“Let your religion be less of a theory and more of a love affair.” K. Chesterton
{my images are free goodies for you to enjoy & share. photo thnx to miss kerilynne, who shared her #spiritualwhitespace moment on instagram.}
I remember the first time I got an email from Eric. I read it over and over. It wasn’t more than a few lines.
How are you? It was nice to talk to you.
I remembered the shape of the paragraph, how the sentences wrapped around at the return of a line. Even though I couldn’t hear his voice, his words placed a conversation in a quiet corner of my heart. I couldn’t see him, but he felt near.
The emails Eric sent my way collected like beads of morning dew on clover. They didn’t need to be many to make my heart happy. His words stayed with me.
It was a love note.
Do you remember your first love note—how it kept you company throughout the day, even as you worked? How you could trace every letter, recalling every i and t? You never got tired reading the same words.
Even if you couldn’t see each other, you felt close, just by reading that same love note.
Yet, when we think about praying or spending time with God, we often beat ourselves up for not spending enough time. That guilt kills intimacy of the heart.
The world tells us to be more, do more. But Spiritual Whitespace is about taking time to find God’s love notes. To hear God whisper: Pause. Listen. You are my song.
In our Online Spiritual Whitespace Book Club this week, we’ve reached chapters 14-17 in my book Finding Spiritual Whitespace: Awakening Your Soul to Rest that talk about redefining prayer and spending time with God — so you can experience intimacy with Him again.
I hope you get a copy of my book to explore the details of what this can mean for you.
To encourage you, I’m sharing an article I wrote for Relevant inspired by my book: How To Pray When You Don’t Feel Like It — that became one of top 3 trending posts on Relevant.
If know someone who on a journey to renew their intimacy with God, I invite you to read today’s post — and share today’s encouragement with them.
I didn’t know that I was hiding. I’ve always been good at praying. Or so I thought.
My dad left when I was seven. I’ve always looked to God as my Father, my provider. What I didn’t realize is that God wants to be more than just my provider.
God longs to be my soul’s confidante—deep where I feel lonely, where I struggle to receive and make space for me.
Loneliness is something I usually cover up by getting things done. It looks good because I’m well rewarded for checking boxes and being productive. Even in ministry.
But at the end of the day, even though I’ve accomplished a lot, I don’t feel like I’ve fully lived. Because what I really want, I didn’t make space for: to be known. I did not nurture my soul with God.
I find it easier to take care of others and get things done for God, rather than be vulnerable with my needs.
God is showing me prayer is an intimate soul conversation to be loved and known, rather than a spiritual transaction to be made better.
Praying touches the part of me that is in process, uncertain, full of questions and doubts.
That is why praying is hard to do. And when I don’t know how to pray, it makes me feel ashamed.
Jesus understands and says, “Come to me, weary and heavy-laden. And I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).
Although this is Scripture, in our Christian culture, our desert prayer times are often met with well-meaning encouragement like, “Relationship with God isn’t a feeling.”
Although partially true, this can de-humanize our connection with God. The Psalmist reminds us there are no easy answers. “He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust” (Psalm 103:14).
Sometimes, it takes more faith to tell God we don’t know how to pray—rather than praying for faith to pray like we used to.
This is how I began praying new intimate prayers. As I did, I uncovered a few soulful ways to pray when you don’t know how:
When You’re Overwhelmed, Whisper His Name.
Remember receiving a first love note? It didn’t have to be long. Yet your heart felt known seeing your handwritten name. It kept you company in the daily grind. Whisper His name and listen for His echoes return in the quiet. God names the stars and He whispers your name.
“He heals the broken hearted…He counts the number of the stars; He gives names to all of them” (Psalm 147:3-5).
When You Don’t Have Words to Pray, Rest Knowing Jesus is Praying for You.
Your silence will not drive Jesus away. Nothing can separate you from His love. Not even your unrest. He’ll never get tired of you. Sometimes, the greatest prayer we can experience is God’s complete understanding and compassion. His presence.
“Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died … is also interceding for us” (Romans 8:34).
When You are too Stressed to Pray, Take Care of Yourself.
We are a generation who doesn’t know how to express our souls to God, even though we drive ourselves to exhaustion, doing for Jesus. As Richard Swenson says, “Chronic overloading is not a spiritual prerequisite for authentic Christianity. Quite the contrary, overloading is often what we do when we forget who God is.”
Extend yourself the kindness and comfort you generously give others. Ironically, the times we most need God’s comfort are the times we deprive ourselves of soul-nurturing time.
We feel selfish. Yet, God says, we can only comfort others with the comfort we first receive ourselves (2 Corinthians 1:4).
Instead of layering on guilt, let God love you through your choices to prioritize taking care of you.
When You Feel Numb, Invite Jesus into Your World. Journal.
