One of my favorite things to do for my husband when we were dating was driving by his apartment and leaving little goodies on his doorstep. I’d leave a bag of Gummy Bears, with an I’m thinking of you note. Eric loved feeling special, and I loved being the one who could make him feel special.

Now that we’re married, I still like to leave little surprises for him. Just to let him know he’s special. But, I’ve applied the Gummy Bear Way to other things beside sweets and candy.

One of the areas that has frustrated me — as life got busy with the treadmill aspects of parenting — has been our “Date Nights.”

I used to think it didn’t count if I had to be the one to setup a Date Night.

Isn’t the guy supposed to ask me out?

Expectations

It was always so frustrating — waiting, hinting, acting all bummed-out — trying to get Eric’s attention.

What I really wanted to say was this: I need some loving. I want romance. Don’t you like me anymore?  

But I’d try to get this message across to Eric by putting my unspoken expectations on him.

Eventually, all those words would spill out in a puddle of tears. And our conversations would leave Eric feeling like I didn’t appreciate all the other wonderful ways he loves and takes care of me. Like the way he wakes up to feed the kids breakfast so I can sleep in. Or how he’ll make sure my laptop is charged up by plugging it in at night because I often forget.

I didn’t like how my conversations with Eric about date night was changing the feel of the chemistry between us.

He wasn’t feeling special, and I wasn’t the one who could make him feel special.

The Chemistry

As I noodled over how to solve this problem, I had a flashback of myself… (to be continued)

…To read the rest of the story, click here to join me over at DaySpring’s (in)courage site, where today’s post is published.

Pause. Get soul refreshed.  Join me there.  I’d love your company.