to my friends by saying that my life had so many pencil lines that belong to other people that there was no whitespace left.

    I especially love today’s topic. Joy is something easy to find, if we will allow it, but easier to loose.

    I live on an island, so I take a boat to my home each day. On days when the lake is a mirror, I love to drive in circles, make zigzag and generally drive like a crazy woman. But, recently, my life has become so stressed that I rarely do that. I have even consciously thought to myself that I have lost my joy. How sad to live in such a lovely place and loose one’s joy.

    I know, in my mind, that joy is a choice, but I forget that in my heart. I also know that joy is not the same as happiness. Happiness is external, caused by something else. Joy is a soulful thing, a choice and a gift from God. A choice which we can choose to accept or not. In the Artist’s way, Julia Cameron tries to drive that fact home. Each and everyday it is our choice to be joyful or not, an individual call.

    Thank you for reminding me.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray July 9, 2015 at 8:05 pm

      i’m so glad to meet you between the pages, debbie! maybe tomorrow you can do a couple zig zags in the boat for me? 🙂 joy!

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