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Is Father’s Day Worth Celebrating Without a Daddy?

By Bonnie Gray • June 14, 2016 • 7 Comments

“He didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.” ~ Clarence Budington Kelland

Is Father’s Day worth remembering if you don’t have a daddy?

Since my daddy left when I was seven, I had never really had a hard time with Father’s Day.

I described it to my friends this way whenever they asked if it was sad growing up without a one.

I don’t feel anything.
It’s probably like being born without a limb. You can’t miss what you’ve never had.

Now, that I’m not a kid any more, I don’t have to lie.

It was sad — because I can never know what it’s like to have a daddy.

A Little Too Strong

I don’t recall the exact question I asked my mom.   But, I remember her words, like it was yesterday.

My mother told me to cope this way, “Just think of yourself as being born without a dad. Some fathers die when babies are born and they grow up just fine.”

She didn’t want my loss to be an excuse to stumble.  It did make me stronger.  A little too strong maybe.  I never felt the pain of a missing father.  I felt nothing.

But, it wasn’t true. I simply made a detour around the place inside that wanted a father.  I didn’t think I needed to be vulnerable, held, or carried.  To feel this way was a sign of weakness and limitation.

Why long for something I could never had? that’s what I told myself. I incorrectly believed that to question my situation was a sign of mistrusting God’s plan for me.

But, in recent years God has gently been bringing me back to this place of longing — and I’ve discovered that…

… (to be continued)

…To read the rest of “Is Father’s Day Worth Celebrating Without a Daddy?”, click here and join me over at DaySpring’s (in)courage site, where today’s post is published.

Pause. Get soul refreshed.  Join me there.  I’d love your company.

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7 Comments

  • Reply Christine June 17, 2016 at 9:49 pm

    Oh no! I went to follow the link to {in} courage but got a 404- page not found instead! Can you send me a better link? Thanks, Bonnie. Really wanted to finish reading it as I identify with it. I had a dad for part of my young life, till I was 15. But he was a tyrant. I grew up not knowing what it was like to have a loving dad like everyone else. And it didn’t really matter. It was like once he was gone I didn’t miss him.
    Now I have Someone much greater.

    • Reply Bonnie Gray June 18, 2016 at 10:46 am

      thanks, Christine! Just fixed it. 🙂

      • Reply Christine June 18, 2016 at 1:30 pm

        Okay I clicked on the original link in the original email and it took me to {in}courage but I still got a 404! 🙁
        Will copy and paste what I got here:

        MOST POPULARFRIENDSHIPENCOURAGEMENTCOURAGEPOSTS BY AUTHOR
        Not found, error 404
        The page you are looking for no longer exists. Perhaps you can return back to the site’s homepage and see if you can find what you are looking for. Or, you can try finding it by using the search form below.

        • Reply Bonnie Gray July 17, 2016 at 10:56 am

          THanks, christine! hope you’re doing well!

  • Reply Meghan June 18, 2016 at 4:53 am

    Hey, Bonnie the link did not work but I am sure I can find it when I scroll through (In)Courage.me! Thanks for sharing part of your story, I pray you are doing well and that the words are flowing!

    • Reply Bonnie Gray June 18, 2016 at 10:46 am

      thanks, Meghan! just fixed it. 😉

  • Reply Maine Belonio July 3, 2016 at 1:06 pm

    This is my struggle, who I am, and who I will always be. But God is my Father and I choose to believe that and embrace that truth amidst the pain of being fatherless on earth. Thank you!

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