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The Day I Made a New Vow to Be Loved

By Bonnie Gray • April 6, 2017 • One Comment

We didn’t have the money to see the doctor. But I was sick. What had started out as a cold was growing worse. Now I was having chills, a fever and my throat was burning.

I was eleven, which meant my little sister was only six. So I got the assignment to go to the Chinese restaurant, where my father worked as a a waiter and ask him for some money, so I could see the doctor…

The story you’re about to read is a personal story I wanted to share to encourage, touch and inspire you deeply. It’s a memory that’s surfaced a couple weeks ago, as I’ve been preparing to release a beautiful new devotional for your soul — my book Whispers of Rest: 40 Days of God’s Love to Revitalize Your Soul. I’ve been making some important decisions to personally invest in creating some beautiful resources and tools for you to more practically and powerfully experience God’s peace and spark joy through prayer and soul care (I’m keeping a surprise until book launch).  As I explored what it would take to get these resources created, I felt torn by my passion (I envisioned these resources, since I began writing the book) and the reality of what it would take.

Those of you who read my first book understand that as I take steps to follow my heart, to be who God created me to be, insecurities from the past may surface. Not to hurt me, but as a natural self-protection response, based on past experiences. But, God’s releasing this memory to the surface to heal and set my heart free. Why? Because God has called me to I step out to open my heart to joy and keep it open — in releasing this book — so I can share with you everything beautiful and refreshing with Jesus to spark joy and experience greater peace and intimacy with Him.

So, I’m not turning back. I’m leaning in!  I’m grateful to invest in creating the resources and tools for you that will renew the joy and peace with God in beautiful ways — just as it has done for me! And I can’t wait to see how this book will blossom in your heart! I take this calling as a ministry, to be faithful to give to you what I have received.

Audiobook – Whispers of Rest

And guess what, the little girl who longed to find her voice is recording the Audiobook Whispers of Rest in the recording studio this week! My publisher Hachette FaithWords who is producing the Audiobook will have it available to order by May 23, 2017. The digital and paperback book is available for pre-order now!

?I’ve never recorded 6 hours at a time for 4 days back to back– but I’m so excited and grateful to spend time with you this way – confiding in my vulnerable stories to refresh your soul with the 40 most beautiful loving whispers from God, to experience God’s peace and presence, soul care tips to spark joy and simple prayers to feel as beloved as you truly are! I cannot wait to hear what God whispers to you!

Pre-Order the Book: Whispers of Rest Book Club

 Pre-order a copy of the book, kindreds! I’m getting special gifts ready for our Online #WhispersofRest Book Club! For those who purchase the book, you’ll receive free access to join a Private Whispers of Rest Facebook Group to encourage and support each other during the 40-day journey! Registration will open soon!

It’s what I’ve longed to do — to create a community of friends, to encourage each other to rest, spark joy and grow closer to God through soul care and prayer.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable.” C.S. Lewis I didn’t know narrating the audiobook Whispers of Rest would be so challenging – even as I read one of my favorite quotes. The sound engineer kindly warned me before we started, that the first day is always rough. Was he right! I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to drink coffee – because caffeine dries your throat – so I drank 2 cups before I stepped into the recording studio (to ensure I had lots of energy, right?)

But, it turns out I had to work gazillion times harder to narrate while keeping my throat open! Otherwise, (I didn’t know this) your mouth makes noises at the end of each sentence when it is dry! (I dare you to say “vulnerability” three times in a row, as lovingly and equally as expediently as you can!) Plus, I had to speak breathing from my diaphragm (which I’ve never done for hours at a time!). Otherwise, you’d hear my breath after each sentence! Wow! I have a whole new admiration for those in the speaking arts!

Thanks to friends praying for me, I felt prayers lifting me up, with stamina and encouragement (yes, I was freaking out at first)! After the first hour or so of wrestling with this new way of speaking, I hit my stride — and got into a poetic and artistic zone. And then, the outer world disappeared and I was in that intimate, secret place of the soul — where it was just you and me and Jesus! I’m so grateful you’re with me in this journey. Your kinship mean the world to the little-girl-me doing something new! 

Back To The New Vow I Made To Be Loved

We didn’t have the money to see the doctor. But I was sick. What had started out as a cold was growing worse. Now I was having chills, a fever and my throat was burning…

I was eleven, which meant my little sister was only six. So I got the assignment to go to the Chinese restaurant, where my father worked as a a waiter and ask him for some money, so I could see the doctor.

It had already been a few years since my parents divorced– and I hadn’t seen him for a long time. I wondered how he would react seeing me at the entryway of the restaurant, showing up unannounced.

As I made my way toward the glass doors, I wondered what I would say to him.  

So this is where my father works, I thought, as I stood there on the emerald green carpet, dusty from fortune cookie dust and foot traffic, waiting for my father to come.

“What are you doing here?” my father asked anxiously when he saw me. He was working and I could tell this wasn’t the right time to ask him anything… (to be continued)

The Day I Made A New Vow To Be Loved

To read the rest of “The Day I Made a New Vow To Be Loved”, click here to join me at DaySpring’s (in)courage, where today’s post is published.

Join me there. You know how love your company!

 

(in)couragedevotionallovepeaceprayerrest

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1 Comment

  • Reply Ely Brown April 6, 2017 at 11:48 am

    I can’t wait for your new book, Bonnie! When I was 11 years old, I accepted Jesus at Summer Camp after our counsellor told us who Jesus had died for MY sins. I had heard the message a thousand times, but I never applied it to myself before! With tears streaming down my face huddles in my little bunk, I KNEW for the first time that Jesus was my Saviour! For some reason, 11 is a vulnerable age and I’m glad I found Jesus then! Good bless you for writing about your pain full memories and letting Jesus heal them!

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Bonnie Gray

“Bonnie has often led the way to freedom and truth by going there first herself. Her ability to invite us in as readers into our own stories only makes this world a better, more healed place.” 

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“If you’ve ever been weary and needed room to breathe, then Bonnie Gray is the guide you’ve been looking for as you journey with Jesus to a new place of peace and freedom in your life.” 

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