I find it hard to confess that I was emotionally wounded. Because you might question my faith.
Worse yet, you’d probably accuse me of not trusting God enough or tell me that worry is a sin, so I should just stop worrying.
Because if I told you I had been feeling numb, lonely or depressed, you might accuse me of not praying enough, reading the Bible enough or applying it correctly.
So, you might be tempted to think that people who read the Bible every day and trust in Jesus and not drugs certainly shouldn’t be suffering from depression.
Or you might think of Sinead O’Connor who had a nervous breakdown live on Facebook this month, as she heartbreakingly cried: “I’m all by myself. And there’s absolutely nobody in my life except my doctor, my psychiatrist.”
Then, you might think that people who suffer mental anguish don’t have friends, suffered sexual abuse as a child or ripped up pictures of the Pope on SNL.
But it isn’t true.
I’m here to say mental health issues happen to everyday people—even to believers who are strong in faith and have friends, because it happened to me.
The bad part was the sense of shame some Christians made me feel about my emotional struggles, but as I discovered how God views healing, I realized it wasn’t my faith that was flawed; it was their views toward mental health and faith.
Today, I’d like to bust some of those myths and share the truths that transformed my journey of healing into beauty and meaning.
GOOGLE AND THE ANONYMITY OF PAIN
Last week, Google began addressing the U.S. depression epidemic by announcing a new feature to users who search for “depression” or “clinical depression” by offering a questionnaire, so you can “check if you’re clinically depressed,” to determine whether to seek professional help.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, one in five people suffer from depression. Think about it. Whether you’re sitting in a small group, at church, laughing with friends on Friday night, odds are you or a friend are suffering emotional pain, even if they appear happy, sociable and capable. It happens in ministry too, whether you’re a pastor, missionary or youth leader.
Google developed this tool to help users ask questions about mental health in anonymity, without the stigma or shame of talking with a doctor or someone they know.
But this isn’t the way it ought to be among people of faith, who Jesus calls us to love one another the way He loves us: unconditionally. We are called to be known. But how can we light to the world, if we can’t be light to each other?
I know it’s easier to hide because I once struggled with anxiety, panic attacks and insomnia. I didn’t want anyone to think I was broken, so I kept quiet and prayed it would go away. But God wanted to heal me, not shame me.
EMOTIONAL TRAUMA: SOCIAL AND CHRISTIAN STIGMA
Out of the blue, during the happiest chapter in my life…
TO BE CONTINUED… Click on the link at the end of today’s blog post to read the rest of the article.
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Do you think worrying, being anxious or depressed means your faith is weak? It’s NOT true. Emotional stress is real.
We must end the stigma. I couldn’t stay silent. I know, because I’ve walked the journey to heal and I’m busting myths and shining the truth about mental health and faith with my personal story – in a BIG way!
Last week RELEVANT Magazine published my article on emotional trauma “Having Mental Health Issues Doesn’t Mean You’re a Bad Christian” – The response has been phenomenal! Over 6,000 Facebook shares!
Soak in the goodness and share with friends to encourage them!
It was scary to put it all out there in a single article. I only had 1500 words, compared to a book, which I had 60,000 words to tell my story in Finding Spiritual Whitespace and my 40day devotional in Whispers of Rest.
But, I wanted to get this right & silence the critics! Tell me I did you right?!
?Pick up copies of my books, friends!I wrote them for you, with all my heart:
Whispers of Rest – http://whispersofrest.com
Finding Spiritual Whitespace – https://thebonniegray.com/finding-spiritual-whitespace/
TO READ THE REST OF THE ARTICLE:
Having Mental Health Issues
Doesn’t Mean You’re a Bad Christian
Soak in the goodness and share with friends to encourage them!
13 Comments
But how can we light to the world, if we can’t be light to each other? – This is so true, Bonnie. Thank you for sharing this. I am heading over to read the rest now. Love you sweet friend; I hope you are doing well and that your book is reaching many!
Hi Meghan! thanks so much for sharing a comment this morning! it really makes this blog real – with real people! I’m doing well! Feeling so happy as I see many people changed with joy as they read Whispers of Rest and are refreshed by all the soul care challenges & lives are being changed! thanks for your encouragement! I hope you enjoyed reading the article! and how are you?
Yes the book has been such a blessing. Short and helpful is always a great way to go in helping an overwhelmed person and I feel like that’s what the chapters of your book do. I am doing well! I have come such a long way sincei started writing again and was first accepted to do a book launch (The Happiness Dare). God has used writing to help heal a lot of areas in my life and I just want to help others now. I pray for you, Bonnie — though I know I don’t go on your blog all the time — I still think of you often. Your first book was one I randomly (but not really!) picked up at a Christian store, when I shopping for a gift for my overwhelmed friend at the time. SO God is so cool that he weaves people we need into our lives! Keep on keeping on and know you are so appreciated.