Instead of struggling to reach Jesus, invite Jesus to enter your world. Research in a New York Times article shows the power of writing your personal story can lead to behavioral changes and improve happiness. Even 15 minutes of expressive writing makes a difference.
When we journal our stories with God, we give Him space to re-write our stories with us. Don’t you get ah-ha moments as you write?
“For the word of God is living and active … It penetrates dividing soul and spirit” (Hebrews 4:11–12).
The “word” is the Greek word logos—translated as living voice. God is not limited to the written word. God uses everything living to speak into our lives. This includes journaling.
Have an Honest Conversation. Take a Walk. Find God’s Love Notes.
Your silence will not drive Jesus away. Nothing can separate you from His love.
In a recent interview, Max Lucado shared prayer must be an honest conversation with God and not a repetitive act.
I don’t pray for long periods of time … my prayers are relatively brief. The times I really feel blessed through prayer is when my prayers are sincere—when I kind of think through what I’m going through, or I’m going through a hard time and I use that prayer to talk to God about everything.”
Take a walk outside and let God touch you. Research shows that just 10 minutes can refresh and help with anxiety, depression in school work, work and everyday life.
When You’re too Exhausted to Pray, Stop and Rest.
“Arise and eat. For the journey is too great for you” (1 Kings 19:7).
Elijah had done everything he knew to do—even defeating the prophets of Baal. Yet, his problems did not go away. Stress broke Elijah’s spirit. In despair, Elijah woke up to find fresh bread baking on hot stones and water—left just for him.
Not only that. God sent an angel—to touch him—twice. God knew Elijah needed physical rejuvenation first—in order to hear His gentle voice, whispering in a gentle breeze.
So, when you find it’s hard to pray, don’t be afraid. You’re standing at the very cusp of who God longs to connect with the real you. Take the time to rest. You’re worth it.
~~~~~
Pull up a chair. Click to comment.
What have you discovered about prayer on your journey? How has God been sharing his love notes for you?
Beloved Brew Link Up
Whole-hearted Writing. You & Jesus.
Welcome to our Beloved Brews weekly link-up! Pour out a little love with your words every Thursday {publish any day. link-up on Thursdays}. Simply write a blog post from your heart about what God’s sharing with you and then share it here. Don’t have a blog? Share a comment. Visit thebonniegray.com to read the comments & share your voice too.
Optional Writing prompt: {write a blog post from your heart about what God’s sharing with you} or {share your thoughts your journey with prayer. God’s love notes to you.}
Please use the Beloved Brews button in your blog post so others can join in with us {use this html code here}. When you link up your post, read & leave an encouraging comment on the post linked up just before yours. Thank you!
17 Comments
Absolutely love this, Bonnie. There is so much grace in your words. It is so refreshing to know that prayer is not an obligation, an activity to feel guilty about missing – it is truly an intimate encounter with the lover of our soul.
Blessings and hugs,
Kamea
Jesus words, “Come to me and I will give you rest” have taken on new meaning since reading this post, Bonnie. When I come to him in prayer with requests for loved ones, situations that need his touch, our country, our world, I can experience rest as I turn over all these concerns to him. What a comfort to know he’s interceding for us (Romans 8:34), and he will take care of each need in the best way, at the best time. After unburdening my heart to Jesus, I’m picturing myself resting against his strong shoulder, just enjoying his presences his reassurance, and a few moments of peace. Thank you, Bonnie!
[…] A Love Note: How To Pray When You Don’t Feel Like It […]
Bonnie…God led me to this post today. Your words are exactly what I needed to hear. I read this through three times through tears, my heart was bursting. I have been in an extreme faith crisis over the past 2 months. Your post today is my window, my window to look out and see the face of Christ. I will sit and listen to Him. I need time to pray and listen, but I know He is there. When He knows that I am prepared, I won’t have to find the door, my life will fill will light and I will see him where He has been all along, standing in the doorway with His arms outstretched. Thank you Bonnie, be so blessed.
Praise God for His daily love notes! May we always be attentive to see and hear them, and to wait expectantly for them in prayer! Thanks for the beautiful post & for hosting & God bless!
THANK YOU!!! My whole Christian life… for many of the years I know I received Jesus as Lord and Saviour. But I never knew I was living under works…it was all just being completely dead to self alive to God. I never knew what grace was. God was just my judge I had a real fear of God as had to keep the whole word of God. All I knew was to sow seeds of forgiveness peace and love. But I did not know what abuse was [rejection
abandonment shaming hurt and lies]. My heart broke spirit broke.
affection. I was cut off from family [out of state]. Never had body life
They just picked me up and dropped me off. Pastor lived out of town.
After my husband died..in my study Moses said show me your GLORY.
I thought glory cloud…He proclaimed his name MERCIFUL GRACIOUS
LONGSUFFERING ABUNDANT IN GOODNESS AND TRUTH.
I said that is who you are I don’t have to be afraid of you?
