My hair was falling out.
Yup, me, the Asian girl with thick black hair, who has always been told by hair stylists, “Wow! You have a LOT of hair!”, quietly freaked out every time I washed my hair. It had gotten so bad, I started stretching out the days I washed my hair because I felt so discouraged by the amount of hair that collected around the drain.
It started last year during the pandemic. At first, I wasn’t too worried. “Oh, well, it’ll grow back later.” I figured it was a phase my body was going through, like when I had my babies.
When the pandemic first hit last March, I was pretty calm. “Things will be better by the summer,” I told myself. I held my breath, figuring surely by fall, my tween and teen would get back to school and I’d get back to my writing. I had a book deadline hanging over my head, but I just couldn’t get into that soulful space to write while hearing all the kid activity (aka racket) in the background. My bedroom door became a revolving door of the gazillion hats I wore throughout the day — from cheerleading mom to crisis youth counselor to referee to academic tutor to first-time homeschooling teacher to short-order cook to personal shopper and to just about everything under the sun.
My priorities were my kids and my husband. Me? I’ll figure that out later.
But the longer the pandemic stretched out, my emotional reserves, once filled with optimism, starting thinning — as did my hair. The more stressed I became, the more hair I seemed to lose.
What I needed was hope. Optimism is seeing how circumstances will get better, but hope is seeing…
to be continued on (in)courage where I’m posting today. I’m sharing a powerful insight with you there to encourage your soul!
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