Bonnie, Thank you for this article and for your book “Whispers of Rest”. I’m almost done the book and I wanted you to know that God has used it powerfully in my life. He has used it both to prepare and encourage me for the new ministry I’m taking on as an intern pastor and at the same time helping to uncover some unhealed parts of my heart. It’s kind of crazy that both are happening. For the article, you have spoken the truth and I wish the church would hear it. I can talk about my MS in front of the church but don’t dare talk about my chronic depression and anxiety because of chemical imbalances. I will need medication for the rest of my life. I’ve been on medication for probably close to 30 years. I have tried going off it several times only to plunge deep down into the depths of despair. Sometimes the severity of past trauma can forever alter our brains this side of heaven. I am grateful for loving friends, a Christian therapist, psychiatrists and doctors and a couple great pastors. I’m stable now. For some people depression and anxiety can be life long. The church needs to hear and understand.
Hi Ang! It totally makes sense – that as you are now safe to pursue your heart’s calling to be an intern pastor – that your healing is also happening – remember what I wrote – that a soldier only experiences healing after he comes home? 🙂 your heart is coming home & serving as pastor in this way is going to make you a real listener, and offer real compassion to walk alongside others and also shine in your gifts – not to perform or please others as pastor, but to be present with Jesus daily with anyone who comes across your path as pastor. So, I am THRILLED that Whiseprs of Rest is being used on oyur journey to serve others! REmember to priroitize God’s ministry of the heart in YOU – and the rest will flow naturally!! And I LOVED your powerful speaking out about MS and yet, the truth why are people not accepting and embracing of the medication you need to take for depression adn anxiety! well, I hope the article has empowered you!! You go, girl! think of al the people who will find encouragement & as for the critical voices, as you can see, even on my post, there will be critical voices. Our focus is not on what others say about us – we focus on being bold to say whatGod says about us! 🙂
I agree Bonnie. We don’t Job’s friends, however dealing with it yourself or even loved ones can be so difficult. I often refer people to Dr. Michelle Bengston’s site. I also think because you have a lot of mental oppression can be because the enemy ‘s fighting hard to keep you from God’s blessings or using your gifts. Thanks Bonnie
Aw.. what an encourager you are, Rebecca! blessing to you today!! xo
Oh Bonnie, these truths are so needed. I can’t count how many times insensitive remarks or these myths have harassed my soul. I wish I wouldn’t have read certain comments at Relevant’s site as it’s triggering me. But I am trying to focus on the positive remarks and your hope-filled message. Especially, I am trying to rest in Jesus who understands us even when other people don’t. His compassion, empathy, and unconditional love has carried me through so much. May God give you strength to keep voicing the insights He has given you! There are many hurting souls who need to feel they’re not alone! Blessings and hugs!
Hi Trudy, I’m so glad the article encouraged you! As for those critical comments, just turn to look into Jesus’ face. He’s gaze is on you. And those other people, He’ll protect you from them. You’re on the journey with Him – and those voices will just fade to the side. Just hear His words of love for you! Think about all the critical voices and words hurled at Jesus? He understands how you feel – while holding you close. No one can hurt you. You’re safe with Him! 🙂
Thank you, Bonnie. Focusing on how much Jesus endured for our sakes gives me strength. Hugs!
I have been a Christian since the age of 14, but my faith was never as challenged by anything as much the years that I suffered through a clinical depression at the age of 47. I had people in the church tell me it was a “spiritual” problem, that I needed to read the Bible more (I couldn’t even focus on a book let alone comprehend what I read!), doctors who told me that “I would be OK and that [it] would pass” as I sat in their office with tears running down my face. At the time I had a great marriage, my kids were thriving, my friends were wonderful and my life was full of blessings but at a certain point a threshold in my brain was crossed and there was a depth of sadness in my mind and my soul that were not easily fixed for reasons that I didn’t understand. There was not one solution, but several factors came into play which facilitated my healing over the course of 2 to 3 years: a small tight tribe of people who supported me, a wonderfully patient husband, medications and a psychiatrist that listened, a 3 week outpatient program that I chose to attend, and the realization that there is nothing simple about depression. I was encouraged by reading passages involving people who asked God to take their life, because I knew it wasn’t a sin problem but an emotional, and physiological problem with very real spiritual struggles. We suffer ailments of all kinds while we are here, both mental and physical. I have decided that far too often some Christians tend toward simple answers because they want to comfort those in pain and see immediate relief, since that is more in line with what they believe about a loving, healing, caring God, and makes us feel better, but doesn’t always help the hurting. Over the years I have found that the best response is to be willing to listen and sit quietly with people who are suffering. God was there through it all – the good, the bad, and the ugly but never left me alone, even when I felt abandoned and was flooded with a loneliness that I could never have comprehended. And 8 years after the fact I am thankful for what I endured – not because it was pleasant (in fact, at times I felt like I was in a mental hell), nor because I would ever want to go through it again but the suffering deepened my relationship with Him and others, and gave me a compassionate heart that was broken and put together in a different and better way that otherwise may not have happened. And I can also say that He is a good God, who does heal, but rarely in ways that we expect or desire and that I would not be standing today were it not for His divine orchestration in my life during that season.
dear wendy, what a beautiful story and journey you’ve shared! Love your boldness and vulnerability! May God continue to bless you – and may you give the gift of listening to others that is so healing and needed – with God together!
Thanks for this Bonnie. You’ve thrown a lifeline to so many! The enemy wants to keep people (especially Christians) in the dark so that they do not get the help they need. Jesus is our ultimate Physician, but he also made doctors to help us as well!
Bless you as you continue to bless and encourage others!