So that is how I experienced GRACE and so now I litterally am enriched by the word daily.
But (:(( with my heart been abandonded…he was there but not there.
Now with my relationship with God in prayer I don’t know how to
“feel” his presence or love when I pray…just when I am reading his word.
does this make sense?
Dear Bonnie…. I can’t get over how you always seem to be writing what Im feeling or something very similar to what I’ve been going through. 🙂
I too tend to busy myself and play the box checking game… I love what you shared “But at the end of the day, even though I’ve accomplished a lot, I don’t feel like I’ve fully lived. Because what I really want, I didn’t make space for: to be known. I did not nurture my soul with God.”
I”m feeling (more times than not) that lack of accomplishment even though I checked off many boxes in a day. If I look over my day, my prayer time and quiet time were usually quick to be interrupted by my racing thoughts and plans for the day. It’s easy to whisper a memorised prayer “God bless my family, protect us, use us today etc…” and even though he knows what’s in our heart he wants to hear it. He longs for those quiet moments to speak to our hearts. We’re so quick to waive off those moments in a hurry to get more done.
maybe becoming more aware of Him in those moments when there can be quiet and when we make time to pray, really speak to him about what is in our hearts.
Awesome post today my friend!!!
(((HUGS))) OXO
[…] at Beloved Brew, Thought-Provoking […]
Thank you so much for this Bonnie, this is exactly what I needed right now. As someone who is struggling with depression and anxiety I’ve been finding it so hard to find God in the midst of this and spend time with him. I shame myself so much because I’m a missionary and think I should be doing better in this area. So thank you so much for this.
Bonnie, I love this post…so sweet…love notes to Jesus…sometimes I just like to picture myself with Him in the green pasture of the 23rd Psalm, sitting beside the still water, just enjoying His Presence ❤️
We have had a series of losses of exceptionally holy people in our parish lately. It is taking its toll on all of us. Your words on how to pray when you don’t feel like it have touched my heart, and I have passed it on to others.
I wish i would have had this 16 years ago. The anniversary of the Columbine shooting is coming up and it has triggered a response in me. http://healingtakesalifetime.blogspot.com/2015/04/overly-sensitive-hypervigilance.html
I am so glad to know God so much better now. It is in a large part because of the faith those kids had.
Lisamarie
Hello Bonnie, I found your page following a link from your book which I saw advertised in an email I received from Christianity.com. For the last year and a half I have been going through a difficult battle with Agoraphobia. It was like my life went on hold and everything revolved around just trying to find courage to do a simple thing like shop for groceries. My body was so depleted in those early days, I barely had enough energy to dry my hair. Interestingly, as I look back over this time, I see Jesus in my trial every step of the way. All the wonderful scriptures that He has used to comfort and help me, fill my heart and spill out to others He brings into my path. These are precious ones who are going through similar trials. I believe this is part of the healing for us, the ability to comfort others when we are going through our own trials. This helps cement the beautiful words of Father God into our hearts, where we can pull them out and spread them like a soothing balm.
I think Father God has given you a beautiful ministry just like this. Just reading this blog encouraged me. There is something very healing in knowing someone has been where you are and seeing Father God bring them through it. Thanks so much for being real. Blessings to you !!
Thanks so much for taking the time to share, Germaine. It’s beautiful to hear how God is meeting you and it’s so real and authentic. God bless you … keep being courageous to follow Jesus, where He’s leading you in your journey of healing.
Thank you Bonnie for your very encouraging reply. Your book is extremely helpful and I am getting so much out of it. It has sparked many beautiful conversations with the Lord in the midst of reading. You have a wonderful gift to communicate with your words. I love the way you finish out a chapter by causing the reader to want to read the next chapter. Father God has truly gifted you and the fruit that will come from this gift is infinite. You went through some very difficult struggles growing up, but that makes Romans 8:28 come to life in a very real way when one sees how your life is turning out. He has given you ” beauty instead of ashes” (Isaiah 61:3). God bless you and surround you in His tender Fatherly Arms !!
Thank you Bonnie,
I read this post when I’m feeling down. I recently experienced a low point in life. I’ve lost a lot people on my journey, a lot of responsibility and expectations are on my life and every word on this page I felt I fit the description. Thank you for being the vessel. God lead me here. From the time I was praying at home until I went to church the next day and I went to the alter to pray and my heart began to cry out I felt a release. As I play the song Casey J- Journey it allows me to have the memory of who God is and what Jesus went through so that I can have this moment in my relationship with God. Thank you. Please continue to be a blessing.
thanks for sharing your heart, Chrissy. I’m so sorry there is so much pain right now in your journey, but you are just as loved and just as beautiful in God’s heart. I hope you have a chance to get a copy of my book “finding spiritual whitespace” – i share more of God’s whispers that comforted my soul and i share my story. blessings, sweet kindred.